Naked + Dude = Nuded.
It's 4.43a on a fine Tuesday nightmorning. I'm supposed to be up editing/finishing my senior thesis on black trans Yahoo! groups and/or writing a term paper about Doris Wishman's '70's soft-core sexploitation films with gay-inspired characters. Instead, I'm reading Louis CK's blog about driving his dog across the country. It's like I'm doing one useless thing to procrastinate from doing two other ultimately useless things.
I dont actually think Louis CK is all that funny, but I really like him anyway. He's like a balding white man-version of me plus a mangey dog.
I've slept 30 minutes in the past 48 hours and I'm feeling great. I would feel even greater if I hadnt wasted these past crucial hours watching television, downloading random lossless concerts by bands that I havent even heard of and surreptiously picking out the Reese's cups and Whoppers from the 180+ candy bags sitting in a box in the middle of my floor that are supposed to go to my residents. No, correction - our (me + the other 4 residence hall staff in this dorm). These bags have been here for a week and a half and are stinking up my room with the LifeSavers peppermint and milk chocolate odor that is probably what the vomit of someone who only ate mint chocolate chip ice cream would smell like. I try to cover this up with a pikake flower scented candle my ex gave me for my birthday and which only smells good for an hour before it starts to smell like what the vomit of someone who only ate pikake flowers would smell like.
Here's the question of the day:
What's the deal with nudists?
Why are they "nudists" instead of "naked people"? I supposed being "nude" implies a way of being whereas "naked" implies a state of being. I only ask this because I walked into my watercolor class after cutting last week to discover a man disrobing at an alarming rate. (This was not expected.) Actually, this guy kind of looked like a totally naked and completely hairless version of Louis CK. Actually, it didnt occur to me until just now that it was bizarre that this dude -- I believe he referred to himself as "Todd" -- was completely hairless.
Now I'm okay with naked models, in general. I'm not okay with these creepy nudist guys with ridic(k)ulously huge wangs that I keep having to draw and paint. In Italy, while it was creepy to try to draw the sketchy man's boner (yes, boner -- Kraczyna* was never there to see it himself, so he never believed us when we told him that the nudey man got boners everytime us three girls were left alone to draw his hairy ass), it was less creepy because he didnt speak English and, besides getting hard-ons and staring at us inappropriately, he completely ignored us. [This is in no way to stereotype Italian men. This is to stereotype naked dude models.] The Nude Ragazzo also put on his skivvies and shoes and went for walks on his breaks as I've seen most naked models do.
"Todd" however just hung around all nude and sketchy-like. Sometimes he was compelled to put on a little towel (actually I think he had a couple of little towels that he managed to make a terry miniskirt out of) and Tevas yet he removed any bonus points he received from being less nude by walking around the tiny spaces between our tables to hover over us and comment on our paintings. "Todd" likes to hang around naked. A lot. "Todd" likes to chat with people while he's really naked and they're not. "Todd" likes to make jokes about palm fronds making his crotch itch, but then not do anything about it because he just likes reminding us about lunch he's packin'.
Question, "Todd" -- why were you still hanging out naked for at least 15 minutes after class was over while the prof was in her office and I was cleaning up my stuff? Why were you so eager to be nude for the prof's classes...next year? You just really like hanging out naked, you nudist. Sorry, "Todd" but I cant really take your commentary about my painting all that seriously when youre walking around the room naked when class is so over and I'm trying to talk to my prof.
If I werent graduating, I'd have written my thesis about nudist colonies and what compels people to colonise naked. That would have been a better paper.
Link of the day:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_positions
I learned from Wikipedia that there are more than two ways to have butt-sex.
*Swietlan Kraczyna -- I know him as "Nick". I didnt know his real name halfway into that semester. I didnt know he was some kind of famous printmaker until sometime towards the end of the semester; I just thought he was some guy who was really into drawing naked people, sometimes naked people having sex. I didnt realise why we called him Nick until today (middle name = Nicholas). I was not aware that people stalked him until a few minutes ago -- http://printfreak.blogspot.com/2005_06_01_archive.html I still dont know how to f'in' pronounce his name.
