(no subject)
good to feel the kind of calm that's unique to a sunday. sundays can make me feel anxious, more disorganized than any other day of the week, depressed, full of dread; or, on the flipside, a good sunday can make me feel refreshed, peaceful, ready, hopeful.
i smell tomato sauce and spaghetti through the vents, coming from downstairs. it smells like a home.
at my parent's old house, my years 13-21, the vent in my bathroom brought up all the sounds and voices from the downstairs room where my dad was always listening to records, or i could hear what my brother was watching on TV, or their conversations about music. at 715 e 2nd, my junior year of college, there was a hole in my floor that led to caitlin's room downstairs and we could whisper very softly to each other and easily hear.
the clean, calm feeling in my head mostly comes from sitting out in the sun today and breathing in fresh air. i know that, and i know that i need to do it more often. i'm sure that this is why i always get so depressed in the winter. lack of sunlight, lack of air - i have to be extra cautious and attentive to this this winter because i'm not even walking around much outside during the day anymore because i'm inside working all day. today, november 11 2006, sunday, i vow to myself to try my hardest not to let the cold weather take its hold of me. not this year. and i won't be alone like last winter. i sleep in a house where other bodies sleep, surrounded by good friends, not only within the walls of this house, but across the street and down the block. also, (and i hope this stays) i've been lucky enough to share my tiny bed and go to sleep and wake up warm.
i think a lot about winter, mostly about how i fear it. but there are some good things to it. christmas break. and maybe, hopefully, i will go on a little vacation besides my break in birmingham (still unsure yet about LA). christmas music. winter music, in general.. i listen to a lot more bjork, air, my bloody valentine, saint etienne, hope sandoval, dirty three. accepting the hibernation period. making christmas cards. sparkle of the first snow (though i hate snow). getting warm.
the weekend in music: friday = the blow, buzzcocks, mingus, fela kuti, dance mix (highlights: wolf like me, genius of love). saturday = bowie, do make say think. today = dylan, pj harvey peel sessions, more do make say think.
and in words: marilynne robinson's housekeeping (finished today at bryan park)
i realized on saturday that i am in it.
i smell tomato sauce and spaghetti through the vents, coming from downstairs. it smells like a home.
at my parent's old house, my years 13-21, the vent in my bathroom brought up all the sounds and voices from the downstairs room where my dad was always listening to records, or i could hear what my brother was watching on TV, or their conversations about music. at 715 e 2nd, my junior year of college, there was a hole in my floor that led to caitlin's room downstairs and we could whisper very softly to each other and easily hear.
the clean, calm feeling in my head mostly comes from sitting out in the sun today and breathing in fresh air. i know that, and i know that i need to do it more often. i'm sure that this is why i always get so depressed in the winter. lack of sunlight, lack of air - i have to be extra cautious and attentive to this this winter because i'm not even walking around much outside during the day anymore because i'm inside working all day. today, november 11 2006, sunday, i vow to myself to try my hardest not to let the cold weather take its hold of me. not this year. and i won't be alone like last winter. i sleep in a house where other bodies sleep, surrounded by good friends, not only within the walls of this house, but across the street and down the block. also, (and i hope this stays) i've been lucky enough to share my tiny bed and go to sleep and wake up warm.
i think a lot about winter, mostly about how i fear it. but there are some good things to it. christmas break. and maybe, hopefully, i will go on a little vacation besides my break in birmingham (still unsure yet about LA). christmas music. winter music, in general.. i listen to a lot more bjork, air, my bloody valentine, saint etienne, hope sandoval, dirty three. accepting the hibernation period. making christmas cards. sparkle of the first snow (though i hate snow). getting warm.
the weekend in music: friday = the blow, buzzcocks, mingus, fela kuti, dance mix (highlights: wolf like me, genius of love). saturday = bowie, do make say think. today = dylan, pj harvey peel sessions, more do make say think.
and in words: marilynne robinson's housekeeping (finished today at bryan park)
i realized on saturday that i am in it.