goodbye Oregon /hug
I came to Oregon in September of 2001, only a few days before 9/11. I came out here innocent, hopeful, lonely, and ignorant of too many things.
The events of 9/11 and our government's response to those attacks changed the Navy into which I had just entered under a 9 year contract (4 years of college with military training and 5 years as a commissioned officer on active duty). I don't always understand my place in the military and this isn't the time to openly voice my political opinions. Ironically, I find myself drawing parallels between my life in the military and Angel Season 5 (which I finished only a few hours ago--farewell Buffy/Angel, oh how I've loved you). Angel 5 was all about whether or not you could continue fighting the good fight while working within the corporate machine. Angel, Spike, Wesley, Fred and Lorne all fought to maintain themselves while working within Wolfram & Hart. They wondered if they could change the machine or if it would change them. I find myself wondering the same thing. Don't go thinking I'm drawing a direct comparison between the U.S. Military and an evil lawfirm trying to bring about apocalypse. However, I do wonder if I can maintain my free spirit, light heart, generosity, and love while working within the military---especially in an era of fear, terror, and war.
The above isn't all that's rushing through my mind. Tomorrow Tovah and I move to San Diego. Oregon has brought me many things: Ballroom dance, an education that brought me outside my Middletown shell, new friends, and life experiences that will benefit everyday. I've laughed and cried, won and lost. In Oregon I watched from afar as my Mom re-married and then slowly spiraled as her husband self-destructed. I've seen my Dad rise and fall all the harder. I transformed from a confused wannabe Officer to the top of my graduating class; the leader of the leaders if you will, though I still question myself and wonder if I have what it takes. Oregon has brought me all these things. I said before that I came here innocent, hopeful, lonely, and ignorant. There's always more to learn but I would no longer call myself largely ignorant. I've come to suspect that no matter how much I make myself see and experience I'll always be a little innocent. I'm still hopeful---for a better world and a better me. However, I'm no longer lonely. Most of all Oregon brought me Tovah. She's been an intricate part of many of my experiences as an Oregonian and on the eve our first great adventure together I'm nervously excited but confident. If our lives were a television series San Diego represents a new season. I don't know what the plot arc is and who the new characters will be, but I do know Tovah will be right there with me experiencing it one episode at a time.
In closing let me share my favorite quote from the entire Buffyverse. Perhaps it is applicable, maybe it isn't, but I do believe in the meaning behind it:
"Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be, Connor. It's harsh, and cruel. But that's why there's us. Champions. It doesn't matter where we come from, what we've done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world was what it should be, to show it what it can be."
The events of 9/11 and our government's response to those attacks changed the Navy into which I had just entered under a 9 year contract (4 years of college with military training and 5 years as a commissioned officer on active duty). I don't always understand my place in the military and this isn't the time to openly voice my political opinions. Ironically, I find myself drawing parallels between my life in the military and Angel Season 5 (which I finished only a few hours ago--farewell Buffy/Angel, oh how I've loved you). Angel 5 was all about whether or not you could continue fighting the good fight while working within the corporate machine. Angel, Spike, Wesley, Fred and Lorne all fought to maintain themselves while working within Wolfram & Hart. They wondered if they could change the machine or if it would change them. I find myself wondering the same thing. Don't go thinking I'm drawing a direct comparison between the U.S. Military and an evil lawfirm trying to bring about apocalypse. However, I do wonder if I can maintain my free spirit, light heart, generosity, and love while working within the military---especially in an era of fear, terror, and war.
The above isn't all that's rushing through my mind. Tomorrow Tovah and I move to San Diego. Oregon has brought me many things: Ballroom dance, an education that brought me outside my Middletown shell, new friends, and life experiences that will benefit everyday. I've laughed and cried, won and lost. In Oregon I watched from afar as my Mom re-married and then slowly spiraled as her husband self-destructed. I've seen my Dad rise and fall all the harder. I transformed from a confused wannabe Officer to the top of my graduating class; the leader of the leaders if you will, though I still question myself and wonder if I have what it takes. Oregon has brought me all these things. I said before that I came here innocent, hopeful, lonely, and ignorant. There's always more to learn but I would no longer call myself largely ignorant. I've come to suspect that no matter how much I make myself see and experience I'll always be a little innocent. I'm still hopeful---for a better world and a better me. However, I'm no longer lonely. Most of all Oregon brought me Tovah. She's been an intricate part of many of my experiences as an Oregonian and on the eve our first great adventure together I'm nervously excited but confident. If our lives were a television series San Diego represents a new season. I don't know what the plot arc is and who the new characters will be, but I do know Tovah will be right there with me experiencing it one episode at a time.
In closing let me share my favorite quote from the entire Buffyverse. Perhaps it is applicable, maybe it isn't, but I do believe in the meaning behind it:
"Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be, Connor. It's harsh, and cruel. But that's why there's us. Champions. It doesn't matter where we come from, what we've done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world was what it should be, to show it what it can be."