Cringefest 2008 with your host Cindy McCain
I honestly never cared much about politics until the current presidential campaign. Now I can't imagine why I wasnt paying attention before! The world of politics is full of more ridiculous shit that I could ever come up with.
Enjoy this New Yorker article that obliquely demonstrates the various and sundry ways Cindy McCain is a blood-sucking harpy.
Sup, Cindy? It's picture time. (Hover for explanation.)
This woman is killing me with that damn blinged-out pin. Who needs a flag pin when you can have a bunch of diamonds spelling out your husband's name? Imagine how lullzzzy it would be if someone made a diamond "Obama 2008" pin and snuck it on her lapel. "McPain 2008" would be easier to get in there, though. There's just so many things I find off about her that I can't even bother to list them (right now).
Today's Discoveries and Revelations:
- I hate Urban Outfitters. They do have a lot of stuff I like (I say "yes" to pale grey nail polish), but priced at 5 times actual worth. I'm not paying you guys 20-summat dollars for a fucking fishnet scarf. I can't believe spent 50 bones on a sweater and almost 40 on a shirt there today. Everyone who shops there sucks. Yeah, including me. I suck today because I spent over a hundred and forty dollars there today. I also hate them for encouraging cotton mary janes and gladiatorial sandals. Or just barely there, sling-back leather piece s of shit people insist on wearing here. Walking around with all kinds of AIDS on your foot. If your going to wear strappy, non-existent bohemian flats in a major metropolitan area, GET YOUR TETANUS BOOSTER FIRST! There is but 1/3" between you and the coating of human grime and dog piss that paves our streets. In fact, I'm returning the shoes I bought today because, as usual their street skimmers are bogus sizes. Lastly, just because a top is two inches longer than usual does not qualify it as a dress. It may be all well and good when you're bopping around the city, but when you sit down, say on the subway, what's going to protect your ass from a thousand other people's asses? A hope and a smile? NO. Ladies, why expose your crotchal regions to unnecessaries?
- Thumbs up to Sweet Spicy Chili (or whatever) Doritos.
- SEED Magazine is my dream nerd magazine. Even the letter from the editor about personal genomics kits made me happy. What's even better is the fact that I don't have to pay for it, because I automatically get subscriptions to random-ass magazines from work. Blahahaha.
- One of my supervisors came back from Cape Cod today and gave us all tiny rubber baby turtles emerging from their shells. As the only thing decorating my cubicle, it's done a good job of making it look like a real person sits there.
- I love Buffalo '66. If they ever actually make that movie about Jimmy Gnecco from Ours, Vincent Gallo has to play him. If that happened, I might have burst a blood vessel or something. Jesus. And I actually liked Christina Ricci and her fivehead in it; how cute.
Also, I made a new friend this week. Scandinavian folk have always struck me as bizarrely kind and enthusiastic. He's playing at Nublu with his brother's band Saturday night if you're in NYC and want something quirky/fun to do. I believe there's video and lights, too. I particularly enjoy "Would You Like to Disco". Yes, yes I would. He's also playing with a woman named Sissel Vera Pettersen at Cachaca on Monday night. I'll be going to both. I sold Nikolaj my beloved clarinet on Sunday, so I was all set to hate him, but he's actually really nice and bought me coffee, so I can't.
I joined the bowling team at work, too. My social life is looking up already. I don't know if we get shirts, though. The softball team had shirts