The Storybook Hour, 3/8
Summary, disclaimers, notes, etc., can be found in part 1.
part 1 | part 2 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8
[ How they are genius and acquire their very own Jon Walker: ]
Brent doesn't come with them when they started traveling seriously, since he wants to go to college, so they leave him back in Nevada. Now they are somewhere in the continental U.S. they've never seen before. Spencer keeps insisting that they're in Colorado, but Brendon is sure it is Nebraska, because he remembers that it's one of those states he always forgets, like Arkansas or Vermont, but he's pretty sure they're not far enough east for either of those yet. The four of them are still all on good terms because Brent asked them to not make a big deal about his abandoning them for college, and it was Brent asking. So they write and call and talk still and Brendon has a good time scaring off the random girls that sleepily answer Brent's phone in the morning by pretending to be Brent's boyfriend. Brent complains and Brendon cheerfully replies that it is his revenge for all the times Brent did his thing on Brendon. Spencer and Ryan totally encourage this behaviour. They're maybe a bit annoyed that it's so much harder to convince people to listen to them these days, what with the severe lack of Brent and all.
They travel around the country and oh hey, look! The Academy Is... is in town and there's a show, and they should totally go! Because, Spencer, they are band and they are supposed to appreciate music as well as save the human race (Brendon and Ryan have maybe joined the Gerard Way School of Rock Music - though Spencer maybe refuses to call it that because of his one-sided feud with MyChem - which involves saving lives as much as playing music). And they're having a great time until halfway through the show when Spencer starts to get twitchy. Brendon is the first to notice, and he and Ryan drag Spencer off to the side and quiz him, trying to figure out where the alien is, since aliens are the only things that make Spencer go twitchy like that.
But all Spencer can say for sure is that it's not any of the band. They hang around after the show finishes and surreptitiously check out all the people as they leave, trying to figure out who the alien is, but no, it's not any of the crowd either (though Brendon mentions that he thinks there are at least two or three low-level empaths, and Ryan rolls his eyes and mutters something about emo kids). Which means that it's someone who works at the venue, or one of the roadies, maybe.
Alas, they waste precious time checking out the people working at the venue, so they end up grumpy and tired and feeling like this would go so much better if Brent was here, even though Brent wouldn't have been able to make much of a difference, but it is the concept of the thing. To make things worse, Brendon is pretty sure he tapped into the alien at some point and got images of bloodlust and stuff and that never leads to happy, nonviolent endings in their experience. Plus, it means that they can't just let this go, because it means that there is a dangerous alien out there, and most probably traveling around the country with TAI. It is up to Panic! to save the day!
Only at the moment they're very tired and Spencer is bitchier than normal and even Brendon is feeling grumpy, because connecting to bloodthirsty aliens always makes him queasy. They stumble back to the car and Spencer says they should sleep, but Brendon points out that then they'll never be able to catch the alien. Ryan reminds them that his awesome car is half-spaceship and they can break the sound barrier in the morning (or afternoon, or whenever they wake up tomorrow) and catch up with TAI. Spencer and Brendon agree that this sounds like a good idea (which shows just how tired Spencer is, because he's always been very strict about the whole, no we're not going to try out the alien technology that you hooked up to Belinda, Ryan, I don't care how safe you think it is).
So the boys go to sleep. They sleep in the back of the car, and okay, that's one thing that's nice about it just being three of them, because they were never really able to fit all four of them in the back of the hearse. As it is, they have to be very friendly and snuggly, which Spencer and Ryan are fine with because they're, y'know, brothers, and Brendon is totally okay with, though Spencer declared early on that Brendon isn't allowed to sleep next to Ryan under any circumstances, much to Brendon's disappointment (though Spencer is better for snuggling up to, actually, and Brendon feels guilty about thinking this). Ryan doesn't get why it's an issue as long as they get sleep. And he likes sleeping with the other guys, since it's warmer that way. And comforting.
Sometimes rearrangements happen in the middle of the night, and really there is no way this should be able to happen considering how little space there is and all, but some mornings Spencer wakes up and he's not in the middle anymore and Ryan and Brendon are all snuggled up and wrapped around each other and it's kinda disgustingly cute. He maybe carefully extricates himself on those mornings, sneaks out, and takes his turn driving while he lets them sleep in, because they are so cute that he feels sorry for Brendon and his doomed crusade.
Which is totally what Spencer is confronted with the next day when he wakes up. Brendon all snuggled up against Ryan, face buried in the crook of Ryan's neck, Ryan hugging him close. Spencer has no idea how to activate the various special features Ryan's installed on Belinda, so he decides he'll drive to someplace he can get some food, and, more importantly, coffee, and then he will start on a long day of driving. Because aww, those kids. So cute.
Spencer gets coffee, which makes him slightly less grumpy and slightly more human. Which turns out to be a good thing, because oh god, there's this guy sitting at the counter, and he has this laugh and this beard and. And. And maybe Spencer will be eating breakfast at the counter this morning and not in the car with the disgustingly cute cuddling wonders. The guy at the counter smiles at Spencer and Spencer maybe forgets that he is Spencer Smith, hardcore alien fighter, and he smiles back as he sits down. "Hi," he says, trying not to sound breathless or anything weird. "Um. Is it alright if I sit here?"
He gets another smile back! More bliss! "Go right ahead. I don't mind the company," the guy says. He drinks his coffee, and Spencer is saved from feeling awkward when the woman behind the counter asks him what he wants, and he gets busy ordering. "That's a lot of food," says the guy, raising his eyebrows, obviously impressed.
"Oh, uh. Most of it is for my brother and our friend. They're still asleep, but we've got a long day of driving ahead of us, so I figure it's better to order food for them now," Spencer mumbles.
"Road trip?" asks the guy.
"Something like that, yeah," Spencer says. He's never quite sure what to tell people when they ask him why he's traveling all over the country in a hearse with two other guys. Something tells him that saving the world would not go down well. Or be accepted by anyone other than, like... Andy. (Andy's insistence that FOB's bus be converted to vegetarianism is maybe what is funding this entire trip, since Ryan actually converted a whole slew of buses in the end, once Pete found out how much money would be saved on fuel in the long run.) "We finished school, so, uh. We're kinda seeing the world now?" And geez, what's he on? Way to go, practically straight-out telling the cute guy that he's pretty much fresh out of high school! Spencer feels like an idiot.
"Sounds awesome," says the guy. "I'm Jon, by the way."
"Spencer," he replies weakly, and is about to say something more (though, come on, if he's serious with himself he'll admit that he's getting ready to put his foot in his mouth), when suddenly there's a sleepy yawn from behind him and a warm body is plastered against his back. Someone up there obviously hates Spencer.
"G'morning, Spencer Smith. Did you get me coffee? I love you," Brendon says as he reaches down and steals Spencer's coffee and drinks the whole thing, bastard.
Spencer has to clench his teeth to keep from straight-out attacking Brendon who has totally ruined his moment. "Good morning," he grinds out. "That was my coffee. Where's Ryan?"
"Still asleep, I think. He is so cute when he is asleep, Spencer! Like a puppy, only cuter. And more poky and less cuddly, but yeah." Brendon slides into the stool next to Spencer, opposite Jon, and leans heavily on Spencer's shoulder. "I am sorry about your coffee, but it totally gave its life for a higher cause. Namely, keeping me sane. Forgive me?"
And Spencer sighs and pats Brendon's shoulder, because he does have a point. Brendon can't filter anything worth a damn when he's half-asleep, and while Spencer doesn't have the same problem as, say, Bob Bryar, where he hears Brendon's amplified rebroadcast of ever thought he picks up, he does understand that Brendon's sensitive enough that he has a really hard time keeping his head straight even when he's completely awake. Plus, Spencer really doesn't want Brendon picking up on what he's thinking right now, because, yeah. Private thoughts. "I'm letting you off with a warning," he tells Brendon finally, pushing him away and glaring. "Brendon, this is Jon. Jon, Brendon," he says before Brendon can start repeating anything and everything that happens to flit through his mind, which he has a tendency to do when he's half-awake and he isn't really filtering yet.
"Hello, Jon," Brendon says cheerfully, and Spencer is reminded yet again of the fact that it is just wrong that Brendon is a morning person when he isn't even really awake.
Jon starts to say hello back, but he's interrupted by a sound of his phone ringing. He sighs and digs it out of his pocket glancing at the screen. "Sorry, I have to take this," he tells them even as he presses a button to answer. Spencer's food comes while Jon argues with the person on the other end of the line, and he pushes a plate of waffles smothered in whipped cream and strawberries at Brendon, who promptly gives Spencer a look that promises all sorts of lovely things in his future.
"So," Brendon asks Spencer quietly to between bites of waffle, "are we really going to fire up the jets today? That'd be so awesome."
"Only if we have to," Spencer says reluctantly, clutching his refilled mug to his chest and growling softly whenever Brendon moves too close. "You didn't have to live through the first three engines Ryan built when we got the car. I, on the other hand, still have nightmares."
Brendon concedes that Spencer may have a point, though he pouts as he does so and it's obvious that he's not going to be pleased until Spencer says straight out that yeah, they can try some of the more interesting features Ryan's added to Black Belinda. Next to him, Jon finally finishes his call. "Hey, I, uh. Have to go," he says, a genuine look of apology in his face as he slides of the stool and onto his feet, already digging out his wallet to settle his bill. "There's apparently been some kind of emergency and- Yeah, kinda needed to be there thirty minutes ago. It was really great meeting you, Spencer, Brendon." He slaps some bills on the counter and is practically running out the door, and Spencer is sighing even though he knew nothing could've happened. He thinks he still deserves to sigh, though, because they're in the middle of Nebraska, or something, and it isn't as if he'll ever see Jon again. More specifically, it isn't as if he'll ever get to see Jon's awesome smile again, which is really a shame.
