American Beat: Embracing My Inner Man
More in depth articles and tips posted at her cheap jordans,Following writing a recent column about my disgust for sport utility autos, I received a barrage of hate mail decrying me, at greatest, like a Grinch who wants to steal America's beloved automobiles to, at worst, a God-damned Communist who wants to destroy America's way of existence.1 letter author even begged me to come to Kansas City so he could kick my ass back to New York.Well, you are able to quit with the hate mail; I am prepared to reconsider. Perhaps I have been a bit of a stick-in-the-mud on transportation problems. Maybe I've allowed the sugary siren song of an efficient hybrid vehicle or a solar-powered concept vehicle to make me neglect that it is each and every American's God-given correct to drive what ever he wants, anytime he desires, wherever he wants.Maybe my issue is that I've castrated the macho man that lives within me. If that's the case, I thought, all I needed was a refreshing trip to the New York Auto Show, going on right now.I should admit, to me, the new York Automobile Display is like some punchline in an Ed Begley Jr. joke. A vehicle display in a town exactly where nobody drives? A celebration of a product that, as a by-product of getting us from Point A to Point B, produces toxic gases that kill us?Still, I vowed to put cynicism aside as I headed for the Javits Center on my mission to find (and embrace, if he'd let me) my inner he-man, that testosterone-swilling, horsepower-addicted, cargo-space-demanding, Corinthian-leather-craving, car-buying American inside me.I tried--I seriously tried--but I couldn't silence my outer environmentalist. Whenever my inner he-man began drooling over some hot rod with 17-inch tires, my outer Green geek would complain about the fuel economy. Anytime the macho man inside me lusted more than a sports activities vehicle that goes from 0-60 in 4 seconds, the wimpy tree-hugger without asked, What, 0-60 in 11 seconds isn't quick enough for you personally?Every automaker's exhibit raised concerns that my inner man couldn't solution. For instance:Are Concept Cars Anything But Car-Show Porno?If you've never been to an auto display, you may be shocked to discover that all the major producers dress up their tired old models by placing them in proximity to some thing called the concept car. This futuristic stunner--which seems as if it continues to be carved out of a single piece of African ivory and painted in 45 coats of gold lacquer-swivels ever-so-slowly on a silver-plated turntable to ensure that its fenders are just past the outstretched attain of every 16-year-old kid about to obtain his learner's permit or each and every 50-year-old man in the middle of a midlife crisis.However the sexier the car, the uglier the remainder with the automaker's fleet seems by comparison. In the Buick section, a pack of sweaty men had been panting more than a Cielo concept vehicle, which was so attractive, so curvy, so deserving of lust that it almost makes men actually consider purchasing a Buick.Meanwhile, a Buick saleswoman was standing a couple of feet away, starting a revenue pitch about a vehicle that looked as if it had rolled off a 1986 Buick assembly line. Let the record show, not a single individual moved away from the Cielo to listen towards the woman's spiel, further proof that Buick is creating the ugliest production vehicles in the globe (and I say that fully conscious that some factory in Serbia is probably still cranking out Yugos).As I toured other manufacturers' zones, I began to see idea vehicles are absolutely nothing but a bait-and-switch operation, a ploy to get your inner man so drunk on fantasy that he's willing to endure the hangover of purchasing an additional dull sedan.Pontiac's saleswoman, a comely lass named Jennifer, showed off her company's Solstice concept vehicle, a car so hot that even the exhaust pipes are attractive (they ought to be; oddly, they're mounted to resemble female genitalia).It'll begin at $20,000--if we build it, Jennifer cooed as the Solstice spun. But we'll only build it if we get a large response, so go to pontiac.com and inform 'em you want one! As bait-and-switch techniques go, this was about as sophisticated as an electronics store that advertises a DVD player for $100 and then tells you they've just run out of them prior to selling you the $189 model which you did not want.Do SUVs Really Have to Get Bigger?Hard to think, but the 5,000-pound trucks that the automakers prefer to market as vehicles are really obtaining bigger, in spite of nearly two many years of bad press, our nation's dependence on foreign--read Arab--oil and enough rollover deaths to scare off a stuntman. This year, Ford unveiled its Everest SUV, which is so big that it could seat 9 adults. My inner man marveled, but