You know what? Fuck Carnivals.
Yesterday was a mixed bag. A mixed bag of crap.
I hate DUMBO. It's not that far from me at all but, like Williamsburg which is actually closer, it's a fucking hassle to get to. Every time I go over there I get lost. Yesterday, I ended up in the projects and no one could tell me where a park that was not even a ten minute walk away was. Being late and lost made me miss Swoon! (not the lady artist, but some carnies on sticks) with Brenda. She said that it was only 20 minutes anyway and that the highlight was some guy in a neon thong reading a book. We then walked over to the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge for A Night of Fire, which ended up being us hanging out on the bridge during sunset with some drunk people in costumes and boring hipsters. It would have been great if I were drunk, in a costume and had a tambourine -- but I was not adequately prepared and an unfortunate hole in my pants was bothering. The same hole that's in 95% of my jeans. We followed the parade across the bridge and then pretty much ran away. We saw the revelers again while we were on the J train, which pisses me off because they got back to Brooklyn before we did, and there were about 1,000 of them. The cops were also not pleased.
This experience confirmed for me that I hate parades and carnivals. Maybe I would like them if I ever showed up drunk and in a costume, but honestly I'm not going to wander around the city in glitter and fairy wings drunk off my ass and hoping to walk into a parade. (Actually, now that sounds more attractive...)
I'm going to make my own parade. A laser light parade in honor of the planets complete with fiber optic Saturn rings and nebulae. And we'll supply booze and out-of-this-world marijuana cigarettes. Tambourines and tin foil hats will be mandatory because I'm sick of these parades that are all like, "Naw, guys. Y'all dont have to bring tambourines or wear tin foil hats," and then you show up without them and feel like an ass because you dont have a tambourine or a tin foil hat. Yeah, making them mandatory will cut down the boring hipsters you need for extra bodies, but I'd rather have a smaller, higher quality parade. Not to knock A Night of Fire. It's a really good idea and pretty successful so far as I could see. I kind of wish I'd caught the fire show at the end, but I wasnt in the mood for a night at Coney Island by myself.
Yos, she can be in my carnival.
"Miscellaneous Stardust"
I'll keep trying to like carnivals and parades, though. I would think I'd be the biggest fan of them. Maybe I just like the idea. Theme parks are definitely still out though. I fucking hate theme parks. Although a well-done theme park about outer space would be desirable.
On a brighter note, I scored a bag of chocolate covered coffee beans (probably not fair trade, oh wellz), while I was out I missed the dog's episode of explosive diarrhea and my dad accidentally bought coconut ice cream. I dont know how this happened because there's a pretty prominent coconut on the carton. But this is the same guy who bought a fist full of parsley and put it in a jar on top of the fridge. When asked why, he simply replied, "I dunno. Call me a superstitious guy."
Madame M.
Hmm, you've returned home. Did you hear?
They just found out that the earth is smaller in diameter than they have long supposed
it to be!
What does this mean to us?
Well I am building the deck outside to alternately operate as an escape vessel,
a two masted sailing ship, a sloop if you will.
What are you doing to prepare? Dancing! Searching for rubber boats and inner tubes ! ?
Fair enough. Sounds reasonable.
But...
Rattlesnakes hunt mostly at night.
So listen intently and carefully.
Here is a bedtime story, i just now for myself,
I am a terrible insomniac, sometimes.
There was once a tortoise.
He held his claws in fists and never opened them.
For inside each fist was a great treasure.
There was once a lad. A fey chap he may well have been, and lazy.
Who had been idly rowing about, when he hit a log and toppled over and
drowned. As easily as that.
On the bottom of the deep, deep lake, or river it may well have been, he
met the giant tortoise.
He was already dead, so he was little afraid and asked the tortoise:
"Great turtle, why do you clench your fists so-"
And the tortoise opened his huge milky grey, empty eye sockets and
bellowed out:
"IF YOU CAN TELL ME WHICH IS MORE VALUABLE THAN I WILL MAKE YOU LIVE AGAIN."
It's voice boomed through the water like a strong current.
And he held his scaly claws, encaked with aquatic plants and bugs and mud,
before him, and said:
"In my right fist is my old eye that sees through any lie and falsehood!"
And he opened his great fist to show a massive fleshy eye, staring.
"And in my left fist is my old eye that sees all dreams that people wish
for, all myths, and all fantasies as real before me!"
And the claws on his left fist opened to reveal a tattered tissue mess,
with a great pupil floating within.
"Choose correctly and live, or choose wrongly and remain here with me, and
be eaten by the fishes!"
The fishes swam about in anticipation.
This youth chose wrong, and remained there to rot and be eaten underwater.
Which do you choose?
~~
Maybe, I will want to go dancing when i go to NYC this wednesday, thursday, and then
maybe you might want to come with me friends to go somewhere?
Someone just caught something awfully large outside on the dock, i must go see.