Movement to Spencer's left causes his head to whip around, and Brendon has this smile on his face that just makes Spencer's blood boil. "What?" he snaps, glaring.
"Nothing," Brendon says cheerfully. Spencer totally doesn't trust that cheerfulness. Cheerful may be Brendon's default natural state, but there are totally different degrees of cheerful and this one is a dangerous one. It's the one that means Brendon's up to something. Brendon cocks his head to the side. "Ryan's up. We should get him tea."
"I know you're up to something," Spencer says, still suspicious. "I don't know why I ever let you stay when Brent brought you over."
"Because I'm cute and adorable!"
"No, I'm sure it wasn't that."
Ryan shows up and they feed him toast and tea (because Ryan has this thing where he really, really loves tea but omg, can't stand coffee; no one really gets it) and he mumbles and isn't really processing anything at the moment, but Brendon has a good time patting him on the head and helping him with his food. Getting Ryan functional in the morning used to be Spencer's job, but he pretty much lets Brendon do it all the time these days, because Spencer Smith is secretly a big softy at heart, and Brendon is just so happy and eager to help. Ryan says various incomprehensible mumbles and half-leans against Brendon, who easily answers all his mumbles, because he totally knows what Ryan's asking (psychic skillz ftw!), which is good because otherwise Ryan might continue to spend his morning worrying about chartreuse zombie giraffes.
Between them both, they manage to get Ryan able and working and head out on their mission to save TAI. And, y'know, other bands that happen to be touring with them, though Spencer kinda feels that they're not as important. It's like.... natural selection, right? The strong bands survive, the weak ones were never going to make it anyway. Brendon and Ryan maybe don't feel this is an appropriate comment and get upset and remind Spencer that this is about saving lives. Ryan, having finally woken up enough to process things, also reminds Spencer that he said they could try out the jets today. Spencer is starting to really regret having made that promise.
They pile into the car, with Spencer at the wheel even though Brendon's probably more awake and aware by this point. But Brendon is still not allowed to drive the car except if it's a life or death situation. And even then he's only allowed to drive in certain very specific life or death situations, all of which are enumerated on the list Ryan drew up after the first (and so far only) time Brendon got to drive the hearse. Ryan is fond of Brendon, but Brendon is not his baby and Belinda is.
Spencer is all set to turn the key in the ignition when he stops. "Guys," he says slowly, "where are we going again?"
"We're following The Academy Is...!" Brendon says, bouncing and eager to go. Spencer is reminded why he usually slips Brendon decaf (he finds that it has a total placebo effect and actually works just as well as regular coffee when it comes to waking Brendon up, only causes no terrifying fits of increased hyperactivity).
"...oh," says Ryan, and Spencer can see that at least Ryan's realized the problem, even if Brendon hasn't. "Shit. Didn't anyone think to get the tour schedule last night?"
No one did, of course, because they're just not that organized. They're a bunch of teenagers traveling at random to take on aliens - no one who does this kind of thing is ever really organized. In fact, they're lucky they have a car that doesn't require gas, since they've ended up running out of fuel twice now, because no one thought to pay any attention to the fuel gage (Belinda just gets such great mileage that none of them are really used to refilling her more than once every four months or so when they're just driving her around town).
(Sometimes when they get into trouble they call Andy and beg for him to bail them out, because they can't call their parents. Even though they're technically adults, it's their parents, and Mr. and Mrs. Smith are both upset that neither of their boys ended up going to college. Brendon doesn't talk about his parents much, and neither Smith asks him about them. Sometimes one or more of Brendon's sisters will call for him on Ryan or Spencer's phone, but that's it, really. Andy, on the other hand, is slightly older than them, and definitely more experienced with this whole traveling all over thing, and he totally loves Ryan for his wonderful veggie engine. And the fact that they are saving the world. He sometimes says it's too bad they never made it as a band, and Panic! just shrugs, because what they're doing now is more important than the music. Not everyone can be Gerard Way and make it big in music and save lives at the same time.)
Brendon stops bouncing and frowns. "Well. Can't I just-" His eyes suddenly go out of focus, and he makes a sort of choking noise before pulling himself back together and shaking his head a lot. "Okay. That was not the smartest thing to try, I think," he says in a strangled voice, and Spencer assumes Brendon unshielded completely and tried to pick out TAI, which, yeah, was pretty stupid. There're a lot of minds out there, after all, Brendon's never been particularly good at filtering and searching.
In the passenger seat Ryan sighs and rolls his eyes. He turns around and pulls his laptop out from underneath the backseat, opening it in his lap. "You're useless, Urie," he mutters as he opens his web browser and calls up Google. A few minutes later he has the tour schedule and Spencer's turning onto the highway. Spencer has yet to figure out how Ryan is managing to get internet in the car while they're on the road, because he knows they can't be tapping in to some random stranger's network all the time, it just wouldn't last. He doesn't ask, though, because he finds he generally doesn't want to know how Ryan's doohickies work.
They drive most of the day, changing drivers around lunch time, and actually manage to catch up with with the caravan of busses before too long. Unfortunately, it's not like they can just walk over and say, Hi, we've reason to believe there's a murderous alien in your midst and we're just going to wander around with our telepath and our alien detector and take care of that for you.
Well, actually. That's totally what Ryan and Brendon plan on doing, but Spencer is a bit more on top of things, luckily, and says no, that just won't work, because they'll just assume they're nuts and call the cops. After all, remember the time they met Bob Bryar? He totally didn't believe them about the aliens, even when Brent told him, and everyone knows that if Brent accepts it as fact, it probably pretty much is, since Brent's the eternal skeptic and all. This news makes Brendon and Ryan all mopey, but Spencer is not going to cave, because he has to be the voice of reason now that they don't have Brent to point out these kinds of things, and dammit, he's going to be reasonable about things.
Ryan grumbles and points out that it is too bad FOB isn't along on this tour, because they would totally be down with Panic! flushing out a murderous alien. Pete Wentz is awesome like that. Spencer rolls his eyes and says actually, Andy's the one who's been super awesome about all them trying to save the world and he suspects Wentz just wants into Ryan's pants. Ryan gets all pissy and upset about this, because Spencer has just insulted Pete Wentz, and yeah, Spencer is his brother and his best friend, but he doesn't know if he can really forgive Spencer for that. This is the point where Spencer points out that he controls the cash on this jolly romp across the country, and if Ryan plans to eat dinner tonight, he'll have to bow to Spencer's superior power. It is with great reluctance that Ryan agrees to let Spencer's slight on Pete Wentz go.
Brendon pipes up and points out that they still have no way to get at said murderous alien, let alone any idea what it looks like, and it's generally decided that it would be a much better idea to concentrate on, y'know, saving lives instead of bickering. Because they are Mature Adults, yes.
The Smiths know when it is time to let it go and shut up, and Brendon claiming to be a Mature Adult is definitely one of those times, so they do. After some general discussion, it is finally decided that their best bet would probably be to see about going to the show tonight and seeing if they can't ID the alien. And thus begins the very brief period of time during which Panic! kinda acts like TAI's groupies. Sorta. In a weird and not-really kinda way. (They have a mission! They're not doing it for fun! Really!)
After about two or three days of this, they happen to pull into a gas station to obtain snack items for Brendon in an effort to fill his mouth and thus provide some relief from his seemingly endless repertoire of Disney songs. (Spencer is infinitely glad that Brendon's mother drummed manners into him, thus ensuring that they will never have to worry about Brendon talking with his mouth full). As it turns out, they are not the only ones who think doing a snack run is a good idea - the busses stop as well. Not that Panic! is going to do anything like try to follow anyone who happens to come out the busses, because that would look weird and stalkery, yes, trust me, Ryan, I am the voice of reason and I know what I'm talking about.
Apparently TAI does not possess a voice of reason, though, since when Panic! gets back to Black Belinda, they find William Beckett sorta draped across her and the Butcher and Adam Siska totally checking out their ride.
"Uh," Ryan says and he is not at all panicking or having a fanboy freakout moment or anything, because he is totally cool and collected, okay? "That's our car."
William sits up and pulls down his sunglasses a little to look at them. "Hi," he says brightly, "we like your car. It's pretty."
Ryan splutters, because Black Belinda is not "pretty." But it is William Beckett who is calling her pretty, and Ryan thinks that might be okay. Only he isn't sure. And. And this is rather confusing and hard for him. This isn't like when they met FOB, because that was on their own terms, or like when they met Bob Bryar, because that was on their own turf, and plus Bob was threatening Brendon, which was just. Yeah.
Luckily, Brendon rarely falls victim to fanboy freakouts (that time with Bob Bryar was totally a special exception because Bob was big and scary and glaring him), and he bounces forward. "Ryan fixed her up! He's good with machines and things. He built the engine and added the rockets and put in the flux capacitor and the stealth mode."
The Butcher perks up. "Dude. You have a flux capacitor?"
"Brendon's joking," Spencer says, glaring pointedly at Brendon, because hello, they are just three regular guys, remember Brendon? "No flux capacitor, no stealth mode. It's just a car." But Siska's already circled around to the back of the hearse and is kneeling down, pointing out the jets to the Butcher, and Spencer sighs.
"You guys fans?" Siska asks, attention still totally focused on the car. "See, normally I wouldn't assume that random people like you three were anything less than normal, except Bill swears he saw your car at the last two gigs."
"I like pretty things," William says cheerfully.
"We're not stalkers," Spencer says quickly, because yeah, a bunch of guys following bands around looks a lot like stalking. Or like they're groupies, which is even worse than stalkers in Spencer's mind.
