(no subject)
Woke up early after a restless morning and a night of weird dreams. Thought I felt ok the anxiety, sadness (crying), and a weird sense of doom hit me. I took an Ativan and got the kids up. I ended up sleeping on the couch part of the morning then after the crying bouts and weird feeling of unease continued I took a quarter of a 25 mg Seraquel. I was ok right after but several hours later it knocked me on my ass and I ended up sleeping on the couch again. Feeling really worthless as a parent today. Button came by in the afternoon and watched the kids while I took a shower.
This disease has become my life. At first it just overtook my body and my mind but now it has taken over my conscious as well. I worry about medications and their side effects, whether I am up or down and worrying about that makes me anxious. Whether this is all there is to my life and if my marriage can actually survive this and what effect it's having on my kids. I don't think about anything else.
I wasn't just anxious today like I have been, little bouts of anxiety. It was the all encompassing anxiety creeping back. I noticed some of my OCD coming back today after not having any since I began seeing Dr. Pelayo (starting the Seroquel).
This disease has become my life. At first it just overtook my body and my mind but now it has taken over my conscious as well. I worry about medications and their side effects, whether I am up or down and worrying about that makes me anxious. Whether this is all there is to my life and if my marriage can actually survive this and what effect it's having on my kids. I don't think about anything else.
I wasn't just anxious today like I have been, little bouts of anxiety. It was the all encompassing anxiety creeping back. I noticed some of my OCD coming back today after not having any since I began seeing Dr. Pelayo (starting the Seroquel).