A copied email vent
I needed to vent about this, but I don't want to write it all out again, so, I'm c/ping an email here that I sent to my MIL. I've removed some names, but otherwise it remains unchanged. I don't have the energy to rewrite everything here, but I needed to get it out.
That lady that hit my mom right before [daughter]'s birthday is suing them. The insurance company informed them yesterday. Mom still swears that she was completely in the parking lot when it happened (which is impossible, and goes against her original statement to the cops right after it happened). She still swears that the van that she saw flipped over wasn’t the person that hit her, and that “they” (whoever “they” are - the fire dept?) were doing some sort of exercise to practice turning a vehicle upright (in the middle of traffic - yeah, right). She swears that the witnesses were wrong when they stated her back end was in the lane. She swears the cops told her that she wasn’t at fault (even though she was cited). She swears that the drawings of the cars, how they were traveling (direction) and where they came to rest after the accident is all wrong - she says the drawing of her car isn’t her car, and that’s not where she ended up after she was hit. She’s changing almost everything about her story (the only thing that’s the same is that she tried to pull in to the parking lot and these people walked in front of her forcing her to stop). She’s going to get on the witness stand, she’s going to tell them this story that she’s made up in her head, and they’re going to lose. And if that lady wins the case, they could lose everything.
Dad has tried to reason with her. I have tried to reason with her. She WILL NOT listen. She refuses, and flat out stands up and leaves the room when you try to calmly explain to her that what she says happened wasn’t possible. I asked her myself how someone who was in the street could hit her if she was all the way out of the street (and in a parking space besides, which she swears she was), and she just says she doesn’t know. She WILL NOT even entertain the thought that what she’s saying makes no sense, and that we might just be right. I told her that what she’s saying goes against what she herself said right after it happened, and she didn’t believe that either.
If they lose their house, they’re going to end up living with us (they’re my parents - I couldn’t just let them be without somewhere to go). This means that 1) they’re going to lose a lot of their belongings because we don’t have room for them, 2) we’re going to lose a lot of ours for the same reason, and 3) they’re going to be bringing two dogs and a cat into the house, which we definitely don’t have room for (and shouldn’t have in any case since we don’t need another cat messing with the baby’s allergies).
I don’t know what to do. Dad has given up - he won’t go see the lawyer with her, he won’t go to court with her. He won’t even TALK to her right now because he’s so annoyed and upset about the whole thing. There’s nothing I can do because if she won’t listen to him she DEFINITELY won’t listen to me. I tried to talk to her about it when they first heard the lady might sue, and she completely shut me out. In fact, she told me to get out of her house and not come back.
[Husband] told me to tell dad that we’d buy their house so they can’t lose that. He also said that if dad wants to get her declared unfit, he’d do it so that she’d be pissed at him ([husband]) instead of me or dad. I told dad that (I just got off the phone with him about it), but he’s still of the opinion that it doesn’t matter and that he’s just going to stand back and see what happens. He’s given up on it turning out okay. And when dad gives up, that’s a sign that things are pretty much hopeless.
I don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless about the whole thing, but history has shown that nothing I say or do will make the tiniest difference to her. She’s sure she’s right, and nothing anybody says will change her mind on that.
If there’s any truth at all in the court/legal shows they show on TV, the lawyer will try to coach her about what to say on the stand. I can only hope that that’s how it really works, and that she’ll actually listen to him/her and not screw us all over. We’re going to lose so much if she approaches this the way she says she’s going to - which is to tell her version of the truth. The one that couldn’t have happened and goes against her original statement to the police and the insurance company.
I just don’t know what we’re going to do. There’s a good chance this is going to go very bad very fast, and right now I don’t see any way of preventing it. I just wish she could understand what she’s going to cost all of us if she persists in changing everything around to suit herself. She wants to be completely clear of fault so badly that she’s unwilling to accept that something happened on her end to contribute to the whole mess. That, or she really *is* developing some sort of mental disorder, which will open up a whole new can of worms.
I really don’t want to see them lose their home over this. They’ve been in that house since before I was born (it’s the only one they’ve had since they got married nearly 36 years ago), and I’d hate to see them lose it now. It’s run down, true, but it’s their home. It’ll break dad’s heart if something that they worked so hard to have (it’s been paid off for at least a few years, now) is suddenly taken away because of her. They’re too old to try to find something new and get a mortgage all over again, and we can’t afford a bigger place to accommodate all of us (I wouldn’t have a problem doing that if we could afford it, but our house is worth about $8k less than it used to be because of how things are in the US right now). I’d have no problem whatsoever with them moving in with us if we had the space to live comfortably, but we just don’t.
I guess, if worse comes to worse, we’ll have to see what we can do about that - about finding something bigger that would accommodate all of us. Though I don’t know how we’d afford the payments on something bigger than what we have. (And with our property value down as low as it is, I don’t know if we could sell our house for enough anyway).
The entire thing is just so frustrating! I’m so worried/frustrated/scared/angry that I want to tear my hair out. I just can’t see a way through this right now. I really hope I’m overreacting, but honestly I don’t think I am. There’s just too much that could go wrong during the trial. There’s too much that that woman could take from them.
If she’s awarded some small amount (a few thousand dollars, say), dad said the insurance company will cover it. I really hope that’s how things go - hopefully she’s just wanting enough to cover the loss of the van and some medical bills. But with as greedy as she’s being, I don’t think we can count on that.
I’m out of steam. I’m just not sure what else to say about this. I’ve written as much as I have because I guess I’ve been hoping that I’d have some epiphany and would suddenly see how to handle this, but that hasn’t happened. So I guess I’m going to end this email here.