Ryan scratches the side of his nose, thinks for a moment, then says, "I built the engine in your bus. I think it needs a tune-up - seems to be lagging behind. Didn't get the adjustments on the carbon drive right when I scaled it up from the one in Belinda," and Spencer feels like he could kiss Ryan if he wasn't, y'know, his brother.
"You didn't build the engine," William says, but there's no cruelty in his voice. "Nobody just builds engines. Machines build engines."
"Ryan builds engines," Brendon shoots back. "Vegetarian engines. Andy says he's full of awesome." Brendon kinda thinks Andy is fabulous, because Andy is a vegan alien and everything.
This sparks a long argument about whether vegetarian engines are even possible, and whether they can actually be called vegetarian engines or if would be better to just call it an alternate-fuel based car. And if you can get a tax write-off for them like you can with an electric or hybrid car.
Brendon is perhaps not the best person to be arguing these things with, of course, because he knows very little about how taxes work, exactly, and even less about mechanics. They try to involve Ryan, only Ryan always depends on Spencer or their parents when it comes to taxes, so he knows even less about them, and he doesn't look at building engines as mechanics, so he's no use when it comes to that either. Finally Brendon gets frustrated enough that he declares the need for an impartial third party, which means he steals Ryan's phone and calls Andy.
This turns out to be just the thing to do, because Andy insists on talking to Spencer, since Spencer is the level-headed one and less prone to childish hysterics (mostly, as long as it doesn't involve the last chocolate cookie or pretty much any threat to Ryan). Spencer has the sense of mind to explain to Andy that they're trying to check up on something in the tour caravan, only Ryan's awesome skills are being doubted, and come on Andy, help them save the world. Please?
Andy sighs and asks Spencer why he doesn't just tell TAI that they've tracked a probably-hostile alien to the tour? (They've never had to develop any kind of secret code in order to discuss their activities with Andy, he just always understands what Panic! isn't saying when they call all, um, panicked. Brendon thinks Andy's psychic, Ryan thinks he's a genius, and Spencer happens to know for a fact that Andy puts the phone on speaker so Patrick can listen in and translate what isn't being said. Spencer isn't sure what this says about Patrick.) Spencer explains that it's bad enough TAI seems to think they're groupies, they don't need TAI thinking that they're alien conspiracy freaks also. At which point Andy observes that, in his experience, the conspiracy theorists aren't nearly as crazy as the groupies.
Spencer tells him this is not reassuring in the least, then asks to speak to Patrick, because he knows Patrick will be sane and reasonable. Once he's sure he's got Patrick and not Pete pretending to be Patrick just to be obnoxious (which has happened to Spencer more times than he can count), he hands the phone t Siska. "Here, you two sort it out like responsible adults," and oh god, he can't believe he just said that. Honestly, why is that the babies in these bands are always the most responsible ones? It doesn't make sense. He thinks it's a good thing he's older than Ryan, or else he'd start to seriously doubt the ways of the universe.
Five minutes on the phone with Patrick apparently smoothes things out enough that Siska is willing to believe Panic! (and Spencer makes a mental note to send Patrick something really nice as a thank you, because honestly - the guy has to put up with Andy's alieness and Pete Wentz, he shouldn't have to be bailing out some guys he only vaguely knows), and they make arrangements for Ryan to look over the engine when they stop that evening. Spencer raises his eyebrows at Ryan, and their brotherly psychic link must be working really well today or Brendon's helping out and relaying Spencer's mental messages, because Ryan says it might take a few days to get everything ship-shape again, and that he should probably look at the other engines as well, if that's alright. Wouldn't want anyone to be stranded in the middle of nowhere after all. Siska agrees that this is a good point, and takes Ryan off to talk to someone even more responsible and a lot more in charge of things.
It isn't until Spencer's pushing William Beckett out of the way and stowing the food they bought that it occurs to him that they just became roadies. For the busses. He thinks there's probably something wrong with that, but he can't pinpoint exactly what.
On their second day with the bands, Ryan heads off to tackle engines, his eyes sparkling and a grin plastered across his face as he thumbs the switch on the all-purpose tool he cobbled together together their senior year. He tried to explain it to Spencer once, and all Spencer really caught was that it was like a Swiss army knife, only instead of having three different blades, a screwdriver, and a pair of scissors, it can create any sort of blade or tool out of pure sound, and opens things by causing the air around them to vibrate at a conflicting frequency. Ryan calls it his sonic leatherman and has declared that Brendon is not allowed to touch it. Spencer can see the way Brendon's fingers twitch every time Ryan takes it out, and he doesn't like that one bit.
Since Ryan is busy with their cover story, Spencer tells Brendon to check out those people over there, far away from where Ryan and his sonic-whatever are, while he checks out TAI's roadies for possible aliens. "We're only looking for dangerous aliens, remember," Spencer warns Brendon. "If they aren't hurting anyone, don't bother them. Don't draw attention to yourself. Do your stealth thing." Brendon rolls his eyes and says he knows, Spencer, you don't have to tell me this stuff, but he's smiling as he says it, so Spencer isn't too worried about him. Having done his bit to try and keep Brendon out of trouble, Spencer heads off to check out TAI's crew.
He does not expect the SuperSoaker, and for a moment he freaks and thinks oh shit, corrosive acid, the alien's got me. But then he realizes that no, it's not acid. But someone has just managed to drench his shirt with some sort of green liquid. Spencer counts to ten and tries to stay calm. Then he sees that it's gotten on his shoes - his formerly pristine, white shoes - and his vision turns red and he can no longer remember why he should to be calm, because dammit, this is war.
"Oh, hey. Jack, you lied, that's not B-" The guy doesn't manage to finish because Spencer is already on top of him and has his fingers wrapped around his neck and so going to strangle him because, dammit, his shoes. Someone - two someones, actually - pull him off, even though Spencer is vicious and tenacious like a small, nasty, biting thing, only not so small. "Hey, it's okay, it's completely water soluble, no worries oh my god, Spencer?" says the guy holding the SuperSoaker and Spencer stares because, oh shit, it's Jon of the awesome smile and he might've just ruined Spencer's shirt and shoes and oh no, Spencer thinks he might be having a crisis of faith.
Part of him wants to do something that will allow him to see Jon's smile again, part of him is screaming for blood as repayment for his damaged clothes, and a tiny sliver of him, trampled and exhausted and hiding somewhere at the back of his mind, is struggling to remind him that he is on a Mission, and that Missions come before shoes and hormones. Spencer hates his conscience sometimes, but this is not one of those times, because it gives him direction and purpose! And also, listening to it will totally help him not act like a completely idiot in front of Jon, not that he cares what Jon thinks of him, since Jon has tarnished the sanctity of his shoes. This decided, Spencer stops struggling against Jon's fellow roadies and stands up straight. "Hey... Jon, wasn't it," he says as casually as he can, because Spencer Smith is totally casual and hasn't spent the past five days thinking about Jon's smile. "Didn't expect to see you here."
It doesn't take long to explain to the other guys how it is that Jon and Spencer know each other ("We met in a diner, right before they found the- You know. Almost a week ago, yeah," Jon says, and the roadies all share this look which is definitely not a good one and Spencer wishes he had Brendon here, because Spencer would kinda really love to know what they're thinking). Spencer explains about Ryan and his vegetarian engines, and makes up some stuff about how he's with Ryan to act as a second driver and how Brendon is there because they literally could not leave him behind, as he's practically surgically attached himself to the Smith brothers. Spencer is rather glad to discover that TAI's crew is 100% human, and is thinking it might be time to go and check in with Brendon when Jon asks him if he wants to go get coffee.
"I mean, if you're not busy or anything," Jon says. "And I don't mind waiting if you want to change or anything like that," and nnngh, why does Jon have to be so sweet??
But Spencer is strong and just gives Jon a stony look rather than melting. He is so good. "I have work to do. Sorry," though he totally makes it sound like he isn't sorry at all. He's very proud of himself.
Thus, Spencer escapes the cunning and nefarious clutches of Jon. Because Jon is totally cunning and nefarious, really, just look at those flip-flops. Cunning! Nefarious! Spencer looks for Brendon, in fact goes over and chats with the guys he told Brendon to talk to (no aliens there, thankfully), but they say they haven't spoken to or even seen Brendon, sorry. This causes Spencer to worry enough that he momentarily forgets about Jon, because Jon may have an awesome smile and nefarious flip-flops, but Brendon is his bandmate. Well, okay, they're not exactly a band anymore, so he's more a teammate, but it's the thought that counts. Spencer goes to find Ryan, because usually if Brendon isn't where he's supposed to be it's because he's busy trying to get Ryan to notice him.
Yes, those are Ryan's legs sticking out of the back of the bus, and yep, that's a second pair of legs there, so Spencer's found Ryan and... and Jon, dammit. Spencer would recognize those flip-flops anywhere. Jon is obviously insidious as well as cunning and nefarious. He stomps over and clears his throat, then waits for the other two emerge from the engine. Jon smiles and starts to say how Ryan's explaining the carbon conversion process to him, but Spencer is strong and doesn't look at Jon, focusing instead on Ryan. "Ryan, we have a problem. Brendon's missing."
Ryan shrugs. "Brendon can take care of himself." There is very little that can distract Ryan when he's in the mood to mess around with grease and fiddly little bits of metal.
Spencer sighs. "He was supposed to be working on things, and he didn't even get started on them. I think he went off on his own again. Like that time with the cheer coach." Why the hell Jon is still here? Doesn't the guy get that he isn't wanted? Geez.