I dont actually think Louis CK is all that funny, but I really like him anyway. He's like a balding white man-version of me plus a mangey dog.
I've slept 30 minutes in the past 48 hours and I'm feeling great. I would feel even greater if I hadnt wasted these past crucial hours watching television, downloading random lossless concerts by bands that I havent even heard of and surreptiously picking out the Reese's cups and Whoppers from the 180+ candy bags sitting in a box in the middle of my floor that are supposed to go to my residents. No, correction - our (me + the other 4 residence hall staff in this dorm). These bags have been here for a week and a half and are stinking up my room with the LifeSavers peppermint and milk chocolate odor that is probably what the vomit of someone who only ate mint chocolate chip ice cream would smell like. I try to cover this up with a pikake flower scented candle my ex gave me for my birthday and which only smells good for an hour before it starts to smell like what the vomit of someone who only ate pikake flowers would smell like.
Here's the question of the day:
What's the deal with nudists?
Why are they "nudists" instead of "naked people"? I supposed being "nude" implies a way of being whereas "naked" implies a state of being. I only ask this because I walked into my watercolor class after cutting last week to discover a man disrobing at an alarming rate. (This was not expected.) Actually, this guy kind of looked like a totally naked and completely hairless version of Louis CK. Actually, it didnt occur to me until just now that it was bizarre that this dude -- I believe he referred to himself as "Todd" -- was completely hairless.
Now I'm okay with naked models, in general. I'm not okay with these creepy nudist guys with ridic(k)ulously huge wangs that I keep having to draw and paint. In Italy, while it was creepy to try to draw the sketchy man's boner (yes, boner -- Kraczyna* was never there to see it himself, so he never believed us when we told him that the nudey man got boners everytime us three girls were left alone to draw his hairy ass), it was less creepy because he didnt speak English and, besides getting hard-ons and staring at us inappropriately, he completely ignored us. [This is in no way to stereotype Italian men. This is to stereotype naked dude models.] The Nude Ragazzo also put on his skivvies and shoes and went for walks on his breaks as I've seen most naked models do.
"Todd" however just hung around all nude and sketchy-like. Sometimes he was compelled to put on a little towel (actually I think he had a couple of little towels that he managed to make a terry miniskirt out of) and Tevas yet he removed any bonus points he received from being less nude by walking around the tiny spaces between our tables to hover over us and comment on our paintings. "Todd" likes to hang around naked. A lot. "Todd" likes to chat with people while he's really naked and they're not. "Todd" likes to make jokes about palm fronds making his crotch itch, but then not do anything about it because he just likes reminding us about lunch he's packin'.
Question, "Todd" -- why were you still hanging out naked for at least 15 minutes after class was over while the prof was in her office and I was cleaning up my stuff? Why were you so eager to be nude for the prof's classes...next year? You just really like hanging out naked, you nudist. Sorry, "Todd" but I cant really take your commentary about my painting all that seriously when youre walking around the room naked when class is so over and I'm trying to talk to my prof.
If I werent graduating, I'd have written my thesis about nudist colonies and what compels people to colonise naked. That would have been a better paper.
Link of the day:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_positions
I learned from Wikipedia that there are more than two ways to have butt-sex.
*Swietlan Kraczyna -- I know him as "Nick". I didnt know his real name halfway into that semester. I didnt know he was some kind of famous printmaker until sometime towards the end of the semester; I just thought he was some guy who was really into drawing naked people, sometimes naked people having sex. I didnt realise why we called him Nick until today (middle name = Nicholas). I was not aware that people stalked him until a few minutes ago -- http://printfreak.blogspot.com/2005_06_01_archive.html I still dont know how to f'in' pronounce his name.