my outer geek wondered, What, am I driving the Mets to road video games this year?Isuzu features a new SUV known as the Ascender, which, at 207.6 inches, is long sufficient to comfortably shelter two Michael Jordans, plus a reasonably big dwarf, lying end-to-end. Isuzu proudly proclaims that the Ascender has 100 cubic feet of cargo room. I do not even believe I own one hundred cubic feet of stuff. And if I did, would I want to take it wherever I go? I am neurotic, but even I am not that attached to my stuff.And, at lengthy last, if these SUVs keep obtaining larger, how come they nonetheless do not have any rear-seat legroom? Seriously, if I'm going to pay $45,000 for an environment-defiling, resource-consuming death machine, the least they could do is give my passengers some back-seat space.Because the Everest circled past me, I noticed that Ford stylists had filled the trunk with mountain-climbing gear, which includes a pair of long-spiked, ice-climbing footwear, which led me to my subsequent question:Why Would be the Biggest, Most Gas-Guzzling, Air-Smogging SUVs The Ones That Perfume Their Stench With the Heady Musk of the Excellent Outdoors?My inner man gave in to the fantasy of driving a Ford Everest halfway up the mountain of the same title after which ice-climbing the rest of the way up. My outer geek merely wondered, If we were all driving Ford Everests, how lengthy would it be before the planet was so warm that there was no ice left to climb?Whatever Happened to Economical Economy Cars?Whilst my inner man was cruising for Porsches, my outer geek was checking out the boring old economic climate vehicles that get his heart racing. But somewhere between low gas prices and the SUV craze, makers like Honda, Hyundai and others have lost their way. How come a Honda accord having a four-cylinder engine gets only 23 mpg? Is it too much to inquire that a Hyundai Accent, which is about as large as a body fat guy's coffin, get more than 25 mpg? And it is it possible that the Hyundai XG350L (what, did they run out of names following they stole Tiburon from that great Star Trek episode?) gets only 18 mpg? My inner man could gloat: He could match that Hyundai in the trunk of a Ford Everest and get nearly exactly the same mileage.Does Everyone Despise Ford Motor Company CEO Bill Ford As A lot As I Do?A direct descendent of Henry Ford, Bill Ford continues to be popping up in Ford commercials all year. In an work to deflect focus away from Ford vehicles, Ford has produced himself the story, filling valuable Tv airtime with tales of his family's commitment to creating high-quality cars and his individual dedication towards the atmosphere. My inner man loves the take-charge Ford, but my outer geek cannot stand his hypocrisy. How can a guy claim to become an environmentalist when his company's exhibition space at the New York Automobile Show was so packed with SUVs--from the behemoth Everest towards the merely gargantuan Escape--that the whole region looked like the parking lot at a Detroit Lions football game? And not even my inner man could understand that one commercial in which Ford claims that he's so addicted to fresh air that he by no means stays at a hotel where you cannot open the windows. Can you picture becoming this man's secretary? Madge, I am going on an additional business trip, so I need you to call each and every hotel in Phoenix and find out which ones have windows that open. What is next? A list of all of the ATMs inside a five-block radius that do not charge a service fee?Is There An SUV Backlash Brewing?At a vehicle show, there's generally an inverse relationship in between the dimension of a crowd gathered around a vehicle and that car's mileage figures. But there was growing proof that people want much more choices than a small vehicle that gets 23 miles per gallon along with a planet-warming, soil-eroding, diet-breaking, widow-making SUV that gets 15. Accurate, crowds climbed all more than Ford's biggest trucks, but there were sizeable gatherings around vehicles like the Mini Cooper (also known as Austin Powers' new spy vehicle within the upcoming sequel) and also the Believe, an electrical vehicle that was component of a well-hidden New York Energy Authority display within the back corner of the basement. Whilst my inner man joined a group of hooligan teenagers by kicking the Think's plastic fenders and ridiculing it by saying, Look at the toy vehicle, daddy! my inner geek began obtaining weak at the knees. Certain, the Think can't go faster than 56 mph, but it can go 50 miles in between charges-perfect for the every day commuter. And it emits no tailpipe exhaust--perfect for your individuals driving behind the every day commuter.Ok, so begin the hate mail again, America. My outer geek continues to be calling the shots.good-looking cheap air jordan fly wade.