I think I may kind of accept this sort of invitation to maybe go out dancing.
I hate DUMBO. It's not that far from me at all but, like Williamsburg which is actually closer, it's a fucking hassle to get to. Every time I go over there I get lost. Yesterday, I ended up in the projects and no one could tell me where a park that was not even a ten minute walk away was. Being late and lost made me miss Swoon! (not the lady artist, but some carnies on sticks) with Brenda. She said that it was only 20 minutes anyway and that the highlight was some guy in a neon thong reading a book. We then walked over to the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge for A Night of Fire, which ended up being us hanging out on the bridge during sunset with some drunk people in costumes and boring hipsters. It would have been great if I were drunk, in a costume and had a tambourine -- but I was not adequately prepared and an unfortunate hole in my pants was bothering. The same hole that's in 95% of my jeans. We followed the parade across the bridge and then pretty much ran away. We saw the revelers again while we were on the J train, which pisses me off because they got back to Brooklyn before we did, and there were about 1,000 of them. The cops were also not pleased.
This experience confirmed for me that I hate parades and carnivals. Maybe I would like them if I ever showed up drunk and in a costume, but honestly I'm not going to wander around the city in glitter and fairy wings drunk off my ass and hoping to walk into a parade. (Actually, now that sounds more attractive...)
I'm going to make my own parade. A laser light parade in honor of the planets complete with fiber optic Saturn rings and nebulae. And we'll supply booze and out-of-this-world marijuana cigarettes. Tambourines and tin foil hats will be mandatory because I'm sick of these parades that are all like, "Naw, guys. Y'all dont have to bring tambourines or wear tin foil hats," and then you show up without them and feel like an ass because you dont have a tambourine or a tin foil hat. Yeah, making them mandatory will cut down the boring hipsters you need for extra bodies, but I'd rather have a smaller, higher quality parade. Not to knock A Night of Fire. It's a really good idea and pretty successful so far as I could see. I kind of wish I'd caught the fire show at the end, but I wasnt in the mood for a night at Coney Island by myself.
Yos, she can be in my carnival.
"Miscellaneous Stardust"
I'll keep trying to like carnivals and parades, though. I would think I'd be the biggest fan of them. Maybe I just like the idea. Theme parks are definitely still out though. I fucking hate theme parks. Although a well-done theme park about outer space would be desirable.
On a brighter note, I scored a bag of chocolate covered coffee beans (probably not fair trade, oh wellz), while I was out I missed the dog's episode of explosive diarrhea and my dad accidentally bought coconut ice cream. I dont know how this happened because there's a pretty prominent coconut on the carton. But this is the same guy who bought a fist full of parsley and put it in a jar on top of the fridge. When asked why, he simply replied, "I dunno. Call me a superstitious guy."
Madame M.
Hmm, you've returned home. Did you hear?
They just found out that the earth is smaller in diameter than they have long supposed
it to be!
What does this mean to us?
Well I am building the deck outside to alternately operate as an escape vessel,
a two masted sailing ship, a sloop if you will.
What are you doing to prepare? Dancing! Searching for rubber boats and inner tubes ! ?
Fair enough. Sounds reasonable.
But...
Rattlesnakes hunt mostly at night.
So listen intently and carefully.
Here is a bedtime story, i just now for myself,
I am a terrible insomniac, sometimes.
There was once a tortoise.
He held his claws in fists and never opened them.
For inside each fist was a great treasure.
There was once a lad. A fey chap he may well have been, and lazy.
Who had been idly rowing about, when he hit a log and toppled over and
drowned. As easily as that.
On the bottom of the deep, deep lake, or river it may well have been, he
met the giant tortoise.
He was already dead, so he was little afraid and asked the tortoise:
"Great turtle, why do you clench your fists so-"
And the tortoise opened his huge milky grey, empty eye sockets and
bellowed out:
"IF YOU CAN TELL ME WHICH IS MORE VALUABLE THAN I WILL MAKE YOU LIVE AGAIN."
It's voice boomed through the water like a strong current.
And he held his scaly claws, encaked with aquatic plants and bugs and mud,
before him, and said:
"In my right fist is my old eye that sees through any lie and falsehood!"
And he opened his great fist to show a massive fleshy eye, staring.
"And in my left fist is my old eye that sees all dreams that people wish
for, all myths, and all fantasies as real before me!"
And the claws on his left fist opened to reveal a tattered tissue mess,
with a great pupil floating within.
"Choose correctly and live, or choose wrongly and remain here with me, and
be eaten by the fishes!"
The fishes swam about in anticipation.
This youth chose wrong, and remained there to rot and be eaten underwater.
Which do you choose?
~~
Maybe, I will want to go dancing when i go to NYC this wednesday, thursday, and then
maybe you might want to come with me friends to go somewhere?
Someone just caught something awfully large outside on the dock, i must go see.
I think I may kind of accept this sort of invitation to maybe go out dancing.