As soon as Spencer mentions the cheer coach, Ryan's eyes lose their dazed quality and turn attentive. "Shit. Yeah, we have a problem. You think he saw something?"
"Seems likely," Spencer says with a nod.
Ryan groans. If they get Brendon killed, Brent is never going to let them live it down. He always gets pissed if (when) they mess up the stuff he finds for them. "Look, Jon, sorry but I gotta go take care of this," Ryan says, his tone apologetic. Spencer's eyes narrow. Jon and Ryan just met, there is no reason why Ryan should sound apologetic. Can't Ryan see that Jon is dangerous and untrustworthy?
"You guys want any help finding your friend?" Jon asks, and he looks genuinely concerned. "I mean, there're a lot of places he could've ended up, and you're not exactly familiar with the setup around here yet, right?" Spencer's eyes narrow some more. Jon looks awfully twitchy. Is he covering up for the murderous alien? It seems likely.
"Sure," Spencer says, not looking at Jon. "You check those places, Ryan and I'll check everywhere else." Because there is no way he is going to let Jon lure him to someplace where no one will ever hear him scream. He isn't stupid.
Ryan's looking at him oddly, and as soon as Jon is gone he demands Spencer tell him why he's so being such a jerk. "Jon's pretty awesome, Spencer. He actually gets carbon conversion! Only Andy's ever understood it before, you know." Spencer does know. Ryan would not shut up about it when he first discovered that little tidbit.
"I have reason to believe he's in league with the alien," Spencer says icily.
"Really, what kind of reason?"
"He smiles too much. Also, flip-flops. It's the middle of October, no one in their right minds wears flip-flops in this kind of weather at this time of year. He's suspicious."
"...I thought you told Andy you didn't want people to think we're conspiracy theorists?" Ryan says skeptically.
Spencer is about to say something scathingly brilliant in reply, because he is always scathingly brilliant, when when they hear the scream.
Which, okay, they pretty much expected to hear it, because usually when Brendon goes off on his own it's only a matter of time before the scream's heard. Ryan and Spencer have tried over and over again to get Brendon to understand that his supposedly awesome war cry sounds like a girl screaming, but Brendon just won't listen. That or he totally realizes it and just continues to do it because he knows it'll piss off the Smiths. Spencer suspects the latter. Brendon can be kinda demonic at times.
"We have got him to stop doing that," Spencer says as they race to Brendon's rescue. Which, okay, to be fair Brendon's gotten better since that time with the cheer coach, and really none of them knew what they were doing then, so, yeah. As long as he hasn't been distracted by something shiny or anything like that, Brendon's probably fine and holding is own. "You can write a song for him or something."
"He's not allowed to sing my songs," Ryan mutters. "He'd try to make them happy and about unicorns and rainbows like Stacey did. But yeah, the screaming has to stop."
The creepy thing is that right then the screaming does stop. The Smiths share a glance and immediately speed up. There's very little that shuts up Brendon once he starts his war cry. Not even victory does it, since once he wins he just starts on one of his victory songs. They've nice melodies, Spencer admits, but they need better words. Stupid Brendon and his stupid victory songs.
Whatever Ryan and Spencer are expecting to find when they eventually reach Brendon, it certainly isn't Brendon and Jon held up against a wall by giant tentacles wrapped around their necks, their faces kinda starting to turn blue. The tentacles are coming out of the mouth of a dull looking guy who Spencer thinks he's seen around but hasn't really gotten close to. Spencer doesn't even stop to take a moment to think things through, he just turns to Ryan, grabs his sonic-whatsit and demands to know what frequency will turn calamari in puree. He dials it in, enables the timer feature, and throws it at the alien's neck. Years of throwing drumsticks at first his sisters and later Brendon have given Spencer wicked aim, and he gets it on first shot. The alien explodes into blue goo, and Jon and Brendon hit the ground when they're released. The severed tentacles flop about uselessly on the ground a few times before going absolutely still.
Somehow Ryan's still pristine despite the fact that everything else is bright blue, and yeah, okay, Spencer has to admit that between the food coloring and the goo, his own clothes are totally shot. Ryan makes his way over to where the alien was standing and retrieves his gadget, then hauls Brendon to his feet and proceeds to bawl him out for acting stupid. Spencer smirks. Usually Ryan only does yells at Brendon like that when he's seriously freaking out because Brendon's gone nearly gotten himself killed. It's kinda cute.
Absently wiping goo from his face, Spencer glances around at the mess. There's no way they can possibly clean this all up. Might as well leave it like Andy always wants them to. He sighs. He wants a shower. This has not been his day.
"Hey, so. Demons?" asks a voice right beside him and shit, Spencer nearly jumps out of his skin. He turns and glares at Jon.
"Aliens," he snaps. "We take care of harmful aliens. I think this one was eating groupies, though I'm not positive, you'd have to ask Brendon to be sure."
"That would explain the desiccated bodies we've been finding near the venues for the past few months," Jon says, nodding thoughtfully. "Bill kept insisting we were being stalked by a vampire. I think he said he was going to ask Gerard Way to come in if it happened again."
"Gerard Way doesn't know shit about aliens," Spencer says snidely, which, okay, maybe isn't completely fair, since he's never actually met the man. He just hasn't exactly had much of a soft spot for MyChem ever since their drummer threatened to maim Brendon.
Jon laughs. "Ouch, harsh."
Spencer is, perhaps, a bit shorter with Jon than he actually means to be, because yeah, the guy just nearly got killed trying to help them, and he's probably not actually nefarious or evil or anything, but Spencer is also stressed and freaked out because Brendon is kinda like his second little brother and he was seriously scared Brendon and Jon were going to die because usually they have the car and this time they didn't and he had to just improvise. He totally didn't think that whole thing with Ryan's sonic-something would work as well as it did.
Luckily, Jon seems to realize all this, and gives him a hug, which is maybe exactly what Spencer needs right now. "Hey. Thanks for saving my life."
Gulping, Spencer sniffs, because he's allergic to alien goo and it's making his eyes water, really - Spencer Smith totally does not cry. "You're still not forgiven for turning me green," he says.
Jon is of course not appeased by Spencer's simple, straightforward explanation that they take care of aliens, so Spencer takes him up on his offer of coffee once they've had a chance to shower (this is managed by showing up at TAI's bus and Jon cheerfully telling Bill that the vampire's been taken care of and they'll be stealing his shower now). Spencer makes Brendon stop retelling horror stories of past encounters long enough to clean up as well. Then he drags both Ryan and Brendon along on the coffee expedition (just in case Jon actually is nefarious, not because he's still shaky or anything).
"We're actually a band," Spencer explains once he has caffeine that he has not paid for (apparently saving someone's life earns you free coffee, who knew). "We just moonlight as alien troubleshooters because Brendon's too curious and Ryan has a saving people thing."
"And our bassist kinda left us," Brendon pipes up. Spencer and Ryan glare at him, because Brent hasn't left, he just... decided to go to college and get a degree so he could get an actual paying job someday. Okay, yeah. Brent totally sold out on them.
"That's so cool," Jon says, his eyes bright and eager. "You guys are like My Chemical Romance - playing music and saving lives."
Spencer growls loudly. Ryan pats his hand and explains to Jon, "Spencer has issues with My Chem. Their drummer tried to kill Brendon once."
"We are so much better than those posers," Spencer grumbles. "Our gear's better, our music's better, our psychic's better, and we're actually saving the world." Though, granted, it's more through Ryan's awesome, eco-friendly engines than because they take care of hostile aliens, but yeah. Totally better than My Chem.
They end up staying with the tour for another week while Ryan works on the engines in all the busses until they meet his standards. He maybe adds in a few extra features, though Spencer expressly forbids him from telling anyone how to turn on the turbo drive. Spencer is such a killjoy sometimes.
Around the time they're ready to finally part ways and get on with their random wanderings across backcountry America, Jon's waiting with coffee when Spencer sleepily climbs out of the hearse one morning. The sight is actually not an unfamiliar one - Jon's been giving him coffee ever since the whole alien thing, and Spencer isn't about to complain or turn it down. He makes grabby hands towards the cup and happily inhales half of it straight off.
"So," Jon says, glancing down at the ground. "I suppose you're going to go back to alien hunting now, huh? Since Ryan's done with the busses."
"Mmmyup," Spencer says, still in his happy, early morning coffee coma.
"And hey, I was thinking. It's. I play bass," Jon sort of blurts out. "If you guys still need a bassist. Since I bet you'd be an awesome band, if you had the people."
Suddenly Brendon and Ryan are sticking their heads out the back of the car, looking way too alert for this time of day. "You play bass?" Ryan asks at the same time that Brendon says, a little breathlessly, "Jonny Walker, are you propositioning us?" Brendon sounds absolutely delighted at the prospect. Spencer kind of wants to kill him. No, kill them both.
"Yeah. Yeah, I am," Jon says and then, oh god, he smiles. Dammit, dammit, that's not fair. He shouldn't be allowed to do that. No Jon smiles before Spencer's finished his first cup of coffee.
"I say we take him," Brendon tells Ryan very seriously. "If he's worse than Brent, he can be our back-up bassist. Or play rhythm guitar."
"We don't need a rhythm guitarist," Ryan argues. "If Brent's better, Jon can be our roadie. That okay with you, Jon?"
Jon nods and grins and Spencer glares at them all and drinks the rest of his coffee, because it's become very clear to him that he has absolutely no say in this at all. He hates Brendon and Ryan and most of all Jon. There is absolutely no way he is going to be happy about this situation. "Here," says Jon, taking his empty cup and handing him another full one.
