Second Date - Scripted
lilithbint wrote this most awesome dialogue-fic for the
nekid_spike Torchwood crossover week.
Second Date
I was having so much fun "watching" this "episode" in my head when I read it that I had to share.
Thank you lilithbint for all the dialogue and inspiration and for letting me share the joy that is Captain Jack's shinyteethcleavage with everyone :-)
Author: Lilithangel (with visuals by Anne)
Ratings: I think it's about PG 13 (lots of implied smexiness)
It's Torchwood meets Spike.
I don't own any of it. The characters belong to Davies and Whedon. It's all in good fun :-)
(But if Mr. Davies should take offense, I request that he please send Captain Jack Harkness to put the cuffs on me... that is all :-)
Jack: (narrates from off screen over the opening montage) Torchwood, outside the government, beyond the police. Tracking down alien life on earth and arming the human race against the future. The twenty-first century is when everything changes and you've gotta be ready.
(cue theme music and logo)
SCENE 1
(camera opens up on the computer station. Ianto is wiping coffee rings off the desks and picking up dirty cups and saucers. Tosh is wrapping up some work on the computers occasionally adjusting her glasses. Camera pans back and we see Owen who is poking something dead and alien with sharp pokey things pretending to ignore Gwen. Gwen is sitting at one of the desks reading a copy of the Weekly World News pretending to ignore Owen. Jack is at his desk in his office looking at charts and maps.)
Ianto: (to Tosh) So you’ve got a second date then?
Toshiko: (nods) Tonight.
Ianto: Looking forward to it? (grins as he wipes the desk down next to her)
Tosh: (smiles slightly and adjusts her glasses) Nervous actually. He’s not like any other guy I’ve dated.
(Camera pans to Owen and Gwen who exchange a look as if to say "She's dated other guys?")
Ianto: That’s a good thing though, isn’t it?
Tosh: I think so, I’m not sure. (puts on her jacket and picks up her laptop bag)
Ianto: (gathering cups and saucers) I want all the details tomorrow.
Tosh: (nods and smiles) Alright then.
(Tosh hurries up the steps and out the exit waving good-bye to Gwen as she passes. Ianto carries the cups and saucers up the steps passing Owen and Gwen)
Owen: (to Ianto) Where’s Tosh off to in such a hurry?
Ianto: (sighs and puts the cups down on the counter by the coffee machine) Why don’t you ask her Owen?
Gwen: (smiles knowingly and winks at Owen) I think she’s got a date. She’s got that glow about her again
Owen: (examines the dead alien thing more closely and says without looking up) God I hope it’s not another mind reading alien.
Ianto: (rolls his eyes and looks a bit cross) It’s not always going to be an alien you know.
Owen: (looks up quickly from the dead alien thing) What do you know about it Ianto, she tell you something?
Jack: (interrupts as he exits his office and looks down at the three of them with just a hint of teethcleavage) Alright people, let Tosh have her privacy. (He glances over at Ianto flashing full shinyteethcleavage) If Ianto was worried he’d tell us.
(Ianto looks up at Jack momentarily and grins. He quickly looks back down, blushing, and suddenly becomes very busy with making coffee.)
Owen: (calls up to Ianto and points the sharp pokey thing he's using at him) Just tell us is it a girl or a boy this time?
Jack: (trying to sound more annoyed than amused) Owen!
Owen: (glances from face to face and shrugs) What? Like you all weren’t wondering.
Jack: (turns and walks back into his office so they won't see that he's amused) That’s enough everyone get back to work or go home.
~~~ END SCENE 1 ~~~
SCENE 2
(camera opens up on the computer station...again. Ianto is serving coffee to Tosh who is doing some work on the computers... even though they shouldn't have beverages by all that electronic equipment. But who knows! I mean this is Torchwood people. Maybe they have some alien-super-duper-electronic-software-scotch-guard. Oh yeah, there's a scene going on here, sorry!...
Tosh occasionally adjusts her glasses. Camera pans back and we see Gwen who is poking something dead and alien with sharp pokey things pretending to ignore Owen. Owen is sitting at one of the desks reading a copy of Ok! pretending to ignore Gwen. Gwen and Owen exchange confused looks and then glare at the writer before swapping places. Sorry people! I mean Owen's pokin' stuff and Gwen is reading. Gwen and Owen tip a nod of thanks to the writer. Jack is at his desk in his office looking at charts and maps while fondling a box with an hand suspended in liquid.)
