catch up
Yea, so I'm now 21. Celebration? eh, not so much so far. I turned on a Sunday, on which I HAD to work. Funds are low because I was out of work for a week with a killer ear infection. And today? Today, I take a day off (unscheduled) for... stress reasons. Can't handle it all sometimes. Things have been a bit difficult, though I know they'll be turning for the better sooner or later. My grandmother's house got struck by lightning and has messed up her electrical. Relationship problems and confusion. Lagging in work, got my worst quality score yet back, but that was right after I got back from being sick.. and I'm stressed because I'm afraid I'm not doing well as I want, and I hated missing a week of work when I was sick. (I know, I could have updated my journal in that time, but I was seriously in that much pain that I could hardly stand being on a computer)
On the bright side, my bursted ear drum healed nicely, apparently, thank God. It more or less drained my bank account... well.. not entirely.. but it gave it a hit. My friends have been great, though.. thanks for the calls, for my birthday and all.. though I'm sorry I missed most of the bday ones because I was working at the time. I'm kinda depressed right now.. for various reasons... Hopefully some time off and catching up sleep will help with that. Tab was nice on my birthday, cake and all.. cleaned out my car while i was sleeping.. that was super sweet... but then, we have this thing where we can fight a lot sometimes. And my cat? She's being a total annoying bitch... She's in heat, but never like before.. and she won't shut the fuck up, especially when a girl can't sleep. It sucks. but yeah... Happy birthday to Tab today. (our birthdays are 2 days apart.) Yesterday was my sister's birthday and tomorrow is my favorite cousin's... (See, part of why I'm stressed? All these important people with important days so close and I never feel like I can measure up as I should)
oh and for those who talk to me on im, I apologize for any messages sent that don't get a response.. sometimes my phone will sign itself online and I have no way of knowing. I will tell it to sign me off and I'll still be getting messages on it... So if you sent me an im and I ignored it, I do apologize. It's likely because my phone can be a bitch sometimes with that.
Anyway, I feel sad... I want to be doing more right now, but then again, right now I also feel like doing absolutely nothing at all, and the two extremties are pulling at my extremeties. I kinda want to withdraw from it all and give up, let everything slip away.. but then I'm too much of a coward to do that... and part of me can never really let go of anything. Damn packrat that I am, in a lot of ways...
But it was nice to drain my thoughts out... perhaps someone will read them. Good day to you all.
On the bright side, my bursted ear drum healed nicely, apparently, thank God. It more or less drained my bank account... well.. not entirely.. but it gave it a hit. My friends have been great, though.. thanks for the calls, for my birthday and all.. though I'm sorry I missed most of the bday ones because I was working at the time. I'm kinda depressed right now.. for various reasons... Hopefully some time off and catching up sleep will help with that. Tab was nice on my birthday, cake and all.. cleaned out my car while i was sleeping.. that was super sweet... but then, we have this thing where we can fight a lot sometimes. And my cat? She's being a total annoying bitch... She's in heat, but never like before.. and she won't shut the fuck up, especially when a girl can't sleep. It sucks. but yeah... Happy birthday to Tab today. (our birthdays are 2 days apart.) Yesterday was my sister's birthday and tomorrow is my favorite cousin's... (See, part of why I'm stressed? All these important people with important days so close and I never feel like I can measure up as I should)
oh and for those who talk to me on im, I apologize for any messages sent that don't get a response.. sometimes my phone will sign itself online and I have no way of knowing. I will tell it to sign me off and I'll still be getting messages on it... So if you sent me an im and I ignored it, I do apologize. It's likely because my phone can be a bitch sometimes with that.
Anyway, I feel sad... I want to be doing more right now, but then again, right now I also feel like doing absolutely nothing at all, and the two extremties are pulling at my extremeties. I kinda want to withdraw from it all and give up, let everything slip away.. but then I'm too much of a coward to do that... and part of me can never really let go of anything. Damn packrat that I am, in a lot of ways...
But it was nice to drain my thoughts out... perhaps someone will read them. Good day to you all.