3 Nightmares
I just had a horrible nightmare that woke me up several minutes before I was supposed to get up. I've been having them every night and they are not lucid. I have no idea they're just dreams while I'm having them and they always involve screaming, crying, and Jeremiah. The dream I just had was about me having sex with a guy I went to highschool with in my Grandma's guest bedroom. At the time I was cheating, Jeremiah was in my Grandma's house. I felt guilty about the sex afterward and then these two kids came in to the room. Me and the guy I had sex with put the kids in between us and got as far away from each other as we could so it would look like nothing happened. I was going to tell Jeremiah later. We hid the lube under the covers. I thought Jer was going to come in the room, but he never did.
Even when I called out his name, he didn't come. I called Jeremiah, who for some reason was at my other Grandma's house, staying with her. She answered casually, asking me if I was looking for my husband. I felt guilty because I felt like I should be calling for her, not to find out where he was. She told me he wasn't there and then that he died in a motorcycle accident. I told her that he doesn't even drive a motorcycle and asked if she was sure it was him. She told me that she had spent the last two hours dealing with the cops about it.
I kept crying and screaming desperately, "Grandma, are you sure it was him?" I was suprised, because even though I felt terrible, I thought it would feel worse. I was in denial. I just couldn't believe he would die...after I'd done this thing, after we didn't say goodbye, and when he doesn't drive a motorcycle. I thought he must have killed himself on purpose; stolen a motorcycle and crashed it because he didn't want to live...
This was by far the worst of the Jeremiah nightmare trilogy. The first one was about Jeremiah screwing around with this girl he was going on tour with and then telling me he's not in love with me anymore and then Rhona consoling me. The second one was about a terrible fight where he was being really mean to me. I always wake up from these dreams while I'm crying in them. Yesterday, I woke up with black circles under my eyes, as if I had been crying. Maybe I should just stay awake. I try to think about things I want to dream about while I'm falling asleep, but apparently my subconcious wants me to have a nervous breakdown.
Even when I called out his name, he didn't come. I called Jeremiah, who for some reason was at my other Grandma's house, staying with her. She answered casually, asking me if I was looking for my husband. I felt guilty because I felt like I should be calling for her, not to find out where he was. She told me he wasn't there and then that he died in a motorcycle accident. I told her that he doesn't even drive a motorcycle and asked if she was sure it was him. She told me that she had spent the last two hours dealing with the cops about it.
I kept crying and screaming desperately, "Grandma, are you sure it was him?" I was suprised, because even though I felt terrible, I thought it would feel worse. I was in denial. I just couldn't believe he would die...after I'd done this thing, after we didn't say goodbye, and when he doesn't drive a motorcycle. I thought he must have killed himself on purpose; stolen a motorcycle and crashed it because he didn't want to live...
This was by far the worst of the Jeremiah nightmare trilogy. The first one was about Jeremiah screwing around with this girl he was going on tour with and then telling me he's not in love with me anymore and then Rhona consoling me. The second one was about a terrible fight where he was being really mean to me. I always wake up from these dreams while I'm crying in them. Yesterday, I woke up with black circles under my eyes, as if I had been crying. Maybe I should just stay awake. I try to think about things I want to dream about while I'm falling asleep, but apparently my subconcious wants me to have a nervous breakdown.