Ballad ♥
I rest my head. Between the bed and sky, download my dread, disarm my mind. Nothing in motion, and I'm satisfied. No disappointment, until I wake up. Don't want to wake up!!!!
So wild yet still transparent. It embraces feelings as it crushes rocks in it's way. No one can stop it anymore!
Let's say the past couple of day's have really been a roller coaster ride for me, things are going great at one point and the next you just want to scream BLOODY MURDER!!!! Maybe it's because that I am growing older or maybe I just need to be free and make my own decisions instead of other people laying down the rules.
Maybe I'm tired of giving the proper answer. Or being the goody girl. I don't know what I want at the moment, it's like one moment I've found out who I am and then something else happens and it just leaves me stunned again. And then I look around and I see families so happy and there children can make there own decisions and they can do what they want. If they screw up, yes of course they will get a lecture of there parents but at least they could try it.
For me that is not so the case. My parents are strict. When you are small you never really pay any mind to what they do, but as you grow older you just somehow want to break free and spread your wings and you your own thing. As of now, I feel like I am a caged up bird. I don't have room to spread my wings.
School right now is the only thing keeping me from going insane and the dream of going to the USA and stay with artsyazn for maybe a year is keeping me focused.
Sometimes I just want to scream out and cry like there is no tomorrow. People come and go in my life. Some leave deep scars that I try to hide, I keep on smiling and going on and keeping my head high, cause that is what I have to do. If i break down, I don't know what will happen. Love and hate relationship is what I have with my parents. Nothing can change that. Yes they will always be my parents but sometimes I think they are to controlling, and that will only end up with me rebelling against them. And there is a limit to things that I can take, they can say whatever they want, I'll just sit there and nod my head.
Maybe it's just time for a change. Maybe I just need something new.
Like I said earlier school is the only thing that keeps me from going crazy. My friends there are great, and it keeps my mind from things. Me and my sister are getting closer because of things. We talk a lot and have fun together when we can.
Wow, I needed this. I needed to vent a bit. It's not that long of a post but at least something. I promise the next one will be a more cheery one xD
I will be going on a field trip this Friday, maybe I should blog about that ^^
So until then.
Until them remember to eat fruit, stay warm and always go shopping and eat chocolate when you feel down!
Love,
Rebbie to the LC ♥
So wild yet still transparent. It embraces feelings as it crushes rocks in it's way. No one can stop it anymore!
Let's say the past couple of day's have really been a roller coaster ride for me, things are going great at one point and the next you just want to scream BLOODY MURDER!!!! Maybe it's because that I am growing older or maybe I just need to be free and make my own decisions instead of other people laying down the rules.
Maybe I'm tired of giving the proper answer. Or being the goody girl. I don't know what I want at the moment, it's like one moment I've found out who I am and then something else happens and it just leaves me stunned again. And then I look around and I see families so happy and there children can make there own decisions and they can do what they want. If they screw up, yes of course they will get a lecture of there parents but at least they could try it.
For me that is not so the case. My parents are strict. When you are small you never really pay any mind to what they do, but as you grow older you just somehow want to break free and spread your wings and you your own thing. As of now, I feel like I am a caged up bird. I don't have room to spread my wings.
School right now is the only thing keeping me from going insane and the dream of going to the USA and stay with artsyazn for maybe a year is keeping me focused.
Sometimes I just want to scream out and cry like there is no tomorrow. People come and go in my life. Some leave deep scars that I try to hide, I keep on smiling and going on and keeping my head high, cause that is what I have to do. If i break down, I don't know what will happen. Love and hate relationship is what I have with my parents. Nothing can change that. Yes they will always be my parents but sometimes I think they are to controlling, and that will only end up with me rebelling against them. And there is a limit to things that I can take, they can say whatever they want, I'll just sit there and nod my head.
Maybe it's just time for a change. Maybe I just need something new.
Like I said earlier school is the only thing that keeps me from going crazy. My friends there are great, and it keeps my mind from things. Me and my sister are getting closer because of things. We talk a lot and have fun together when we can.
Wow, I needed this. I needed to vent a bit. It's not that long of a post but at least something. I promise the next one will be a more cheery one xD
I will be going on a field trip this Friday, maybe I should blog about that ^^
So until then.
Until them remember to eat fruit, stay warm and always go shopping and eat chocolate when you feel down!
Love,
Rebbie to the LC ♥