Spencer stares down at the cup, takes a sip, then considers. "Well," he says finally after several minutes, "I guess we can keep him. He makes good coffee, if nothing else."
part 1 | part 2 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8
part 1 | part 2 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8
[ How they are genius and acquire their very own Jon Walker: ]
Brent doesn't come with them when they started traveling seriously, since he wants to go to college, so they leave him back in Nevada. Now they are somewhere in the continental U.S. they've never seen before. Spencer keeps insisting that they're in Colorado, but Brendon is sure it is Nebraska, because he remembers that it's one of those states he always forgets, like Arkansas or Vermont, but he's pretty sure they're not far enough east for either of those yet. The four of them are still all on good terms because Brent asked them to not make a big deal about his abandoning them for college, and it was Brent asking. So they write and call and talk still and Brendon has a good time scaring off the random girls that sleepily answer Brent's phone in the morning by pretending to be Brent's boyfriend. Brent complains and Brendon cheerfully replies that it is his revenge for all the times Brent did his thing on Brendon. Spencer and Ryan totally encourage this behaviour. They're maybe a bit annoyed that it's so much harder to convince people to listen to them these days, what with the severe lack of Brent and all.
They travel around the country and oh hey, look! The Academy Is... is in town and there's a show, and they should totally go! Because, Spencer, they are band and they are supposed to appreciate music as well as save the human race (Brendon and Ryan have maybe joined the Gerard Way School of Rock Music - though Spencer maybe refuses to call it that because of his one-sided feud with MyChem - which involves saving lives as much as playing music). And they're having a great time until halfway through the show when Spencer starts to get twitchy. Brendon is the first to notice, and he and Ryan drag Spencer off to the side and quiz him, trying to figure out where the alien is, since aliens are the only things that make Spencer go twitchy like that.
But all Spencer can say for sure is that it's not any of the band. They hang around after the show finishes and surreptitiously check out all the people as they leave, trying to figure out who the alien is, but no, it's not any of the crowd either (though Brendon mentions that he thinks there are at least two or three low-level empaths, and Ryan rolls his eyes and mutters something about emo kids). Which means that it's someone who works at the venue, or one of the roadies, maybe.
Alas, they waste precious time checking out the people working at the venue, so they end up grumpy and tired and feeling like this would go so much better if Brent was here, even though Brent wouldn't have been able to make much of a difference, but it is the concept of the thing. To make things worse, Brendon is pretty sure he tapped into the alien at some point and got images of bloodlust and stuff and that never leads to happy, nonviolent endings in their experience. Plus, it means that they can't just let this go, because it means that there is a dangerous alien out there, and most probably traveling around the country with TAI. It is up to Panic! to save the day!
Only at the moment they're very tired and Spencer is bitchier than normal and even Brendon is feeling grumpy, because connecting to bloodthirsty aliens always makes him queasy. They stumble back to the car and Spencer says they should sleep, but Brendon points out that then they'll never be able to catch the alien. Ryan reminds them that his awesome car is half-spaceship and they can break the sound barrier in the morning (or afternoon, or whenever they wake up tomorrow) and catch up with TAI. Spencer and Brendon agree that this sounds like a good idea (which shows just how tired Spencer is, because he's always been very strict about the whole, no we're not going to try out the alien technology that you hooked up to Belinda, Ryan, I don't care how safe you think it is).
So the boys go to sleep. They sleep in the back of the car, and okay, that's one thing that's nice about it just being three of them, because they were never really able to fit all four of them in the back of the hearse. As it is, they have to be very friendly and snuggly, which Spencer and Ryan are fine with because they're, y'know, brothers, and Brendon is totally okay with, though Spencer declared early on that Brendon isn't allowed to sleep next to Ryan under any circumstances, much to Brendon's disappointment (though Spencer is better for snuggling up to, actually, and Brendon feels guilty about thinking this). Ryan doesn't get why it's an issue as long as they get sleep. And he likes sleeping with the other guys, since it's warmer that way. And comforting.
Sometimes rearrangements happen in the middle of the night, and really there is no way this should be able to happen considering how little space there is and all, but some mornings Spencer wakes up and he's not in the middle anymore and Ryan and Brendon are all snuggled up and wrapped around each other and it's kinda disgustingly cute. He maybe carefully extricates himself on those mornings, sneaks out, and takes his turn driving while he lets them sleep in, because they are so cute that he feels sorry for Brendon and his doomed crusade.
Which is totally what Spencer is confronted with the next day when he wakes up. Brendon all snuggled up against Ryan, face buried in the crook of Ryan's neck, Ryan hugging him close. Spencer has no idea how to activate the various special features Ryan's installed on Belinda, so he decides he'll drive to someplace he can get some food, and, more importantly, coffee, and then he will start on a long day of driving. Because aww, those kids. So cute.
Spencer gets coffee, which makes him slightly less grumpy and slightly more human. Which turns out to be a good thing, because oh god, there's this guy sitting at the counter, and he has this laugh and this beard and. And. And maybe Spencer will be eating breakfast at the counter this morning and not in the car with the disgustingly cute cuddling wonders. The guy at the counter smiles at Spencer and Spencer maybe forgets that he is Spencer Smith, hardcore alien fighter, and he smiles back as he sits down. "Hi," he says, trying not to sound breathless or anything weird. "Um. Is it alright if I sit here?"
He gets another smile back! More bliss! "Go right ahead. I don't mind the company," the guy says. He drinks his coffee, and Spencer is saved from feeling awkward when the woman behind the counter asks him what he wants, and he gets busy ordering. "That's a lot of food," says the guy, raising his eyebrows, obviously impressed.
"Oh, uh. Most of it is for my brother and our friend. They're still asleep, but we've got a long day of driving ahead of us, so I figure it's better to order food for them now," Spencer mumbles.
"Road trip?" asks the guy.
"Something like that, yeah," Spencer says. He's never quite sure what to tell people when they ask him why he's traveling all over the country in a hearse with two other guys. Something tells him that saving the world would not go down well. Or be accepted by anyone other than, like... Andy. (Andy's insistence that FOB's bus be converted to vegetarianism is maybe what is funding this entire trip, since Ryan actually converted a whole slew of buses in the end, once Pete found out how much money would be saved on fuel in the long run.) "We finished school, so, uh. We're kinda seeing the world now?" And geez, what's he on? Way to go, practically straight-out telling the cute guy that he's pretty much fresh out of high school! Spencer feels like an idiot.
"Sounds awesome," says the guy. "I'm Jon, by the way."
"Spencer," he replies weakly, and is about to say something more (though, come on, if he's serious with himself he'll admit that he's getting ready to put his foot in his mouth), when suddenly there's a sleepy yawn from behind him and a warm body is plastered against his back. Someone up there obviously hates Spencer.
"G'morning, Spencer Smith. Did you get me coffee? I love you," Brendon says as he reaches down and steals Spencer's coffee and drinks the whole thing, bastard.
Spencer has to clench his teeth to keep from straight-out attacking Brendon who has totally ruined his moment. "Good morning," he grinds out. "That was my coffee. Where's Ryan?"
"Still asleep, I think. He is so cute when he is asleep, Spencer! Like a puppy, only cuter. And more poky and less cuddly, but yeah." Brendon slides into the stool next to Spencer, opposite Jon, and leans heavily on Spencer's shoulder. "I am sorry about your coffee, but it totally gave its life for a higher cause. Namely, keeping me sane. Forgive me?"
And Spencer sighs and pats Brendon's shoulder, because he does have a point. Brendon can't filter anything worth a damn when he's half-asleep, and while Spencer doesn't have the same problem as, say, Bob Bryar, where he hears Brendon's amplified rebroadcast of ever thought he picks up, he does understand that Brendon's sensitive enough that he has a really hard time keeping his head straight even when he's completely awake. Plus, Spencer really doesn't want Brendon picking up on what he's thinking right now, because, yeah. Private thoughts. "I'm letting you off with a warning," he tells Brendon finally, pushing him away and glaring. "Brendon, this is Jon. Jon, Brendon," he says before Brendon can start repeating anything and everything that happens to flit through his mind, which he has a tendency to do when he's half-awake and he isn't really filtering yet.
"Hello, Jon," Brendon says cheerfully, and Spencer is reminded yet again of the fact that it is just wrong that Brendon is a morning person when he isn't even really awake.
Jon starts to say hello back, but he's interrupted by a sound of his phone ringing. He sighs and digs it out of his pocket glancing at the screen. "Sorry, I have to take this," he tells them even as he presses a button to answer. Spencer's food comes while Jon argues with the person on the other end of the line, and he pushes a plate of waffles smothered in whipped cream and strawberries at Brendon, who promptly gives Spencer a look that promises all sorts of lovely things in his future.
"So," Brendon asks Spencer quietly to between bites of waffle, "are we really going to fire up the jets today? That'd be so awesome."
"Only if we have to," Spencer says reluctantly, clutching his refilled mug to his chest and growling softly whenever Brendon moves too close. "You didn't have to live through the first three engines Ryan built when we got the car. I, on the other hand, still have nightmares."
Brendon concedes that Spencer may have a point, though he pouts as he does so and it's obvious that he's not going to be pleased until Spencer says straight out that yeah, they can try some of the more interesting features Ryan's added to Black Belinda. Next to him, Jon finally finishes his call. "Hey, I, uh. Have to go," he says, a genuine look of apology in his face as he slides of the stool and onto his feet, already digging out his wallet to settle his bill. "There's apparently been some kind of emergency and- Yeah, kinda needed to be there thirty minutes ago. It was really great meeting you, Spencer, Brendon." He slaps some bills on the counter and is practically running out the door, and Spencer is sighing even though he knew nothing could've happened. He thinks he still deserves to sigh, though, because they're in the middle of Nebraska, or something, and it isn't as if he'll ever see Jon again. More specifically, it isn't as if he'll ever get to see Jon's awesome smile again, which is really a shame.
