Renaissance Of The Self
I feel like I'm at one of the most optimistic stages in my life ever. I'm realizing my place, and I'm coming to terms with who I am. Every part of me. I know what I need, and I know what I don't. I'm at a point where I'm seeing who I am, and what is right for me. Realizing this just makes me confident about every decision I make. No longer hesitating, and second guessing myself.
I know that going for unstable women was a huge mistake. I know now that I can't truly help. The helps has to come from inside. Everyone's got to realize on their own what's wrong, and on their own, decide if they want to change it.
Let me tell you about this girl. I get this warm fuzzy feeling flowing through my body when I think about her. It's weird, the thought of her brings a smile to my face. I'm smiling now! She's different. So right. I feel like she's perfect. I know that she's not, but I'm so blinded by the things I like about her, that I can't see anything I don't. I'm starting to feel like I can say anything to her, as scary as that sounds.
For some reason, just talking to this girl moves me. My insides softening. Just being around her makes me feel safe. In the course of a couple hours I can go from, unable to open up to anyone, to almost completely being myself. I'm so relaxed, its so easy to share my thoughts and feelings with her.
She makes me feel human.
I know I get attached way too easily, I know I get clingy. It's part of who I am. I'm trying to avoid these character traits, but they're so much a part of me.
It just amazes me, the impact one person, one personality, can make on someone. It's like I was awoken from a deep sleep. I'd forgotten how truly special, a friendship could be.
I think about life, keeping score of the good and the bad, and getting what I want. So what if I never date her? I'd be wonderful for me, but what I've already received from just being able to talk to her, talk with her...is so much. I'm learning from this now, and going somewhere because of it.
I pray I never stop feeling this way.
Change can be good.
Change for the better.
I know that going for unstable women was a huge mistake. I know now that I can't truly help. The helps has to come from inside. Everyone's got to realize on their own what's wrong, and on their own, decide if they want to change it.
Let me tell you about this girl. I get this warm fuzzy feeling flowing through my body when I think about her. It's weird, the thought of her brings a smile to my face. I'm smiling now! She's different. So right. I feel like she's perfect. I know that she's not, but I'm so blinded by the things I like about her, that I can't see anything I don't. I'm starting to feel like I can say anything to her, as scary as that sounds.
For some reason, just talking to this girl moves me. My insides softening. Just being around her makes me feel safe. In the course of a couple hours I can go from, unable to open up to anyone, to almost completely being myself. I'm so relaxed, its so easy to share my thoughts and feelings with her.
She makes me feel human.
I know I get attached way too easily, I know I get clingy. It's part of who I am. I'm trying to avoid these character traits, but they're so much a part of me.
It just amazes me, the impact one person, one personality, can make on someone. It's like I was awoken from a deep sleep. I'd forgotten how truly special, a friendship could be.
I think about life, keeping score of the good and the bad, and getting what I want. So what if I never date her? I'd be wonderful for me, but what I've already received from just being able to talk to her, talk with her...is so much. I'm learning from this now, and going somewhere because of it.
I pray I never stop feeling this way.
Change can be good.
Change for the better.