Ianto: (nudges Tosh with his elbow) Well…
Toshiko: (smiles and blushes not looking up from the computer screen) It was... nice.
Ianto: (grins at her and raises an eyebrow) Just nice?
Tosh: (shrugs and turns red to her ears) We went to dinner and a movie.
(Tosh pretends to busy herself with something in her notebook but leans over to talk to Ianto in hushed tones)
Tosh: (whispering) He was funny and a complete gentleman.
Ianto: (pretends to wipe something off the desk next to her whispering) And you were disappointed…
Tosh: (shrugs a little and whispers back) I was hoping for more but I get the feeling he’s been burned pretty badly in the past. Or I could be just making excuses for him.
Ianto: (looks around at the others quickly before whispering to Tosh) This Spike, you didn’t get a bad feeling about him did you?
Tosh: (at normal volume) No...
(Owen and Gwen look up at Tosh and Ianto and then at each other and then back at their dead alien and magazine)
Tosh: (tries again in a whisper) ...no. It's just...
Jack: (strides out of his office hugging his pickled hand box under one arm. He calls down to Tosh.) Tosh could you come to my office now please.
(Ianto quickly walks away from the computer area and offers some coffee to Gwen. Tosh climbs the steps to Jack's office.)
(Cut to Jacks office looking quite high-tech-Ikea-style posh with charts and maps and blueprints about. He sits down at his desk holding his pickeled hand box in his lap. He nods to Toshiko to take a seat across from him. She sits down and he begins petting his box.)
Jack: This date of yours Tosh, with this Spike person...
Tosh: (tilts her head and looks quite annoyed) Were you monitoring our conversation?
Jack: (answers nonchalantly and waves a hand as if to say that's not important) I monitor everything Tosh. (looks at her very seriously and stops petting his box for a moment) This date of yours is he a blond with cheekbones to die for and sharp blue eyes?
Tosh: (shakes her head and folds her arms across her chest) You know him? (mutters and rolls her eyes) Why aren’t I surprised?
Jack: (pets his box again) How did you meet him?
Tosh: (sighs annoyed at where the conversation is going and answers curtly) At a club, why?
Jack: (still petting that box... the writer is beginning to think the Cap'n has a fetish... Tosh clears her throat... nevermind, back to Jack!) Has he told you anything about himself?
Tosh: (stands up and puts her hands on his desk) A bit. Look what’s going on Jack?
Jack: (sets his hand box on his desk and leans forward toward Tosh) You know how with the faeries I said that not everything is alien? Well if your Spike is who I think he is, he isn’t an alien and he isn’t human either.
Tosh: (crosses her arms over her chest again and does the patented Tosh-is-annoyed headtilt) What are you talking about Jack?
Jack: (stands and leans forward looking Tosh dead in the eyes) Trust me please, Tosh. He could be very dangerous.
Tosh: (waves a hand and snorts if to "pooh-pooh" Jack) Don’t be silly. He’s sweet and kind and likes poetry for crying out loud. Why is it that you have to think the worst of who I date just because of one mind reading alien?(arms across chest, annoyed headtilt again)
Jack: (looks genuinely surprised and flashes shinyteethcleavage at Tosh) Poetry?
Tosh: (nods and adjusts her glasses) Yes, Poetry. The club we met at was a poetry club okay? Not some sleazy downtown bar. Spike is a nice man...man, Jack. (Tosh leans forward across the desk so her and Jack are almost nose to nose) Not alien. Not faerie. Man. Alright?
~~~ END SCENE 2 ~~~
SCENE 3
(camera opens on Jack striding down the streets of Cardiff flappycoatstyle. Tosh walks quickly along side him looking quite put out. As they approach a row of storefronts and coffee shops one of the doors opens and a man steps out. He's dressed in a long black leather trench coat, his white-blonde hair and pale skin stand out against the darkness of the night... he looks dead sexy, he does, with the hair and the leather and the hair and... oh sorry! Ahem... He doesn't notice the two approaching as he lights a cigarette and takes a long drag... with those lovely lips... ummm... nevermind.)