Movement to Spencer's left causes his head to whip around, and Brendon has this smile on his face that just makes Spencer's blood boil. "What?" he snaps, glaring.
"Nothing," Brendon says cheerfully. Spencer totally doesn't trust that cheerfulness. Cheerful may be Brendon's default natural state, but there are totally different degrees of cheerful and this one is a dangerous one. It's the one that means Brendon's up to something. Brendon cocks his head to the side. "Ryan's up. We should get him tea."
"I know you're up to something," Spencer says, still suspicious. "I don't know why I ever let you stay when Brent brought you over."
"Because I'm cute and adorable!"
"No, I'm sure it wasn't that."
Ryan shows up and they feed him toast and tea (because Ryan has this thing where he really, really loves tea but omg, can't stand coffee; no one really gets it) and he mumbles and isn't really processing anything at the moment, but Brendon has a good time patting him on the head and helping him with his food. Getting Ryan functional in the morning used to be Spencer's job, but he pretty much lets Brendon do it all the time these days, because Spencer Smith is secretly a big softy at heart, and Brendon is just so happy and eager to help. Ryan says various incomprehensible mumbles and half-leans against Brendon, who easily answers all his mumbles, because he totally knows what Ryan's asking (psychic skillz ftw!), which is good because otherwise Ryan might continue to spend his morning worrying about chartreuse zombie giraffes.
Between them both, they manage to get Ryan able and working and head out on their mission to save TAI. And, y'know, other bands that happen to be touring with them, though Spencer kinda feels that they're not as important. It's like.... natural selection, right? The strong bands survive, the weak ones were never going to make it anyway. Brendon and Ryan maybe don't feel this is an appropriate comment and get upset and remind Spencer that this is about saving lives. Ryan, having finally woken up enough to process things, also reminds Spencer that he said they could try out the jets today. Spencer is starting to really regret having made that promise.
They pile into the car, with Spencer at the wheel even though Brendon's probably more awake and aware by this point. But Brendon is still not allowed to drive the car except if it's a life or death situation. And even then he's only allowed to drive in certain very specific life or death situations, all of which are enumerated on the list Ryan drew up after the first (and so far only) time Brendon got to drive the hearse. Ryan is fond of Brendon, but Brendon is not his baby and Belinda is.
Spencer is all set to turn the key in the ignition when he stops. "Guys," he says slowly, "where are we going again?"
"We're following The Academy Is...!" Brendon says, bouncing and eager to go. Spencer is reminded why he usually slips Brendon decaf (he finds that it has a total placebo effect and actually works just as well as regular coffee when it comes to waking Brendon up, only causes no terrifying fits of increased hyperactivity).
"...oh," says Ryan, and Spencer can see that at least Ryan's realized the problem, even if Brendon hasn't. "Shit. Didn't anyone think to get the tour schedule last night?"
No one did, of course, because they're just not that organized. They're a bunch of teenagers traveling at random to take on aliens - no one who does this kind of thing is ever really organized. In fact, they're lucky they have a car that doesn't require gas, since they've ended up running out of fuel twice now, because no one thought to pay any attention to the fuel gage (Belinda just gets such great mileage that none of them are really used to refilling her more than once every four months or so when they're just driving her around town).
(Sometimes when they get into trouble they call Andy and beg for him to bail them out, because they can't call their parents. Even though they're technically adults, it's their parents, and Mr. and Mrs. Smith are both upset that neither of their boys ended up going to college. Brendon doesn't talk about his parents much, and neither Smith asks him about them. Sometimes one or more of Brendon's sisters will call for him on Ryan or Spencer's phone, but that's it, really. Andy, on the other hand, is slightly older than them, and definitely more experienced with this whole traveling all over thing, and he totally loves Ryan for his wonderful veggie engine. And the fact that they are saving the world. He sometimes says it's too bad they never made it as a band, and Panic! just shrugs, because what they're doing now is more important than the music. Not everyone can be Gerard Way and make it big in music and save lives at the same time.)
Brendon stops bouncing and frowns. "Well. Can't I just-" His eyes suddenly go out of focus, and he makes a sort of choking noise before pulling himself back together and shaking his head a lot. "Okay. That was not the smartest thing to try, I think," he says in a strangled voice, and Spencer assumes Brendon unshielded completely and tried to pick out TAI, which, yeah, was pretty stupid. There're a lot of minds out there, after all, Brendon's never been particularly good at filtering and searching.
In the passenger seat Ryan sighs and rolls his eyes. He turns around and pulls his laptop out from underneath the backseat, opening it in his lap. "You're useless, Urie," he mutters as he opens his web browser and calls up Google. A few minutes later he has the tour schedule and Spencer's turning onto the highway. Spencer has yet to figure out how Ryan is managing to get internet in the car while they're on the road, because he knows they can't be tapping in to some random stranger's network all the time, it just wouldn't last. He doesn't ask, though, because he finds he generally doesn't want to know how Ryan's doohickies work.
They drive most of the day, changing drivers around lunch time, and actually manage to catch up with with the caravan of busses before too long. Unfortunately, it's not like they can just walk over and say, Hi, we've reason to believe there's a murderous alien in your midst and we're just going to wander around with our telepath and our alien detector and take care of that for you.
Well, actually. That's totally what Ryan and Brendon plan on doing, but Spencer is a bit more on top of things, luckily, and says no, that just won't work, because they'll just assume they're nuts and call the cops. After all, remember the time they met Bob Bryar? He totally didn't believe them about the aliens, even when Brent told him, and everyone knows that if Brent accepts it as fact, it probably pretty much is, since Brent's the eternal skeptic and all. This news makes Brendon and Ryan all mopey, but Spencer is not going to cave, because he has to be the voice of reason now that they don't have Brent to point out these kinds of things, and dammit, he's going to be reasonable about things.
Ryan grumbles and points out that it is too bad FOB isn't along on this tour, because they would totally be down with Panic! flushing out a murderous alien. Pete Wentz is awesome like that. Spencer rolls his eyes and says actually, Andy's the one who's been super awesome about all them trying to save the world and he suspects Wentz just wants into Ryan's pants. Ryan gets all pissy and upset about this, because Spencer has just insulted Pete Wentz, and yeah, Spencer is his brother and his best friend, but he doesn't know if he can really forgive Spencer for that. This is the point where Spencer points out that he controls the cash on this jolly romp across the country, and if Ryan plans to eat dinner tonight, he'll have to bow to Spencer's superior power. It is with great reluctance that Ryan agrees to let Spencer's slight on Pete Wentz go.
Brendon pipes up and points out that they still have no way to get at said murderous alien, let alone any idea what it looks like, and it's generally decided that it would be a much better idea to concentrate on, y'know, saving lives instead of bickering. Because they are Mature Adults, yes.
The Smiths know when it is time to let it go and shut up, and Brendon claiming to be a Mature Adult is definitely one of those times, so they do. After some general discussion, it is finally decided that their best bet would probably be to see about going to the show tonight and seeing if they can't ID the alien. And thus begins the very brief period of time during which Panic! kinda acts like TAI's groupies. Sorta. In a weird and not-really kinda way. (They have a mission! They're not doing it for fun! Really!)
After about two or three days of this, they happen to pull into a gas station to obtain snack items for Brendon in an effort to fill his mouth and thus provide some relief from his seemingly endless repertoire of Disney songs. (Spencer is infinitely glad that Brendon's mother drummed manners into him, thus ensuring that they will never have to worry about Brendon talking with his mouth full). As it turns out, they are not the only ones who think doing a snack run is a good idea - the busses stop as well. Not that Panic! is going to do anything like try to follow anyone who happens to come out the busses, because that would look weird and stalkery, yes, trust me, Ryan, I am the voice of reason and I know what I'm talking about.
Apparently TAI does not possess a voice of reason, though, since when Panic! gets back to Black Belinda, they find William Beckett sorta draped across her and the Butcher and Adam Siska totally checking out their ride.
"Uh," Ryan says and he is not at all panicking or having a fanboy freakout moment or anything, because he is totally cool and collected, okay? "That's our car."
William sits up and pulls down his sunglasses a little to look at them. "Hi," he says brightly, "we like your car. It's pretty."
Ryan splutters, because Black Belinda is not "pretty." But it is William Beckett who is calling her pretty, and Ryan thinks that might be okay. Only he isn't sure. And. And this is rather confusing and hard for him. This isn't like when they met FOB, because that was on their own terms, or like when they met Bob Bryar, because that was on their own turf, and plus Bob was threatening Brendon, which was just. Yeah.
Luckily, Brendon rarely falls victim to fanboy freakouts (that time with Bob Bryar was totally a special exception because Bob was big and scary and glaring him), and he bounces forward. "Ryan fixed her up! He's good with machines and things. He built the engine and added the rockets and put in the flux capacitor and the stealth mode."
The Butcher perks up. "Dude. You have a flux capacitor?"
"Brendon's joking," Spencer says, glaring pointedly at Brendon, because hello, they are just three regular guys, remember Brendon? "No flux capacitor, no stealth mode. It's just a car." But Siska's already circled around to the back of the hearse and is kneeling down, pointing out the jets to the Butcher, and Spencer sighs.
"You guys fans?" Siska asks, attention still totally focused on the car. "See, normally I wouldn't assume that random people like you three were anything less than normal, except Bill swears he saw your car at the last two gigs."
"I like pretty things," William says cheerfully.
"We're not stalkers," Spencer says quickly, because yeah, a bunch of guys following bands around looks a lot like stalking. Or like they're groupies, which is even worse than stalkers in Spencer's mind.
