OOM: self-evaluation
She goes back to the lab New Year's Eve, determined to give this another try, and this time she's sure she sees Joshua somewhere in all that golden light. But she also comes out of it with a worse nosebleed than the last time, and no brother.
This, she decides, is absolutely fucking bugnuts INSANE. She doesn't even know if there is a payoff to this other than killing herself; the only evidence she has to the contrary are a bunch of dreams that may or may not be lying to her. And really, a girl can only give herself so many nosebleeds in the name of really sketchtastic science before she starts to question her sanity. Turns out Claudia's limit on that is two.
She checks herself into the psych ward; the doctors diagnose her with hallucinatory something-or-other and hop her up on pills. The pills make her feel really fuzzy, and like she can't really contribute to the group meeting things they expect her to go to. Of course, she also can't really connect to a bunch of people with serious anger management issues, or the ones who are really psychotic, so it probably wouldn't work if she were sober.
(There's a bipolar girl she thinks she might click with, if they'd met... pretty much anywhere but in a psych ward. But the loony bin isn't exactly a great place to make new friends, and she's out after a weekend anyway.)
The drugs put her in enough of a fog that she doesn't have the dreams anymore, and Claudia really enjoys that part, possibly more than she should.
But then her birthday rolls around, and even the drugs aren't enough to stop that one.
"Don't you have work to do?"
Joshua shrugs. "It's spring break. People will understand if I take a couple of days off of my thesis. Only a couple of days, though?"
"What's the big rush this time? Still trying to send yourself to London? Or is it Australia this time?" He changes his mind every week or so, it seems like. Not that Claudia can blame him, it's not like there's much to recommend South Dakota to... oh, anyone ever, but it'd be a lot more fun if she could go along.
"Well... yes and no. I heard there's a professor who's going to come through around finals who might be able to recommend me for a grant. If I can net that, this thing's going to get a lot easier."
Claudia grins. "Cool. So, does the mystery professor have a name, or is he so mysterious no one knows who he is?"
"Oh, no, he has a name."
She waits for Joshua to say the guy's name, but he got distracted by something, apparently, since five minutes later she has to say, "Soooooooo, what is his name? You can't get money from a guy by going 'see my really cool project, Mr. What's-Your-Face?'"
"Right, sorry. It's... Nielsen, I think. I've got it written down here somewhere. Don't panic, I'll have it down by May."
Claudia snaps awake the next morning, and the answer's still clear in her head: Artie, of course. He'd know how to make this right if anyone out there does. She has to get off the meds, get out of here, and get to finding him, if he's still alive.
Between easing herself off of the pills and convincing the shrinks that yes, she's having the dreams again (still) but no, she doesn't think she's crazy anymore, it's another three weeks before she's good to check herself out. And she doesn't feel crazy; in fact, she feels remarkably sane, all things considered.
She's got a brother to un-stick from limbo and a professor who can help with that to find.