(no subject)
and now for part two...
where was i? oh yeah, joe got to daniel's and i ran away. ok, so i get to the car, ready to vent/cry to mom about my crappy day, and who's there but my grandmother. therefore, i can't pour out anything, so i have to sit and listen to her talk about absolutely everything. lovely. so i get home, distractedly do my 2 physics labs and other assorted homework, and then at dinner have to put up with my brother and dad teasing me about boys. without crying. that was hard. then i go back to my room to finish my labs and have a little cry. then i get semi-yelled at for not asking mom how she was feeling and such (long story, i'm not going into it), and then went back to my room to have a slightly bigger cry about how i'm a bit preoccupied with my own problems. later, i manage to fall asleep after only a tiny crying fest. this morning at school, who walks by but joe, obviously on a mission, because some other guys were with him. needless to say, i avoided eye contact by focusing on alison and talking about the labs. then we read TWO depressing poems in english, which did NOT help me at all. blah blah blah, feel-good friday, blah blah blah. didn't look at him during french class--hey, i don't want to fall apart in school. after school, i saw him walking around, so i stomped-ran up the stairs to the business office to turn in my bus thing, and then i hid in one of the window-seat-things in st daniel's. so i mentally prepare my story to tell mom on the way home, however, my brother is in the car, so i most definitely can NOT say ANYTHING about anything. yes. and now i am here, pouring out my story, and my parents still have no idea why i'm withdrawn and somewhat pouty.
i should really stop analizing this. looking for meaning makes me cry.
feel free to SKIP THIS, it's a description of what's going through my head. really, you don't want to read this.
i really should have seen this coming. i mean, i haven't really talked to him since we changed seats in french. but, at the same time, there've been lots of good moments. we've talked at my locker in between 2nd and 3rd, while he's on break from physics. he came to the band concert by himself to see me, and then came to burger king. he asked mr wand to help him get tickets for the musical so he could surprise me, and then we talked for 1/2 hour afterward. stuff like that made me feel special, like someone really cared about me. so i don't really understand why he'd do that and then...this. why me? why do i have the worst luck with boys? am i ever going to find someone and have a meaningful relationship? (oh my god, spleen, i just thought ITP. you have ruined my mind. but i did NOT mean ITP.) rawr, i can't help but be jealous of spleen and mojo and their boys, all i want is a relationship like that. is there something wrong with me, or do i just happen to pick the wrong boys? all the time?
ok, i think that's all i've got.
be happy again, be happy again...think "fantasia on the dargason" and you can't help but cheer up. it's bouncy.
where was i? oh yeah, joe got to daniel's and i ran away. ok, so i get to the car, ready to vent/cry to mom about my crappy day, and who's there but my grandmother. therefore, i can't pour out anything, so i have to sit and listen to her talk about absolutely everything. lovely. so i get home, distractedly do my 2 physics labs and other assorted homework, and then at dinner have to put up with my brother and dad teasing me about boys. without crying. that was hard. then i go back to my room to finish my labs and have a little cry. then i get semi-yelled at for not asking mom how she was feeling and such (long story, i'm not going into it), and then went back to my room to have a slightly bigger cry about how i'm a bit preoccupied with my own problems. later, i manage to fall asleep after only a tiny crying fest. this morning at school, who walks by but joe, obviously on a mission, because some other guys were with him. needless to say, i avoided eye contact by focusing on alison and talking about the labs. then we read TWO depressing poems in english, which did NOT help me at all. blah blah blah, feel-good friday, blah blah blah. didn't look at him during french class--hey, i don't want to fall apart in school. after school, i saw him walking around, so i stomped-ran up the stairs to the business office to turn in my bus thing, and then i hid in one of the window-seat-things in st daniel's. so i mentally prepare my story to tell mom on the way home, however, my brother is in the car, so i most definitely can NOT say ANYTHING about anything. yes. and now i am here, pouring out my story, and my parents still have no idea why i'm withdrawn and somewhat pouty.
i should really stop analizing this. looking for meaning makes me cry.
feel free to SKIP THIS, it's a description of what's going through my head. really, you don't want to read this.
i really should have seen this coming. i mean, i haven't really talked to him since we changed seats in french. but, at the same time, there've been lots of good moments. we've talked at my locker in between 2nd and 3rd, while he's on break from physics. he came to the band concert by himself to see me, and then came to burger king. he asked mr wand to help him get tickets for the musical so he could surprise me, and then we talked for 1/2 hour afterward. stuff like that made me feel special, like someone really cared about me. so i don't really understand why he'd do that and then...this. why me? why do i have the worst luck with boys? am i ever going to find someone and have a meaningful relationship? (oh my god, spleen, i just thought ITP. you have ruined my mind. but i did NOT mean ITP.) rawr, i can't help but be jealous of spleen and mojo and their boys, all i want is a relationship like that. is there something wrong with me, or do i just happen to pick the wrong boys? all the time?
ok, i think that's all i've got.
be happy again, be happy again...think "fantasia on the dargason" and you can't help but cheer up. it's bouncy.