(no subject)
I went on a lovely meandering bike ride tonight with the Pod, and it left me feeling rejuvenated. I'm so excited for the fourth weekend out here! I feel like it's been a few years since I've truly immersed myself in the general glow of the visiting fam and animals. The 4th itself is on a Tuesday, and there's been talk of having the "weekend" be that of the 8th and 9th. I have no preference; I simply can't wait to be out here in the midst of things. Again, I've burgeoned a bit and am ready and raring to enjoy and engage others.
I'll never forget the words of Margo Dallos on the eve of our venting at Meredith's house. "Introverts are those who become energized from being alone." When I'm solo, I recharge. I'm reborn. The thing is, I come out here to do precisely that, and yet I also come to enjoy the natural world of company and visitors, of docks and pontooning passersby. I see the deer emerge from the nearby wood, and whether I choose to molest them or not is dependent upon spur of the moment desires. This place is green and mosquito-ridden, the house defies my every woodland sense, the atmosphere is permeated with the bloming cosmos. I don't know. I love it here. The days are glorious, the nights still and sparkling, and yet it is now, dusk, that I truly appreciate. The light as it sweeps westward. The birds that sing their swan song until every breath of sunlight is extinguished. Sitting on the deck in the gentle humidity. Absorbing and adoring every moment, wondering how I could've survived the winter and its ornaments of stress. I really don't know how I did it. But I'm surer and stronger for it. I can feel it right down to the very fibers of my being. I'm excited for things to happen this summer, and yet I'm equally enamored with the prospect of nothing- of pure existence in this limbo between youth and adulthood. I yearn for bonfires, for walks by the lake, by any lake, for random drives and happenstance adventures. I'm ready and yearning for that. Prepared to dive into the pools of these pure, precious months.
What a divine sort of evening this is.