Jack: (approaches and stands a little closer than what would be considered appropriate) Hello Spike. (flashes him the shinyteethcleavage)
Spike: (turns and looks up at the man) Jack Harkness? (Gives him a big hearty hug with pats on the back and holds on a little longer than what would be considered appropriate) Bloody hell man, you haven’t aged a day. (takes a step back and holds Jack at arms length by the shoulders looking him up and down... but mostly down ;-)
Jack: (still flashin' the shinyshiny and takes a moment to look Spike up and down too, again though, mostly down) Neither have you.
(Tosh looks on with her arms across her chest and her annoyedheadtilt, tapping her toe on the pavement in front of her)
Spike: (ignores it and flashes Jack his patented sexyheadtilt n'grin. After he takes a drag from his cigarette he points at his chest) Yeah... but I’m a vampire.
Jack: (looks less shineyteethcleavage-ey) Yes and that’s what I have to talk to you about. (he reaches into his jacked and pulls out a wooden stake)
(Tosh stops tapping her toe and looks on wide eyed. She opens her mouth to say something but Spike speaks before she has the chance)
Spike: (coughs mid drag and laughs, with just a hint of nervousness) Since when did you do your talking with a wooden stake? (steps forward and puts a hand on Jacks shoulder looking him in the eyes) Seems to me we’ve had better things to stick each other with in the past. (he raises his sexyscar eyebrow)
Jack: (flashes the shinytoothygrin, takes Spikes hand off his shoulder and holds it to his chest) You’re dating a nice girl. She means something to me.
(Tosh rolls her eyes and sighs as if she should have known)
Spike: (grins back at Jack, glances at Tosh and then steps a little bit away with Jack. He leans in and says softly) Look she said she was single. If I’d known you had a claim on her I’d of backed off. (he then brings his lips right up to Jacks ear and whispers) Or offered to share.
Jack: (Seems to ponder the offer for a moment but then suddenly steps back brandishing the stake in front of him aimed at Spike's heart) She’s my friend and I don’t want her taken advantage of or turned into a vampire snack.
Spike: (backs away and puts his hands in the air giving Jack an innocent look) Not going to happen okay. Tosh is a real lady and anyway, I don’t feed on humans anymore.
Tosh: (quickly moves to stand between the stake and Spike) Jack what are you doing? Leave him alone.
Jack: (speaking to Tosh but never breaking his eye to eye stare with Spike) Tosh he’s not what you think he is.
Tosh: (matter of factly) If you mean he’s a vampire I’m aware of that.
Jack: (looks surprised and says to Spike) You told her?
Spike: (puts his hands down and looks genuinely offended as he moves closer to Tosh) Course I did. What do you think I am? Oh right, (throws his hands in the air) a mindless killer. (pouts at Jack)
Jack: (mutters) Well you were last time we met.
Spike: (sexyheadtilt grin at Jack again) Didn’t stop you flirting though. (takes a long drag from his cigarette and smiles looking Jack in the eye over Tosh's shoulder as he puts an arm around her waist)
Tosh: (steps back shaking her head at the both of them) Enough, the both of you. (faces Jack) Jack, I am perfectly aware of what Spike is and he has been a perfect gentleman until now. (turns to Spike) Spike, stop being so aggressive tell Jack about your soul and what’s happened to you.
(Jack and Spike exchange knowing looks and then look back at Tosh)
~~~END SCENE 3~~~
SCENE 4
(Camera opens on Tosh and Ianto back at the base. They're sitting at one of the tables sipping coffee.)
Ianto: (grins ever so slightly as he looks across the table at Tosh) Well, how was last night?
Tosh: (shrugs and sips her coffee) It would have been better if Jack and Spike hadn’t decided to play chicken. It took me hours to patch them both up.
Ianto: (winces sympathetically) ouch…
Tosh: (nods) Ouch indeed. (takes a sip of her coffee) Still the ending was pretty hot…(she grins up at Ianto over her cup of coffee) Anyway what are you doing tomorrow night? I know this blond you might like…
Ianto: (feigns shock to hide his interest and amusement) Tosh!
~~~ FIN ~~~