Ryan scratches the side of his nose, thinks for a moment, then says, "I built the engine in your bus. I think it needs a tune-up - seems to be lagging behind. Didn't get the adjustments on the carbon drive right when I scaled it up from the one in Belinda," and Spencer feels like he could kiss Ryan if he wasn't, y'know, his brother.
"You didn't build the engine," William says, but there's no cruelty in his voice. "Nobody just builds engines. Machines build engines."
"Ryan builds engines," Brendon shoots back. "Vegetarian engines. Andy says he's full of awesome." Brendon kinda thinks Andy is fabulous, because Andy is a vegan alien and everything.
This sparks a long argument about whether vegetarian engines are even possible, and whether they can actually be called vegetarian engines or if would be better to just call it an alternate-fuel based car. And if you can get a tax write-off for them like you can with an electric or hybrid car.
Brendon is perhaps not the best person to be arguing these things with, of course, because he knows very little about how taxes work, exactly, and even less about mechanics. They try to involve Ryan, only Ryan always depends on Spencer or their parents when it comes to taxes, so he knows even less about them, and he doesn't look at building engines as mechanics, so he's no use when it comes to that either. Finally Brendon gets frustrated enough that he declares the need for an impartial third party, which means he steals Ryan's phone and calls Andy.
This turns out to be just the thing to do, because Andy insists on talking to Spencer, since Spencer is the level-headed one and less prone to childish hysterics (mostly, as long as it doesn't involve the last chocolate cookie or pretty much any threat to Ryan). Spencer has the sense of mind to explain to Andy that they're trying to check up on something in the tour caravan, only Ryan's awesome skills are being doubted, and come on Andy, help them save the world. Please?
Andy sighs and asks Spencer why he doesn't just tell TAI that they've tracked a probably-hostile alien to the tour? (They've never had to develop any kind of secret code in order to discuss their activities with Andy, he just always understands what Panic! isn't saying when they call all, um, panicked. Brendon thinks Andy's psychic, Ryan thinks he's a genius, and Spencer happens to know for a fact that Andy puts the phone on speaker so Patrick can listen in and translate what isn't being said. Spencer isn't sure what this says about Patrick.) Spencer explains that it's bad enough TAI seems to think they're groupies, they don't need TAI thinking that they're alien conspiracy freaks also. At which point Andy observes that, in his experience, the conspiracy theorists aren't nearly as crazy as the groupies.
Spencer tells him this is not reassuring in the least, then asks to speak to Patrick, because he knows Patrick will be sane and reasonable. Once he's sure he's got Patrick and not Pete pretending to be Patrick just to be obnoxious (which has happened to Spencer more times than he can count), he hands the phone t Siska. "Here, you two sort it out like responsible adults," and oh god, he can't believe he just said that. Honestly, why is that the babies in these bands are always the most responsible ones? It doesn't make sense. He thinks it's a good thing he's older than Ryan, or else he'd start to seriously doubt the ways of the universe.
Five minutes on the phone with Patrick apparently smoothes things out enough that Siska is willing to believe Panic! (and Spencer makes a mental note to send Patrick something really nice as a thank you, because honestly - the guy has to put up with Andy's alieness and Pete Wentz, he shouldn't have to be bailing out some guys he only vaguely knows), and they make arrangements for Ryan to look over the engine when they stop that evening. Spencer raises his eyebrows at Ryan, and their brotherly psychic link must be working really well today or Brendon's helping out and relaying Spencer's mental messages, because Ryan says it might take a few days to get everything ship-shape again, and that he should probably look at the other engines as well, if that's alright. Wouldn't want anyone to be stranded in the middle of nowhere after all. Siska agrees that this is a good point, and takes Ryan off to talk to someone even more responsible and a lot more in charge of things.
It isn't until Spencer's pushing William Beckett out of the way and stowing the food they bought that it occurs to him that they just became roadies. For the busses. He thinks there's probably something wrong with that, but he can't pinpoint exactly what.
On their second day with the bands, Ryan heads off to tackle engines, his eyes sparkling and a grin plastered across his face as he thumbs the switch on the all-purpose tool he cobbled together together their senior year. He tried to explain it to Spencer once, and all Spencer really caught was that it was like a Swiss army knife, only instead of having three different blades, a screwdriver, and a pair of scissors, it can create any sort of blade or tool out of pure sound, and opens things by causing the air around them to vibrate at a conflicting frequency. Ryan calls it his sonic leatherman and has declared that Brendon is not allowed to touch it. Spencer can see the way Brendon's fingers twitch every time Ryan takes it out, and he doesn't like that one bit.
Since Ryan is busy with their cover story, Spencer tells Brendon to check out those people over there, far away from where Ryan and his sonic-whatever are, while he checks out TAI's roadies for possible aliens. "We're only looking for dangerous aliens, remember," Spencer warns Brendon. "If they aren't hurting anyone, don't bother them. Don't draw attention to yourself. Do your stealth thing." Brendon rolls his eyes and says he knows, Spencer, you don't have to tell me this stuff, but he's smiling as he says it, so Spencer isn't too worried about him. Having done his bit to try and keep Brendon out of trouble, Spencer heads off to check out TAI's crew.
He does not expect the SuperSoaker, and for a moment he freaks and thinks oh shit, corrosive acid, the alien's got me. But then he realizes that no, it's not acid. But someone has just managed to drench his shirt with some sort of green liquid. Spencer counts to ten and tries to stay calm. Then he sees that it's gotten on his shoes - his formerly pristine, white shoes - and his vision turns red and he can no longer remember why he should to be calm, because dammit, this is war.
"Oh, hey. Jack, you lied, that's not B-" The guy doesn't manage to finish because Spencer is already on top of him and has his fingers wrapped around his neck and so going to strangle him because, dammit, his shoes. Someone - two someones, actually - pull him off, even though Spencer is vicious and tenacious like a small, nasty, biting thing, only not so small. "Hey, it's okay, it's completely water soluble, no worries oh my god, Spencer?" says the guy holding the SuperSoaker and Spencer stares because, oh shit, it's Jon of the awesome smile and he might've just ruined Spencer's shirt and shoes and oh no, Spencer thinks he might be having a crisis of faith.
Part of him wants to do something that will allow him to see Jon's smile again, part of him is screaming for blood as repayment for his damaged clothes, and a tiny sliver of him, trampled and exhausted and hiding somewhere at the back of his mind, is struggling to remind him that he is on a Mission, and that Missions come before shoes and hormones. Spencer hates his conscience sometimes, but this is not one of those times, because it gives him direction and purpose! And also, listening to it will totally help him not act like a completely idiot in front of Jon, not that he cares what Jon thinks of him, since Jon has tarnished the sanctity of his shoes. This decided, Spencer stops struggling against Jon's fellow roadies and stands up straight. "Hey... Jon, wasn't it," he says as casually as he can, because Spencer Smith is totally casual and hasn't spent the past five days thinking about Jon's smile. "Didn't expect to see you here."
It doesn't take long to explain to the other guys how it is that Jon and Spencer know each other ("We met in a diner, right before they found the- You know. Almost a week ago, yeah," Jon says, and the roadies all share this look which is definitely not a good one and Spencer wishes he had Brendon here, because Spencer would kinda really love to know what they're thinking). Spencer explains about Ryan and his vegetarian engines, and makes up some stuff about how he's with Ryan to act as a second driver and how Brendon is there because they literally could not leave him behind, as he's practically surgically attached himself to the Smith brothers. Spencer is rather glad to discover that TAI's crew is 100% human, and is thinking it might be time to go and check in with Brendon when Jon asks him if he wants to go get coffee.
"I mean, if you're not busy or anything," Jon says. "And I don't mind waiting if you want to change or anything like that," and nnngh, why does Jon have to be so sweet??
But Spencer is strong and just gives Jon a stony look rather than melting. He is so good. "I have work to do. Sorry," though he totally makes it sound like he isn't sorry at all. He's very proud of himself.
Thus, Spencer escapes the cunning and nefarious clutches of Jon. Because Jon is totally cunning and nefarious, really, just look at those flip-flops. Cunning! Nefarious! Spencer looks for Brendon, in fact goes over and chats with the guys he told Brendon to talk to (no aliens there, thankfully), but they say they haven't spoken to or even seen Brendon, sorry. This causes Spencer to worry enough that he momentarily forgets about Jon, because Jon may have an awesome smile and nefarious flip-flops, but Brendon is his bandmate. Well, okay, they're not exactly a band anymore, so he's more a teammate, but it's the thought that counts. Spencer goes to find Ryan, because usually if Brendon isn't where he's supposed to be it's because he's busy trying to get Ryan to notice him.
Yes, those are Ryan's legs sticking out of the back of the bus, and yep, that's a second pair of legs there, so Spencer's found Ryan and... and Jon, dammit. Spencer would recognize those flip-flops anywhere. Jon is obviously insidious as well as cunning and nefarious. He stomps over and clears his throat, then waits for the other two emerge from the engine. Jon smiles and starts to say how Ryan's explaining the carbon conversion process to him, but Spencer is strong and doesn't look at Jon, focusing instead on Ryan. "Ryan, we have a problem. Brendon's missing."
Ryan shrugs. "Brendon can take care of himself." There is very little that can distract Ryan when he's in the mood to mess around with grease and fiddly little bits of metal.
Spencer sighs. "He was supposed to be working on things, and he didn't even get started on them. I think he went off on his own again. Like that time with the cheer coach." Why the hell Jon is still here? Doesn't the guy get that he isn't wanted? Geez.
As soon as Spencer mentions the cheer coach, Ryan's eyes lose their dazed quality and turn attentive. "Shit. Yeah, we have a problem. You think he saw something?"
