It's Over. Move On.
Things have settled down this week. My stomach has been in knots once again about the whole Quinn thing, but I can breathe easily now. It’s not that things finally resolved themselves. It’s just that I came to terms with the fact that Quinn and I were simply dating casually, and that nothing else happened between us.
I got tired of being the one calling al the time. Sometimes when I really like something I am blinded by that and don’t see what really is going on. I didn’t realize that there was a lack of reciprocation from Quinn; didn’t see that he wasn’t as interested in me as I was in him. I also feel a bit stupid, ‘cause I was so confident things would work between us that I introduced him to most of my friends at my BBQ on Canada Day; I usually wait until things are going better with a guy before they get to meet my friends.
But I finally got the message. I tried one last attempt and sent him an email telling him if he ever wanted to talk or hang out to give me a call. I wasn’t expecting a response to say the truth, but I got an email back from him telling me he does want to hang out but he has other things going on right now, and he will call me in the future when things settle down.
So I guess that is good. I was almost hoping he wouldn’t reply or that he would reply telling me he just doesn’t like me. I wanted closure. I guess I got some kind of closure, but not exactly the one I wanted, ‘cause now I’m still left to wonder if he ever will actually call again.
But I guess that is good to know. I’m thinking that whether he does call in the future or not, we’re not going to be a couple. If he doesn’t call I may see him around sometime and that will be it. If he does, I guess we’ll hang out as friends and nothing more. Even if he did want to pursue something more, I'm not going to sit around and wait for him to come around. I just don't do that. If I were to give a guy another chance, they would have to fight for it and earn it. Guys have to learn to take their chance when they have it, and for Quinn, that chance is gone.
What sucks is that I have been hoping so much that something might work out with him, that I haven’t shown interest in other guys. Not that I necessarily want to meet someone else, but I may have passed the chance to meet someone great because I didn’t want to date someone else while I was still hoping things would work out with Quinn.
Anyways, no point thinking about that. I am again completely single and once more I’m going to try not meeting another guy right now. I think I need some time to be happy, because it seems that whenever I am dating someone I am always stressing about where things are going and killing myself trying to make things work.
I’m not necessarily giving up on men. I am just determined not to let myself fall for the wrong kind of guy again. Next time I fall for someone it will be for someone who shows as much interest in me as I do in him. I don’t want to be the one always trying to make things work. I want someone to call just as much as I do, and to think about me, and miss me, and to want to see me.
I guess I am a bit hurt right now, but it is always nice to come to terms with things. In a way you could say I am relieved that this is all sorted out now, even tho it’s not the end result I was hoping for.
Anyways, another thing happened the other night and it shocked me, and it filled me with sadness and I still don’t know what to make of it.
Daniel, the boy I was dating a few weeks ago and I have been talking a lot lately. We have become friends, even hung out a couple of times since we stopped dating. We are so different in many ways (like the drug use), but yet, so similar in others. I like talking to him, and could see us becoming good friends.
So the other night we were talking and he told me something extremely personal and sad. I don’t want to go into detail with it, because I don’t want to betray his trust. All I can say is that it is the kind of thing that makes all my drama about heartbreak and all the reasons why I get so upset about things look so minute and irrelevant.
There are people in the world with bigger problems than being heartbroken. He is my inspiration right now to get over the whole Quinn thing and get on with life. I have no time to mourn something that didn’t even exist.
Life goes on. Thankfully.
I got tired of being the one calling al the time. Sometimes when I really like something I am blinded by that and don’t see what really is going on. I didn’t realize that there was a lack of reciprocation from Quinn; didn’t see that he wasn’t as interested in me as I was in him. I also feel a bit stupid, ‘cause I was so confident things would work between us that I introduced him to most of my friends at my BBQ on Canada Day; I usually wait until things are going better with a guy before they get to meet my friends.
But I finally got the message. I tried one last attempt and sent him an email telling him if he ever wanted to talk or hang out to give me a call. I wasn’t expecting a response to say the truth, but I got an email back from him telling me he does want to hang out but he has other things going on right now, and he will call me in the future when things settle down.
So I guess that is good. I was almost hoping he wouldn’t reply or that he would reply telling me he just doesn’t like me. I wanted closure. I guess I got some kind of closure, but not exactly the one I wanted, ‘cause now I’m still left to wonder if he ever will actually call again.
But I guess that is good to know. I’m thinking that whether he does call in the future or not, we’re not going to be a couple. If he doesn’t call I may see him around sometime and that will be it. If he does, I guess we’ll hang out as friends and nothing more. Even if he did want to pursue something more, I'm not going to sit around and wait for him to come around. I just don't do that. If I were to give a guy another chance, they would have to fight for it and earn it. Guys have to learn to take their chance when they have it, and for Quinn, that chance is gone.
What sucks is that I have been hoping so much that something might work out with him, that I haven’t shown interest in other guys. Not that I necessarily want to meet someone else, but I may have passed the chance to meet someone great because I didn’t want to date someone else while I was still hoping things would work out with Quinn.
Anyways, no point thinking about that. I am again completely single and once more I’m going to try not meeting another guy right now. I think I need some time to be happy, because it seems that whenever I am dating someone I am always stressing about where things are going and killing myself trying to make things work.
I’m not necessarily giving up on men. I am just determined not to let myself fall for the wrong kind of guy again. Next time I fall for someone it will be for someone who shows as much interest in me as I do in him. I don’t want to be the one always trying to make things work. I want someone to call just as much as I do, and to think about me, and miss me, and to want to see me.
I guess I am a bit hurt right now, but it is always nice to come to terms with things. In a way you could say I am relieved that this is all sorted out now, even tho it’s not the end result I was hoping for.
Anyways, another thing happened the other night and it shocked me, and it filled me with sadness and I still don’t know what to make of it.
Daniel, the boy I was dating a few weeks ago and I have been talking a lot lately. We have become friends, even hung out a couple of times since we stopped dating. We are so different in many ways (like the drug use), but yet, so similar in others. I like talking to him, and could see us becoming good friends.
So the other night we were talking and he told me something extremely personal and sad. I don’t want to go into detail with it, because I don’t want to betray his trust. All I can say is that it is the kind of thing that makes all my drama about heartbreak and all the reasons why I get so upset about things look so minute and irrelevant.
There are people in the world with bigger problems than being heartbroken. He is my inspiration right now to get over the whole Quinn thing and get on with life. I have no time to mourn something that didn’t even exist.
Life goes on. Thankfully.