(no subject)
Today, I wrote a new song. Modern Creatures hasn't been able to practice as much as I'd like us to. I ran to Jeremiah's the other night after sour times with Kelly. Sometimes we just don't know how to handle each other, she and I.
I think alot of people are unaware of the physical sensations I feel when I am under stress, particularly from discussing certain topics or fears, or when I don't know how to answer. Sensations include tightness in the head, the feeling that I cannot stop clenching teeth together, and probably increased heart rate.
My guess is that most people probably feel these same feelings when feeling threatened or stressed, but that most people feel them a lot less often because it takes them a lot more to get that way.
How does one become what one considers normal? Erase all traces of unstable childhood? Go back in time and learn how to deal with threats to well-being in a more effective manner? Stop being afraid of everything. How?
Aside from all that, Jeremiah and I are getting a place together in July. I am both excited and worried that he will end up despising me, or become so comfortable that situations similar to those with Lindsey will repeat themselves. I must give Jeremiah credit for being a unique individual. I must also give our relationship credit for not being doomed from the get-go, and therefore being healthy and very enjoyable.
I've been working more and more. My job is decent. I'm bussing (no, not busking) at The Shaughnessy Restaurant. Speaking of which, I should call them soon, because I'm on call, but I call them. Oh God, I hope I don't have to travel out to fucking Vancouver today. I just want to write stories and songs and not have any obligations or luggage to carry around on public transit.
I think alot of people are unaware of the physical sensations I feel when I am under stress, particularly from discussing certain topics or fears, or when I don't know how to answer. Sensations include tightness in the head, the feeling that I cannot stop clenching teeth together, and probably increased heart rate.
My guess is that most people probably feel these same feelings when feeling threatened or stressed, but that most people feel them a lot less often because it takes them a lot more to get that way.
How does one become what one considers normal? Erase all traces of unstable childhood? Go back in time and learn how to deal with threats to well-being in a more effective manner? Stop being afraid of everything. How?
Aside from all that, Jeremiah and I are getting a place together in July. I am both excited and worried that he will end up despising me, or become so comfortable that situations similar to those with Lindsey will repeat themselves. I must give Jeremiah credit for being a unique individual. I must also give our relationship credit for not being doomed from the get-go, and therefore being healthy and very enjoyable.
I've been working more and more. My job is decent. I'm bussing (no, not busking) at The Shaughnessy Restaurant. Speaking of which, I should call them soon, because I'm on call, but I call them. Oh God, I hope I don't have to travel out to fucking Vancouver today. I just want to write stories and songs and not have any obligations or luggage to carry around on public transit.