"Grimm" story: "Disney Never Wrote It Like This"
Title: Disney Never Wrote It Like This
Author: Clare_Lupin
Fandom: “Grimm”
Pairing: Nick/Monroe
Rating: PG
Word count: approx 600
Warnings: none
Summary: “Grimm”-style “Beauty and the Beast” crack!
Disclaimer: “Grimm” is owned by various people who aren’t me. No copyright infringement is intended by me and I’m not making any profit from this piece of fiction.
It was all going horribly wrong. Monroe had kidnapped the beautiful maiden so that they could fall in love and she could save him from the curse that had made him into a monster. Instead she was more interested in tending to a sick horse and Monroe found that his feelings for her were of complete indifference.
When the village mob arrived with pitchforks and burning torches it was just the perfect end to the day. And, probably, to his life.
*
Nick Gaston gazed around the castle with awe. He had never dreamt of seeing somewhere so wondrous.
He caught a movement in one of the rooms on the next floor up and abruptly remembered his mission to save the belle of all France. He raced up the stairs and into the bedroom, confronting the creature within.
“Halt, loathsome Beast, and let me slay thee!” He brandished his sword.
“Really? That’s what you’re going with?” the creature complained. “It doesn’t even make sense: why would I stand still and let you murder me?”
Nick fidgeted and said in what sounded a defensive tone even to him: “It was supposed to be heroic.”
“Melodramatic is the word. And if that was what you were aiming for I would have gone with something more like ‘your hideous countenance profanes the very world it exists in and I will rid it of you’.”
Nick leaned his sword on the wooden floor. “That’s good. A bit much though. I mean you’re not actually unpleasant to look on.”
The beast blinked at him, expression taken aback, and Nick realised that this meeting really wasn’t going the way it was supposed to.
“Don’t kill him!” Juliette yelled as she ran into the room. She came to a halt, panting, and took in Nick’s lowered sword and the way the beast was leaning nonchalantly against a table. “Oh. You’re not.”
“I was thinking about it,” Nick protested and raised his sword again but he must have looked unconvincing as Juliette failed to react and the beast didn’t even bother to unfold his arms.
“No, you shouldn’t,” Juliette said. “He’s not so bad under that scary exterior. Apart from the cranky moods and the sarcasm.”
“A ringing endorsement,” the beast muttered dryly.
“Oh, look: a mermaid!” With this utterance Juliette was running out of the room and into a different story entirely.
“Bye then!” Nick yelled after her irritably. So much for the big rescue.
“Well, it’s probably for the best that she didn’t break the spell,” the beast said. “She never would’ve been happy living here instead of being off on some adventure.”
“She must be crazy,” Nick said without thinking. “I can’t imagine anywhere I’d rather live.”
“Really?” The beast unfolded his arms and walked towards him, a strange expression on his face.
Nick too felt odd, as if all the colours in the room had grown brighter and his mood had suddenly lifted. “It’s a beautiful castle.”
The beast came to a halt in front of him and leaned down to softly kiss Nick’s lips. Nick rose on his tiptoes to return it, passion igniting within him. He was so caught in their kisses that he nearly missed the beast’s transformation into a tall bearded man.
“Oh,” Nick said, taking in the change and finding that yes, this was still the same person who made his heart dance about in his chest. Teasingly he added, “I think I found you sexier as a beast.”
The beast - now no longer a beast - gave a heavy sigh, although his eyes sparkled. “You’re going to be trouble, aren’t you?”
Nick grinned.