Wallaby food!
Snort, this is hilarious
The Wallabies are eating humble pie again after another embarrassing revelation on their disastrous tour of South Africa.
The Australians had a bonding session this week in which players were asked which teammate they would eat if their plane crashed.
News of this latest gaffe appeared in the Cape Times newspaper, which led its front page on Thursday with a bizarre account of the team meeting at a cocktail bar where players were asked how they would survive if stranded in the middle of nowhere after a plane crash.
The report said the players were presented with "The Alive Scenario - who to cook?", an exercise based on the Uruguayan club rugby team whose plane crashed in the Andes in 1972. Several players ate dead teammates' bodies to survive, inspiring the 1993 film Alive.
At the meeting on Tuesday night, players were asked to nominate a teammate to be "sacrificed in the name of culinary delights". The Cape Times said the Wallabies "left their questionnaires lying on the tables at the restaurant".
The instructions included: "You must nominate a player for each dish and how you would prepare them. Ways to present them include on a spit, marinated, skewered, boiled, in dumplings etc. Be creative."
It seems Matt Dunning was popular with teammates, several of whom put the tight-head prop on their menu. Lote Tuqiri reportedly wanted to prepare him for starters in a sweet and sour sauce, while George Gregan said Dunning would be part of his main dish of "sweet pork, slowly roasted". Tuqiri was keen on Morgan Turinui for dessert, explaining: "The amount of sweets he puts in, it's got to rub off in his meat somewhere."
The report said five-eighth Stephen Larkham would like Drew Mitchell's testicles for dessert. Chris Whitaker's starter was Rocky Elsom's private parts "fried in butter, garlic, chilli and parsley".
Wallabies team management said the questionnaire wasn't meant for public consumption, but it has created further humiliation on this tour from hell.
Coach Eddie Jones laughed off the incident on Thursday.
"It was a bit of fun," he said. "The guys had a backs and forwards dinner ... they were at a restaurant eating.
"Apparently, the previous week when we split up into smaller groups, one of the convers- ations was just this fun topic. "We asked for the papers, which were left behind to be given back, and the restaurant wouldn't give them back. So it's pretty disappointing it has gone into the local newspapers because it's just an internal thing revolving around a bit of fun. No harm intended."
Thursday's Cape Argus, with the headline "Wallaby Tour Woes Get Worse", devoted nearly its entire back page to listing the misdemeanours of Australian players in recent seasons - including ACT's Cape Town taxi affair in 2000; Mat Rogers's altercation outside a Edinburgh nightclub; Justin Harrison's racial slurs; Cameron Shepherd being described as a disgrace by a magistrate for attacking a parked car; and the player survey that revealed widely held concerns about peers' alcohol and gambling habits.
The report also highlighted the management cover-up of why halfback Matt Henjak had become the first Wallaby in almost 40 years to be sent home in disgrace after an incident at a Cape Town nightclub last week, where he threw a drink and then had an argument with teammate Tuqiri.
On the front page of the Argus, a strapline read: "Wallabies In Turmoil." The paper wrote that "in recent years the image of Australian rugby has been tarnished by controversies". Other South African media have complained the Wallabies are "uncooperative".
Local journalists also targeted Jones during Thursday's media conference, where he admitted management had probably taken the wrong approach to public relations since the team arrived in Cape Town two weeks ago.
"We've taken an approach on this tour to really focus on ourselves," Jones said. "On other tours we've been very open, and that's our normal policy. We understand we have got very strong commitments and responsibility to make sure that we help promote the game of rugby. We've probably been a little selfish on this tour but certainly it's not going to be the normal policy."
Jones partly won over the home media by offering them another Nelson Mandela story. He suggested that in the Tri Nations opener in Pretoria on Saturday, the Springboks might struggle without Mandela in the main grandstand.
"It was interesting how the Springboks used their meeting with Mr Mandela [in the previous Test in Johannesburg]," he said. "We went back from the pre-match warm-up and couldn't get in our dressing room for about three or four minutes because Mr Mandela was being presented with a Springbok cap.
"So they used that situation to their advantage, and that's the advantage of being the home side."
Asked why the Wallabies "didn't barge through the Springboks", Jones said: "Mr Mandela is 87 years old. So I didn't think it would be a good idea.
"Maybe we might do the same thing when we play them in Perth, by standing outside the dressing room after the warm-up and present John Howard with George's [Gregan] jumper. I heard Bob Carr has just resigned, so maybe he'll do it."
