(no subject)
I essentially totally fucked up my CSU application, and 70% of it is my fault. I forgot to say that I was in the process of taking classes to make up for two required ones I got D's in, and due to some other mistake of mine I forgot to mention two electives I took. My Admission Status page says that I could submit my transcript to them proving that I actually did, but a transcript wouldn't reflect one of the classes because I'm remediating it online. Or rather, I need to ASAP. It costs like, $120, and we haven't had the financial ability to pay for it for weeks.
We still don't. We also haven't had the money to apply for SFSU housing. I do not want to live at home anymore. I love my family, but really my mom and brother both depend on me waaaayy too much. I feel like a lot of the time I'm the one who makes sure that everything that needs to get done gets done. And sometimes I just can't handle it.
Unless I get a bunch of paperwork/arrangements done quickly and convince my mom or grandma to pay for those things RIGHT NOW, I may just scrap the whole SFSU idea. Which...sucks, as it's an idea I've become somewhat accustomed to, and there are definitely things about it that I like. *has no OMG #1 Favorite college choice*
I'm pretty frustrated that getting D's in classes is even an obstacle for me for college. Sure, one of them was Algebra 2, and I know I suck at math; I deserved it. I didn't try hard enough or study hard enough, it was an accurate grade. However, the other one was from English 2. English is...my class. I got a D+ because I didn't hand in the final project. I spent weeks dreading and being anxious about it, and ultimately panicked and had a massive anxiety attack the day before it was due.
This has been the general pattern with me and large longterm assignments since like, 6th grade. Sometimes I end up finishing them, sometimes I don't. Because in the latter case I just cannot stop panicking and calm down. Seems unhealthy, ne? Well, if it's been happening for so long and in such a pattern, why didn't someone (namely my mom) notice and get me help?
Some complementary questions to this are Why aren't I medicated and What the hell is wrong with me?
Maybe I could have accomplished normal high school grades with just financial or emotional problems, but apparently not both at the same time. There still seems to be no help in either case.
So.. this is just fantastic. Everything just seems to be heading in a general downward slope, and it doesn't seem like I can catch up or keep up with what I'm supposed to be doing.
Bright-ish point: I got cast as an understudy in the comedy. (We did auditions now so we can start immediately after the musical's over.)
We still don't. We also haven't had the money to apply for SFSU housing. I do not want to live at home anymore. I love my family, but really my mom and brother both depend on me waaaayy too much. I feel like a lot of the time I'm the one who makes sure that everything that needs to get done gets done. And sometimes I just can't handle it.
Unless I get a bunch of paperwork/arrangements done quickly and convince my mom or grandma to pay for those things RIGHT NOW, I may just scrap the whole SFSU idea. Which...sucks, as it's an idea I've become somewhat accustomed to, and there are definitely things about it that I like. *has no OMG #1 Favorite college choice*
I'm pretty frustrated that getting D's in classes is even an obstacle for me for college. Sure, one of them was Algebra 2, and I know I suck at math; I deserved it. I didn't try hard enough or study hard enough, it was an accurate grade. However, the other one was from English 2. English is...my class. I got a D+ because I didn't hand in the final project. I spent weeks dreading and being anxious about it, and ultimately panicked and had a massive anxiety attack the day before it was due.
This has been the general pattern with me and large longterm assignments since like, 6th grade. Sometimes I end up finishing them, sometimes I don't. Because in the latter case I just cannot stop panicking and calm down. Seems unhealthy, ne? Well, if it's been happening for so long and in such a pattern, why didn't someone (namely my mom) notice and get me help?
Some complementary questions to this are Why aren't I medicated and What the hell is wrong with me?
Maybe I could have accomplished normal high school grades with just financial or emotional problems, but apparently not both at the same time. There still seems to be no help in either case.
So.. this is just fantastic. Everything just seems to be heading in a general downward slope, and it doesn't seem like I can catch up or keep up with what I'm supposed to be doing.
Bright-ish point: I got cast as an understudy in the comedy. (We did auditions now so we can start immediately after the musical's over.)