why?
so ive been thinking latley. Thinking about everything and everyone. Wondering why? what happened to the person i use to be. What happened to that girl who never gave a fuck about anything. Didnt care about boyfriends. What happened to her? Where did she go. The one who promised she would never leave her friends behind, the one who promised so many she would always be there? Why do i have to change. Why cant i still be who i use to be. I miss my old friends. I miss my old life. I miss being myself all the time and not caring what others think. I miss being me. My sisters are both pregnant and are going to be moms. I use to be so close to both of them. THey both had a special place in my heart and i told them that i wass always there for them. But neither of them ask me about their pregnancy or anything. Im probably not even going to be apart of their childs life. I dont know. I just miss my old life and old friends. But i love my friends now to. They all are so different from who i use to be. But when i sit down and think about it i dont think im truely happy. I always have a part of me that feels incomplete. And lost. In ways i just know anymore. My friends are great but i know most of them are only my friends because im dating kevin. But i might not be dating kevin forever. And that makes them pretty unreliable. So i dont know. Most of my friends graduate this year. Its good for them but a bummer for me. Im going to be pretty lost next year. But i know ill get through it.Next year will be the tester. Kevin wont be in school anymore. so lets see if we last. I hope so. I love him. I really do. Even if i have fucked up some here and there and not giving hm enough space. But he gets space now. We never hang out. Im his last priority now...