The Wallabies are eating humble pie again after another embarrassing revelation on their disastrous tour of South Africa.
The Australians had a bonding session this week in which players were asked which teammate they would eat if their plane crashed.
News of this latest gaffe appeared in the Cape Times newspaper, which led its front page on Thursday with a bizarre account of the team meeting at a cocktail bar where players were asked how they would survive if stranded in the middle of nowhere after a plane crash.
The report said the players were presented with "The Alive Scenario - who to cook?", an exercise based on the Uruguayan club rugby team whose plane crashed in the Andes in 1972. Several players ate dead teammates' bodies to survive, inspiring the 1993 film Alive.
At the meeting on Tuesday night, players were asked to nominate a teammate to be "sacrificed in the name of culinary delights". The Cape Times said the Wallabies "left their questionnaires lying on the tables at the restaurant".
The instructions included: "You must nominate a player for each dish and how you would prepare them. Ways to present them include on a spit, marinated, skewered, boiled, in dumplings etc. Be creative."
It seems Matt Dunning was popular with teammates, several of whom put the tight-head prop on their menu. Lote Tuqiri reportedly wanted to prepare him for starters in a sweet and sour sauce, while George Gregan said Dunning would be part of his main dish of "sweet pork, slowly roasted". Tuqiri was keen on Morgan Turinui for dessert, explaining: "The amount of sweets he puts in, it's got to rub off in his meat somewhere."
The report said five-eighth Stephen Larkham would like Drew Mitchell's testicles for dessert. Chris Whitaker's starter was Rocky Elsom's private parts "fried in butter, garlic, chilli and parsley".
Wallabies team management said the questionnaire wasn't meant for public consumption, but it has created further humiliation on this tour from hell.
Coach Eddie Jones laughed off the incident on Thursday.
"It was a bit of fun," he said. "The guys had a backs and forwards dinner ... they were at a restaurant eating.
"Apparently, the previous week when we split up into smaller groups, one of the convers- ations was just this fun topic. "We asked for the papers, which were left behind to be given back, and the restaurant wouldn't give them back. So it's pretty disappointing it has gone into the local newspapers because it's just an internal thing revolving around a bit of fun. No harm intended."
Thursday's Cape Argus, with the headline "Wallaby Tour Woes Get Worse", devoted nearly its entire back page to listing the misdemeanours of Australian players in recent seasons - including ACT's Cape Town taxi affair in 2000; Mat Rogers's altercation outside a Edinburgh nightclub; Justin Harrison's racial slurs; Cameron Shepherd being described as a disgrace by a magistrate for attacking a parked car; and the player survey that revealed widely held concerns about peers' alcohol and gambling habits.
The report also highlighted the management cover-up of why halfback Matt Henjak had become the first Wallaby in almost 40 years to be sent home in disgrace after an incident at a Cape Town nightclub last week, where he threw a drink and then had an argument with teammate Tuqiri.
On the front page of the Argus, a strapline read: "Wallabies In Turmoil." The paper wrote that "in recent years the image of Australian rugby has been tarnished by controversies". Other South African media have complained the Wallabies are "uncooperative".
Local journalists also targeted Jones during Thursday's media conference, where he admitted management had probably taken the wrong approach to public relations since the team arrived in Cape Town two weeks ago.
"We've taken an approach on this tour to really focus on ourselves," Jones said. "On other tours we've been very open, and that's our normal policy. We understand we have got very strong commitments and responsibility to make sure that we help promote the game of rugby. We've probably been a little selfish on this tour but certainly it's not going to be the normal policy."
Jones partly won over the home media by offering them another Nelson Mandela story. He suggested that in the Tri Nations opener in Pretoria on Saturday, the Springboks might struggle without Mandela in the main grandstand.
"It was interesting how the Springboks used their meeting with Mr Mandela [in the previous Test in Johannesburg]," he said. "We went back from the pre-match warm-up and couldn't get in our dressing room for about three or four minutes because Mr Mandela was being presented with a Springbok cap.
"So they used that situation to their advantage, and that's the advantage of being the home side."
Asked why the Wallabies "didn't barge through the Springboks", Jones said: "Mr Mandela is 87 years old. So I didn't think it would be a good idea.
"Maybe we might do the same thing when we play them in Perth, by standing outside the dressing room after the warm-up and present John Howard with George's [Gregan] jumper. I heard Bob Carr has just resigned, so maybe he'll do it."