1 year ago
I'm sitting here, in the same exact place (physically) as I was exactly one year ago. Last fall I went home with Amanda to Fayetteville, never imagining that my life would forever change because of it.
On Tuesday, Kelly's birthday, a year ago I met Sam at the Coffee Scene. I was a freshman at UNCG, no boyfriends to speak of, no love interests, comfortable in who I was, happy for the most part, adjusting to college life, and living with a Lesbian roommate. Then I met Sam. ::smiles:: It was the best night of my life, well, one of them. I guess I could say that it was the night that made one of the biggest and best changes of my life. Lol, Sam still had a girlfriend, but it sounded like they had a horrible relationship, kinda like the one Mike and I had, and I was completely attracted to him. I remember sitting in the coffee shop completely mesmerized as he was on stage playing the guitar. I even remember telling Amanda afterwards that "if I had a man who would play like that for me, I would be his forever" I remember going back to Amanda's house and talking, Amanda fell asleep and we talked for another 2-3 hours after, about... everything. Lol, I was so jealous of his traveling to so many countries that I wanted to, and felt dorky for boasting about my adventures in Scotland when he'd had so many more than me.
I remember going back to G-boro. Amanda had given me sex dice because she wanted to get rid of them, and she made a joke that all we needed to do now was find me a boyfriend to use them with. I told her, "Well! You just let me know when Sam breaks up with Kim!" Haha, I never thought that'd actually happen. Nor that just two weeks later he'd enter my life again and he here to stay.
It's amazing how much my life has changed in the past year, how different I am, and yet how I'm still... me? When I think about all of the things I've been through this year, and where everything has lead me, it just astounds me. I met Sam a year ago, then took a boy who I'd only know for 1 1/2 months home with me for Christmas. Then I had one of the hardest blows in my life when I found out that he had cheated on me, badly, with Kim (the ex). I was devistated, beyond devistated... But! We managed to work through that.
I then applied to Appalachian State University, got in, and transfered schools, spent the summer with Sam in New Jersey, had a pregnancy scare ( I wasn't! STUPID DIABETES), and am now sitting on the same bed I was a year ago. Well, actually I slept out on the porch a year ago because this room was being renovated, but still, I'm in the same house at least. Lol, I can't believe in one year, I met the man of my dreams, fell in love, had my heart shattered, finished my freshman year in college, transfered schools, and found my way back to God.
God truly never ceases to amaze me. He can change your life in a single second, with a single look from a boy playing the guitar. ::smiles:: My life is so very different than it was a year ago, and I am so happy with it now. I am forever thankful for everything that has happened in the past year, even January.
I am still struggling sometimes, still taking things in, adjusting. But ya know, the rest of my life is going to be like that. It is all going to be a series of changes, and adjusting to those changes. Even my relationship with Sam has changed, and yet I wouldn't trade it for the world. We have our ups and our downs, but I love him, so very much. The future scares me sometimes because I just dont' know where it's going. But ya know, I've always been one to just hang on by the seat of my pants and go with it, see where life takes me. So, that's what I 'm going to do. If Sam is the one for me, things will work out the wya God's planned for them to
I really need to stop worrying about things so much. Life is good, I just need to enjoy it more. I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me very much, really really amazing friends, a loving family, I work hard in school, I'm not DIRT poor right now, I have so much to be thankful for. I have so much to thank God for, so many changes he's made in my life and in me internally.
I'm going to go to bed right now I think. I'm baking tomorrow, and then going to the Coffee Scene with Sam at night.
I love you guys
sea depth
a girls whos life never ceases to amaze her.
On Tuesday, Kelly's birthday, a year ago I met Sam at the Coffee Scene. I was a freshman at UNCG, no boyfriends to speak of, no love interests, comfortable in who I was, happy for the most part, adjusting to college life, and living with a Lesbian roommate. Then I met Sam. ::smiles:: It was the best night of my life, well, one of them. I guess I could say that it was the night that made one of the biggest and best changes of my life. Lol, Sam still had a girlfriend, but it sounded like they had a horrible relationship, kinda like the one Mike and I had, and I was completely attracted to him. I remember sitting in the coffee shop completely mesmerized as he was on stage playing the guitar. I even remember telling Amanda afterwards that "if I had a man who would play like that for me, I would be his forever" I remember going back to Amanda's house and talking, Amanda fell asleep and we talked for another 2-3 hours after, about... everything. Lol, I was so jealous of his traveling to so many countries that I wanted to, and felt dorky for boasting about my adventures in Scotland when he'd had so many more than me.
I remember going back to G-boro. Amanda had given me sex dice because she wanted to get rid of them, and she made a joke that all we needed to do now was find me a boyfriend to use them with. I told her, "Well! You just let me know when Sam breaks up with Kim!" Haha, I never thought that'd actually happen. Nor that just two weeks later he'd enter my life again and he here to stay.
It's amazing how much my life has changed in the past year, how different I am, and yet how I'm still... me? When I think about all of the things I've been through this year, and where everything has lead me, it just astounds me. I met Sam a year ago, then took a boy who I'd only know for 1 1/2 months home with me for Christmas. Then I had one of the hardest blows in my life when I found out that he had cheated on me, badly, with Kim (the ex). I was devistated, beyond devistated... But! We managed to work through that.
I then applied to Appalachian State University, got in, and transfered schools, spent the summer with Sam in New Jersey, had a pregnancy scare ( I wasn't! STUPID DIABETES), and am now sitting on the same bed I was a year ago. Well, actually I slept out on the porch a year ago because this room was being renovated, but still, I'm in the same house at least. Lol, I can't believe in one year, I met the man of my dreams, fell in love, had my heart shattered, finished my freshman year in college, transfered schools, and found my way back to God.
God truly never ceases to amaze me. He can change your life in a single second, with a single look from a boy playing the guitar. ::smiles:: My life is so very different than it was a year ago, and I am so happy with it now. I am forever thankful for everything that has happened in the past year, even January.
I am still struggling sometimes, still taking things in, adjusting. But ya know, the rest of my life is going to be like that. It is all going to be a series of changes, and adjusting to those changes. Even my relationship with Sam has changed, and yet I wouldn't trade it for the world. We have our ups and our downs, but I love him, so very much. The future scares me sometimes because I just dont' know where it's going. But ya know, I've always been one to just hang on by the seat of my pants and go with it, see where life takes me. So, that's what I 'm going to do. If Sam is the one for me, things will work out the wya God's planned for them to
I really need to stop worrying about things so much. Life is good, I just need to enjoy it more. I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me very much, really really amazing friends, a loving family, I work hard in school, I'm not DIRT poor right now, I have so much to be thankful for. I have so much to thank God for, so many changes he's made in my life and in me internally.
I'm going to go to bed right now I think. I'm baking tomorrow, and then going to the Coffee Scene with Sam at night.
I love you guys
sea depth
a girls whos life never ceases to amaze her.