New Beginings: Part One - Relationships
In the last couple of days, a few things happened that make my life feel as if I am about to turn into a new chapter. I am so excited and looking forward the summer now more than I have been in the last couple of weeks, and to say the truth, I feel absolutely wonderful.
Part One: Relationships
A couple days ago Royce emailed me telling me that he’s not ignoring me (apparently not calling someone you’re kinda dating for a couple of weeks is not uncommon), and actually says he looks forward to hanging out more often through the summer. He then said that on the other hand, he wants to date around with other guys, and that he’s not looking for anything serious between us. I might have been a bit crushed had I been told this a week or so ago. But hearing back from him and hearing that was a god way to wrap things up. We will have to wait and see what the future holds; will we ever actually go out again or ever see each other? I still don’t know. I’d like to, but now I am more interested in being just friends than dating casually.
Hearing this has finally made me realize how much I put other people’s wants and needs before my own so often. Whenever I go on a date, if I like the guy, I always chose to ignore all the things that we don’t have in common. If I’m into the guy, I will pretty much compromise everything I believe it just to give us a chance, and it’s obvious other people don’t do that. Or at least I assume that is the reason why most guys I date decide they don’t want to keep dating after two or three dates. I now know that maybe I have to be more picky and stand for what I believe in. I should not settle just for any guy that’s half decent and gives me a second glance; I should look for someone who shares similar interests and beliefs. After all, this is the base of any meaningful long term relationship.
Having said that, I am not going to discard a guy just because I like broccoli and he doesn’t. But if I get the vibe that our lifestyle is completely different, I am not gong to sacrifice my way of thinking and adjust to theirs. Maybe I will concentrate on getting to know people better, instead of trying to rush into a relationship, and then see where things go. I should have been doing this for a long time. I guess it’s never too late to learn.
So Royce is not exactly out of the picture, but we’ll never be anything else that just friends (that is assuming we do see each other again). The truth is that I completely understand, because we are so different. He’s too independent, and, while I like my place, I am a bit needy and I craver attention. He is too much into nature and backpacking and rough settings, and me… well, I’m more of a clean-cut, four star resort kind of guy. We would realistically have a hard time adapting to each other’s lifestyle, and I doubt it would really go anywhere ‘cause he’d probably feel like I need him too much and I’d probably feel a bit neglected.
The day I received his email I was a bit upset, ‘cause I found myself again that much farther from not being single. By the end of the night, I was chatting online with other people I met through the internet. It kinda struck me right there that yea, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and I got to stop mourning whenever I end whatever kind of 2 week dating relationship I had with this or that guy. I am starting to see the end of these non-working relationships as new opportunities to meet someone else, perhaps someone who might turn out to be so much more than that, a long term relationship that will help me grow, or a partner. Whatever it is, or whatever will happen with anyone in the future is still up in the air. Let’s just leave it that there are three or four open doors that I can explore right now, and I am kind of eager to explore them. Where they lead (or if they lead anywhere at all) I will have to discover with time.
My friends always tell me to stop looking for a guy and guys will come. I think it’s true. The moment I am about to give up in relationships I unexpectedly find myself meeting new people, and a new opportunity arises. I am being patient. Let’s see how the man I’m interested in now plays his shots. So far so good; let’s see if it goes someplace.
Part One: Relationships
A couple days ago Royce emailed me telling me that he’s not ignoring me (apparently not calling someone you’re kinda dating for a couple of weeks is not uncommon), and actually says he looks forward to hanging out more often through the summer. He then said that on the other hand, he wants to date around with other guys, and that he’s not looking for anything serious between us. I might have been a bit crushed had I been told this a week or so ago. But hearing back from him and hearing that was a god way to wrap things up. We will have to wait and see what the future holds; will we ever actually go out again or ever see each other? I still don’t know. I’d like to, but now I am more interested in being just friends than dating casually.
Hearing this has finally made me realize how much I put other people’s wants and needs before my own so often. Whenever I go on a date, if I like the guy, I always chose to ignore all the things that we don’t have in common. If I’m into the guy, I will pretty much compromise everything I believe it just to give us a chance, and it’s obvious other people don’t do that. Or at least I assume that is the reason why most guys I date decide they don’t want to keep dating after two or three dates. I now know that maybe I have to be more picky and stand for what I believe in. I should not settle just for any guy that’s half decent and gives me a second glance; I should look for someone who shares similar interests and beliefs. After all, this is the base of any meaningful long term relationship.
Having said that, I am not going to discard a guy just because I like broccoli and he doesn’t. But if I get the vibe that our lifestyle is completely different, I am not gong to sacrifice my way of thinking and adjust to theirs. Maybe I will concentrate on getting to know people better, instead of trying to rush into a relationship, and then see where things go. I should have been doing this for a long time. I guess it’s never too late to learn.
So Royce is not exactly out of the picture, but we’ll never be anything else that just friends (that is assuming we do see each other again). The truth is that I completely understand, because we are so different. He’s too independent, and, while I like my place, I am a bit needy and I craver attention. He is too much into nature and backpacking and rough settings, and me… well, I’m more of a clean-cut, four star resort kind of guy. We would realistically have a hard time adapting to each other’s lifestyle, and I doubt it would really go anywhere ‘cause he’d probably feel like I need him too much and I’d probably feel a bit neglected.
The day I received his email I was a bit upset, ‘cause I found myself again that much farther from not being single. By the end of the night, I was chatting online with other people I met through the internet. It kinda struck me right there that yea, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and I got to stop mourning whenever I end whatever kind of 2 week dating relationship I had with this or that guy. I am starting to see the end of these non-working relationships as new opportunities to meet someone else, perhaps someone who might turn out to be so much more than that, a long term relationship that will help me grow, or a partner. Whatever it is, or whatever will happen with anyone in the future is still up in the air. Let’s just leave it that there are three or four open doors that I can explore right now, and I am kind of eager to explore them. Where they lead (or if they lead anywhere at all) I will have to discover with time.
My friends always tell me to stop looking for a guy and guys will come. I think it’s true. The moment I am about to give up in relationships I unexpectedly find myself meeting new people, and a new opportunity arises. I am being patient. Let’s see how the man I’m interested in now plays his shots. So far so good; let’s see if it goes someplace.