Update..
well its almost the end of school holidays altough i technically dont start school/ tafe till wed hence the nearly.
anyways for those of you that dont know i finally eventually passed my first placement, and have my second in three weeks *sigh*
I will be asking my teachers ten million questions when i get back to what i can do after this course, as i found out this week that my Heart is most likely going to need an operation in the next year or so.
i dont find out for certain till jan next year but i can feel it inside.. i dont have much energy, i received pulpertations just after a bit of fast walking around the city yesterday,my liver is bad and ive had 3 operations in the last 3 years so something i feel is saying that its going to happen sooner rather than later.
and i know this is what ive kind of been wanting for the last 4 years and have been tormented by the fact of not knowing but to be compleatly honest it scares the living shit out of me!
i dont know what to expect, how ill be before hand, how ill be after, do i have a chance in being slightly normal after this next operation?
just thinking about it makes me cry, im soo tired of always being sick or ill or having something wrong, why couldnt i just be slightly normal.
*sigh*
well im going to leave it at that or ill never get to sleep tonight.
all i know is that im going to do my best this year and try and live life to the fullest but i need you my friends to help me, im not one to go on adventures myself i like being around people i hate being alone, mainly as i feel like im always alone by being so diffrent and i know you all care about me and love me as i love you so please
help me live and enjoy life till i find out for certain what it holds for me, before im unable to live it.
always clarebear
anyways for those of you that dont know i finally eventually passed my first placement, and have my second in three weeks *sigh*
I will be asking my teachers ten million questions when i get back to what i can do after this course, as i found out this week that my Heart is most likely going to need an operation in the next year or so.
i dont find out for certain till jan next year but i can feel it inside.. i dont have much energy, i received pulpertations just after a bit of fast walking around the city yesterday,my liver is bad and ive had 3 operations in the last 3 years so something i feel is saying that its going to happen sooner rather than later.
and i know this is what ive kind of been wanting for the last 4 years and have been tormented by the fact of not knowing but to be compleatly honest it scares the living shit out of me!
i dont know what to expect, how ill be before hand, how ill be after, do i have a chance in being slightly normal after this next operation?
just thinking about it makes me cry, im soo tired of always being sick or ill or having something wrong, why couldnt i just be slightly normal.
*sigh*
well im going to leave it at that or ill never get to sleep tonight.
all i know is that im going to do my best this year and try and live life to the fullest but i need you my friends to help me, im not one to go on adventures myself i like being around people i hate being alone, mainly as i feel like im always alone by being so diffrent and i know you all care about me and love me as i love you so please
help me live and enjoy life till i find out for certain what it holds for me, before im unable to live it.
always clarebear