Thumbs up, thumbs down.
Thumbs up - Drunken parents. I generally like people's parents a lot, but they're even more fun when they've had a couple. Sober parents get a thumbs up, too, for the most part. Thank you to both sauced and not sauced parentals for a lovely evening of schmoozing, career advice, mildly inappropriate humor and being dressed better than I. This thumbs up is shared by the concept of the graduation party. What a great way to round up the elders and extort gifts and money out of them.
Thumbs down - Bitches. Yeah.
Thumbs up - People who manage to be more socially awkward than I. Or maybe just as socially awkward. I sort of met, but not really, someone's mom. I dont know whose mom. I had seen her around and been in conversation groups with her a couple of times earlier this evening. Or maybe not really. Maybe she was just eavesdropping on a few conversations I had with other people's parents. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, we finally collided directly when she was on her way out. It went a little something like this:
Me: [making eye contact with the lady since I felt I should say goodbye to her even though we didnt actually meet]
Lady: [stops to shake/hold my hand] Good night!
Me: It was really nice meeting you... [realising this was a lie since I never actually met her]...but not really.
Lady: [grins]
Me: ...because we didnt actually meet.
Lady: Yes. It was really great not meeting you...
Me: ...
Lady: Oh no! That sounds horrible. "Really nice not meeting you at all..." Hahaha...
Me: Haaaaaaaa... I'm Maya.
Lady: Oh! I'm [didnt hear, found difficulty focusing, as usual].
[And we go blah, blah, blah about Brearley. Wasnt listening.]
Me: Great! Well, good bye now.
Lady: Good night!
Me: Good night!
Lady: Bye!
Me: Hmm hmm! [smile. wave.]
Thumbs down - The 1 train. Fuck you, train number 1. How come I can get a 2 - a somewhat unreliable line - pretty easily going uptown at around 7.00p but it takes me 20 minutes to catch a 1 from 72nd to 86th? I should have just walked, but I was fairly certain that it was raining. What? Do you guys think that no one really needs to go anywhere between 72nd and 125th? You guys better be glad I actually like walking along Broadway. Otherwise, I'd be a very disgruntled strap-hanger. Because I'm not already.
Thumbs down - People singing on the subway. Until tonight I had always fantasized about singing on the subway, with some acoustic guitar... having some good times. Now I know that people singing on the subway, especially hacks with non-creative "original" pieces (of shit) who cant actually play the guitar, is really fucking annoying. Warm fuzzy moments like that dont exist on the subway. At least not the 3. We bond over mocking hostile bitches getting into ridiculous arguments, people with horrible fashion sense, dudes getting stuck in the closing doors and the voice of the one guy who collects money for the homeless. We dont hold hands and sing camp songs. We sneer and yell epithets. We flip the bird and steal seats from nice old nanas. And if you are singing on the subway, please dont convince yourself that you're doing me a favor... unless you believe that pissing me off is doing me a favor and even if you do, dont do it. I've got a portable music device and f'in 100$ in-ear headphones so I dont have to listen to you. Please, let us leave the music-making to the professionals.
Thumb up - David brand sunflower seeds in the "BAR-B-Q" flavor. You make shrivelled and irritated lips worthwhile. The "BAR-B-Q" flavor really distracts me from the errant shards of shell that inevitably get stuck on my tonsils. It's one of my favorite SNACKTIVITIES (a term apparently trademarked by David).
Eh. Okay.
Sure.
Word.
Say, what?!
Hmm, yeah. That's my shit.
(But fuck you, Derek Jeter.)
Thumbs down - Bitches. Yeah.
Thumbs up - People who manage to be more socially awkward than I. Or maybe just as socially awkward. I sort of met, but not really, someone's mom. I dont know whose mom. I had seen her around and been in conversation groups with her a couple of times earlier this evening. Or maybe not really. Maybe she was just eavesdropping on a few conversations I had with other people's parents. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, we finally collided directly when she was on her way out. It went a little something like this:
Me: [making eye contact with the lady since I felt I should say goodbye to her even though we didnt actually meet]
Lady: [stops to shake/hold my hand] Good night!
Me: It was really nice meeting you... [realising this was a lie since I never actually met her]...but not really.
Lady: [grins]
Me: ...because we didnt actually meet.
Lady: Yes. It was really great not meeting you...
Me: ...
Lady: Oh no! That sounds horrible. "Really nice not meeting you at all..." Hahaha...
Me: Haaaaaaaa... I'm Maya.
Lady: Oh! I'm [didnt hear, found difficulty focusing, as usual].
[And we go blah, blah, blah about Brearley. Wasnt listening.]
Me: Great! Well, good bye now.
Lady: Good night!
Me: Good night!
Lady: Bye!
Me: Hmm hmm! [smile. wave.]
Thumbs down - The 1 train. Fuck you, train number 1. How come I can get a 2 - a somewhat unreliable line - pretty easily going uptown at around 7.00p but it takes me 20 minutes to catch a 1 from 72nd to 86th? I should have just walked, but I was fairly certain that it was raining. What? Do you guys think that no one really needs to go anywhere between 72nd and 125th? You guys better be glad I actually like walking along Broadway. Otherwise, I'd be a very disgruntled strap-hanger. Because I'm not already.
Thumbs down - People singing on the subway. Until tonight I had always fantasized about singing on the subway, with some acoustic guitar... having some good times. Now I know that people singing on the subway, especially hacks with non-creative "original" pieces (of shit) who cant actually play the guitar, is really fucking annoying. Warm fuzzy moments like that dont exist on the subway. At least not the 3. We bond over mocking hostile bitches getting into ridiculous arguments, people with horrible fashion sense, dudes getting stuck in the closing doors and the voice of the one guy who collects money for the homeless. We dont hold hands and sing camp songs. We sneer and yell epithets. We flip the bird and steal seats from nice old nanas. And if you are singing on the subway, please dont convince yourself that you're doing me a favor... unless you believe that pissing me off is doing me a favor and even if you do, dont do it. I've got a portable music device and f'in 100$ in-ear headphones so I dont have to listen to you. Please, let us leave the music-making to the professionals.
Thumb up - David brand sunflower seeds in the "BAR-B-Q" flavor. You make shrivelled and irritated lips worthwhile. The "BAR-B-Q" flavor really distracts me from the errant shards of shell that inevitably get stuck on my tonsils. It's one of my favorite SNACKTIVITIES (a term apparently trademarked by David).
Eh. Okay.
Sure.
Word.
Say, what?!
Hmm, yeah. That's my shit.
(But fuck you, Derek Jeter.)