Sorry about the novel - I just really needed to talk to someone about this.
That lady that hit my mom right before [daughter]'s birthday is suing them. The insurance company informed them yesterday. Mom still swears that she was completely in the parking lot when it happened (which is impossible, and goes against her original statement to the cops right after it happened). She still swears that the van that she saw flipped over wasn’t the person that hit her, and that “they” (whoever “they” are - the fire dept?) were doing some sort of exercise to practice turning a vehicle upright (in the middle of traffic - yeah, right). She swears that the witnesses were wrong when they stated her back end was in the lane. She swears the cops told her that she wasn’t at fault (even though she was cited). She swears that the drawings of the cars, how they were traveling (direction) and where they came to rest after the accident is all wrong - she says the drawing of her car isn’t her car, and that’s not where she ended up after she was hit. She’s changing almost everything about her story (the only thing that’s the same is that she tried to pull in to the parking lot and these people walked in front of her forcing her to stop). She’s going to get on the witness stand, she’s going to tell them this story that she’s made up in her head, and they’re going to lose. And if that lady wins the case, they could lose everything.
Dad has tried to reason with her. I have tried to reason with her. She WILL NOT listen. She refuses, and flat out stands up and leaves the room when you try to calmly explain to her that what she says happened wasn’t possible. I asked her myself how someone who was in the street could hit her if she was all the way out of the street (and in a parking space besides, which she swears she was), and she just says she doesn’t know. She WILL NOT even entertain the thought that what she’s saying makes no sense, and that we might just be right. I told her that what she’s saying goes against what she herself said right after it happened, and she didn’t believe that either.
If they lose their house, they’re going to end up living with us (they’re my parents - I couldn’t just let them be without somewhere to go). This means that 1) they’re going to lose a lot of their belongings because we don’t have room for them, 2) we’re going to lose a lot of ours for the same reason, and 3) they’re going to be bringing two dogs and a cat into the house, which we definitely don’t have room for (and shouldn’t have in any case since we don’t need another cat messing with the baby’s allergies).
I don’t know what to do. Dad has given up - he won’t go see the lawyer with her, he won’t go to court with her. He won’t even TALK to her right now because he’s so annoyed and upset about the whole thing. There’s nothing I can do because if she won’t listen to him she DEFINITELY won’t listen to me. I tried to talk to her about it when they first heard the lady might sue, and she completely shut me out. In fact, she told me to get out of her house and not come back.
[Husband] told me to tell dad that we’d buy their house so they can’t lose that. He also said that if dad wants to get her declared unfit, he’d do it so that she’d be pissed at him ([husband]) instead of me or dad. I told dad that (I just got off the phone with him about it), but he’s still of the opinion that it doesn’t matter and that he’s just going to stand back and see what happens. He’s given up on it turning out okay. And when dad gives up, that’s a sign that things are pretty much hopeless.
I don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless about the whole thing, but history has shown that nothing I say or do will make the tiniest difference to her. She’s sure she’s right, and nothing anybody says will change her mind on that.
If there’s any truth at all in the court/legal shows they show on TV, the lawyer will try to coach her about what to say on the stand. I can only hope that that’s how it really works, and that she’ll actually listen to him/her and not screw us all over. We’re going to lose so much if she approaches this the way she says she’s going to - which is to tell her version of the truth. The one that couldn’t have happened and goes against her original statement to the police and the insurance company.
I just don’t know what we’re going to do. There’s a good chance this is going to go very bad very fast, and right now I don’t see any way of preventing it. I just wish she could understand what she’s going to cost all of us if she persists in changing everything around to suit herself. She wants to be completely clear of fault so badly that she’s unwilling to accept that something happened on her end to contribute to the whole mess. That, or she really *is* developing some sort of mental disorder, which will open up a whole new can of worms.
I really don’t want to see them lose their home over this. They’ve been in that house since before I was born (it’s the only one they’ve had since they got married nearly 36 years ago), and I’d hate to see them lose it now. It’s run down, true, but it’s their home. It’ll break dad’s heart if something that they worked so hard to have (it’s been paid off for at least a few years, now) is suddenly taken away because of her. They’re too old to try to find something new and get a mortgage all over again, and we can’t afford a bigger place to accommodate all of us (I wouldn’t have a problem doing that if we could afford it, but our house is worth about $8k less than it used to be because of how things are in the US right now). I’d have no problem whatsoever with them moving in with us if we had the space to live comfortably, but we just don’t.
I guess, if worse comes to worse, we’ll have to see what we can do about that - about finding something bigger that would accommodate all of us. Though I don’t know how we’d afford the payments on something bigger than what we have. (And with our property value down as low as it is, I don’t know if we could sell our house for enough anyway).
The entire thing is just so frustrating! I’m so worried/frustrated/scared/angry that I want to tear my hair out. I just can’t see a way through this right now. I really hope I’m overreacting, but honestly I don’t think I am. There’s just too much that could go wrong during the trial. There’s too much that that woman could take from them.
If she’s awarded some small amount (a few thousand dollars, say), dad said the insurance company will cover it. I really hope that’s how things go - hopefully she’s just wanting enough to cover the loss of the van and some medical bills. But with as greedy as she’s being, I don’t think we can count on that.
I’m out of steam. I’m just not sure what else to say about this. I’ve written as much as I have because I guess I’ve been hoping that I’d have some epiphany and would suddenly see how to handle this, but that hasn’t happened. So I guess I’m going to end this email here.
Sorry about the novel - I just really needed to talk to someone about this.