it's the illusion, really
Even though I had posted many entries about why I was not going to join facebook, I appear to have done so today. How long will I stay on? 5 minutes. I have already left. I wanted to see how much spam I end up getting on there...how much pointless updates and things I'll have to weed through to even find the solace of the illusion of friendship and connection. What stopped me? Was it the layout again? That's one reason. The colours and setup really screw around in my head and give me a headache. I'm not sure why. Was it the list of 20 people who wanted to add me as friends, 3 of whom I actually knew??? I'm not sure. I didn't finish the profile phase this time...was it the amount of work and effort required to set up such a thing? Is it I feel the entire existance of such a site does not really matter? Could be. I understand its popularity, I understand the marketing aspects and things...but I'm still not really comfortable with it. I tried. I flippin' tried. 5 minutes is all it takes for the urge to want to be a part of everyone else to leave. 5 minutes for me to return to who I am to where I'm comfortable. 5 minutes to realize I don't really want to have people posting things on my "wall" that, while sometimes cute, really have to real meaning or interest to me personally. I much prefer the face-to-face communication of the real world. Not the frozen 2-dimensional social network set. Maybe I didn't really give it a fair chance. That could be. Maybe that's just where I am now. Maybe all I want is some guidance. One person to help me. One person to influence me to make these choices and take these steps....maybe that's all that I have left.