"Seems likely," Spencer says with a nod.
Ryan groans. If they get Brendon killed, Brent is never going to let them live it down. He always gets pissed if (when) they mess up the stuff he finds for them. "Look, Jon, sorry but I gotta go take care of this," Ryan says, his tone apologetic. Spencer's eyes narrow. Jon and Ryan just met, there is no reason why Ryan should sound apologetic. Can't Ryan see that Jon is dangerous and untrustworthy?
"You guys want any help finding your friend?" Jon asks, and he looks genuinely concerned. "I mean, there're a lot of places he could've ended up, and you're not exactly familiar with the setup around here yet, right?" Spencer's eyes narrow some more. Jon looks awfully twitchy. Is he covering up for the murderous alien? It seems likely.
"Sure," Spencer says, not looking at Jon. "You check those places, Ryan and I'll check everywhere else." Because there is no way he is going to let Jon lure him to someplace where no one will ever hear him scream. He isn't stupid.
Ryan's looking at him oddly, and as soon as Jon is gone he demands Spencer tell him why he's so being such a jerk. "Jon's pretty awesome, Spencer. He actually gets carbon conversion! Only Andy's ever understood it before, you know." Spencer does know. Ryan would not shut up about it when he first discovered that little tidbit.
"I have reason to believe he's in league with the alien," Spencer says icily.
"Really, what kind of reason?"
"He smiles too much. Also, flip-flops. It's the middle of October, no one in their right minds wears flip-flops in this kind of weather at this time of year. He's suspicious."
"...I thought you told Andy you didn't want people to think we're conspiracy theorists?" Ryan says skeptically.
Spencer is about to say something scathingly brilliant in reply, because he is always scathingly brilliant, when when they hear the scream.
Which, okay, they pretty much expected to hear it, because usually when Brendon goes off on his own it's only a matter of time before the scream's heard. Ryan and Spencer have tried over and over again to get Brendon to understand that his supposedly awesome war cry sounds like a girl screaming, but Brendon just won't listen. That or he totally realizes it and just continues to do it because he knows it'll piss off the Smiths. Spencer suspects the latter. Brendon can be kinda demonic at times.
"We have got him to stop doing that," Spencer says as they race to Brendon's rescue. Which, okay, to be fair Brendon's gotten better since that time with the cheer coach, and really none of them knew what they were doing then, so, yeah. As long as he hasn't been distracted by something shiny or anything like that, Brendon's probably fine and holding is own. "You can write a song for him or something."
"He's not allowed to sing my songs," Ryan mutters. "He'd try to make them happy and about unicorns and rainbows like Stacey did. But yeah, the screaming has to stop."
The creepy thing is that right then the screaming does stop. The Smiths share a glance and immediately speed up. There's very little that shuts up Brendon once he starts his war cry. Not even victory does it, since once he wins he just starts on one of his victory songs. They've nice melodies, Spencer admits, but they need better words. Stupid Brendon and his stupid victory songs.
Whatever Ryan and Spencer are expecting to find when they eventually reach Brendon, it certainly isn't Brendon and Jon held up against a wall by giant tentacles wrapped around their necks, their faces kinda starting to turn blue. The tentacles are coming out of the mouth of a dull looking guy who Spencer thinks he's seen around but hasn't really gotten close to. Spencer doesn't even stop to take a moment to think things through, he just turns to Ryan, grabs his sonic-whatsit and demands to know what frequency will turn calamari in puree. He dials it in, enables the timer feature, and throws it at the alien's neck. Years of throwing drumsticks at first his sisters and later Brendon have given Spencer wicked aim, and he gets it on first shot. The alien explodes into blue goo, and Jon and Brendon hit the ground when they're released. The severed tentacles flop about uselessly on the ground a few times before going absolutely still.
Somehow Ryan's still pristine despite the fact that everything else is bright blue, and yeah, okay, Spencer has to admit that between the food coloring and the goo, his own clothes are totally shot. Ryan makes his way over to where the alien was standing and retrieves his gadget, then hauls Brendon to his feet and proceeds to bawl him out for acting stupid. Spencer smirks. Usually Ryan only does yells at Brendon like that when he's seriously freaking out because Brendon's gone nearly gotten himself killed. It's kinda cute.
Absently wiping goo from his face, Spencer glances around at the mess. There's no way they can possibly clean this all up. Might as well leave it like Andy always wants them to. He sighs. He wants a shower. This has not been his day.
"Hey, so. Demons?" asks a voice right beside him and shit, Spencer nearly jumps out of his skin. He turns and glares at Jon.
"Aliens," he snaps. "We take care of harmful aliens. I think this one was eating groupies, though I'm not positive, you'd have to ask Brendon to be sure."
"That would explain the desiccated bodies we've been finding near the venues for the past few months," Jon says, nodding thoughtfully. "Bill kept insisting we were being stalked by a vampire. I think he said he was going to ask Gerard Way to come in if it happened again."
"Gerard Way doesn't know shit about aliens," Spencer says snidely, which, okay, maybe isn't completely fair, since he's never actually met the man. He just hasn't exactly had much of a soft spot for MyChem ever since their drummer threatened to maim Brendon.
Jon laughs. "Ouch, harsh."
Spencer is, perhaps, a bit shorter with Jon than he actually means to be, because yeah, the guy just nearly got killed trying to help them, and he's probably not actually nefarious or evil or anything, but Spencer is also stressed and freaked out because Brendon is kinda like his second little brother and he was seriously scared Brendon and Jon were going to die because usually they have the car and this time they didn't and he had to just improvise. He totally didn't think that whole thing with Ryan's sonic-something would work as well as it did.
Luckily, Jon seems to realize all this, and gives him a hug, which is maybe exactly what Spencer needs right now. "Hey. Thanks for saving my life."
Gulping, Spencer sniffs, because he's allergic to alien goo and it's making his eyes water, really - Spencer Smith totally does not cry. "You're still not forgiven for turning me green," he says.
Jon is of course not appeased by Spencer's simple, straightforward explanation that they take care of aliens, so Spencer takes him up on his offer of coffee once they've had a chance to shower (this is managed by showing up at TAI's bus and Jon cheerfully telling Bill that the vampire's been taken care of and they'll be stealing his shower now). Spencer makes Brendon stop retelling horror stories of past encounters long enough to clean up as well. Then he drags both Ryan and Brendon along on the coffee expedition (just in case Jon actually is nefarious, not because he's still shaky or anything).
"We're actually a band," Spencer explains once he has caffeine that he has not paid for (apparently saving someone's life earns you free coffee, who knew). "We just moonlight as alien troubleshooters because Brendon's too curious and Ryan has a saving people thing."
"And our bassist kinda left us," Brendon pipes up. Spencer and Ryan glare at him, because Brent hasn't left, he just... decided to go to college and get a degree so he could get an actual paying job someday. Okay, yeah. Brent totally sold out on them.
"That's so cool," Jon says, his eyes bright and eager. "You guys are like My Chemical Romance - playing music and saving lives."
Spencer growls loudly. Ryan pats his hand and explains to Jon, "Spencer has issues with My Chem. Their drummer tried to kill Brendon once."
"We are so much better than those posers," Spencer grumbles. "Our gear's better, our music's better, our psychic's better, and we're actually saving the world." Though, granted, it's more through Ryan's awesome, eco-friendly engines than because they take care of hostile aliens, but yeah. Totally better than My Chem.
They end up staying with the tour for another week while Ryan works on the engines in all the busses until they meet his standards. He maybe adds in a few extra features, though Spencer expressly forbids him from telling anyone how to turn on the turbo drive. Spencer is such a killjoy sometimes.
Around the time they're ready to finally part ways and get on with their random wanderings across backcountry America, Jon's waiting with coffee when Spencer sleepily climbs out of the hearse one morning. The sight is actually not an unfamiliar one - Jon's been giving him coffee ever since the whole alien thing, and Spencer isn't about to complain or turn it down. He makes grabby hands towards the cup and happily inhales half of it straight off.
"So," Jon says, glancing down at the ground. "I suppose you're going to go back to alien hunting now, huh? Since Ryan's done with the busses."
"Mmmyup," Spencer says, still in his happy, early morning coffee coma.
"And hey, I was thinking. It's. I play bass," Jon sort of blurts out. "If you guys still need a bassist. Since I bet you'd be an awesome band, if you had the people."
Suddenly Brendon and Ryan are sticking their heads out the back of the car, looking way too alert for this time of day. "You play bass?" Ryan asks at the same time that Brendon says, a little breathlessly, "Jonny Walker, are you propositioning us?" Brendon sounds absolutely delighted at the prospect. Spencer kind of wants to kill him. No, kill them both.
"Yeah. Yeah, I am," Jon says and then, oh god, he smiles. Dammit, dammit, that's not fair. He shouldn't be allowed to do that. No Jon smiles before Spencer's finished his first cup of coffee.
"I say we take him," Brendon tells Ryan very seriously. "If he's worse than Brent, he can be our back-up bassist. Or play rhythm guitar."
"We don't need a rhythm guitarist," Ryan argues. "If Brent's better, Jon can be our roadie. That okay with you, Jon?"
Jon nods and grins and Spencer glares at them all and drinks the rest of his coffee, because it's become very clear to him that he has absolutely no say in this at all. He hates Brendon and Ryan and most of all Jon. There is absolutely no way he is going to be happy about this situation. "Here," says Jon, taking his empty cup and handing him another full one.
Spencer stares down at the cup, takes a sip, then considers. "Well," he says finally after several minutes, "I guess we can keep him. He makes good coffee, if nothing else."
part 1 | part 2 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8