Not the best "Self Love" post. (inadequate orange)
It's weird having a boyfriend that is really good at music. I should be insanely proud to have him as a boyfriend (and I am) but sometimes I get frustrated because I'm not at all talented in that way. We sing and play songs together, and sometimes I do some percussion, but that's about it. When it comes down to actually writting songs, I suck. The other day he told me I should write lyrics to a melody he came up with and I was like umm... "I don't know how to write lyrics".. it is honestly really foreign to me. So I asked him how to write a song and he said that for him its just like "intuition". It seems like it just comes naturally to him, and is one of those things you can't really teach.
Well for some reason, it frustrates me, It's like, you can get better at making art or drawing the human body, or you can get better at sewing if you practice.. but when It comes to writing a song, I guess you just have to have the talent for it.
A couple of weeks ago him and I played at open mic together, I sang and he sang, and played guitar. After, everyone kept telling him how AMAZING he was and no one said anything about me. I mean, I didn't contribute a whole lot I guess, but It still kinda blew. Oh well. And I really don't want to be the girlfriend that feels that way. Like inferior to her boyfriend and feeling greatly overshadowed. Is any of this making sense?
I guess I just need to do more things and keep myself busy and GET A JOB to validate myself more... But it seems like the only motivation I have, is to work. Artistically, I have been really lazy and unmotivated, and really easily distracted and restless when I try and sit down and do something, which is really annoying. It seems like today I'm in a really weird, dark place. Fuck my life.
On a more positive note, the man is talented, and here is his stuff: www.myspace.com/junggod
The song "Treading Lemons (We're in Love)", is about me :).
And from the album he recorded in 2007.. www.myspace.com/believescribble Which is one of the best albums I've heard. Especially "Yo Chlo" and "I wanna be your Christ". Actually, they're all pretty amazing.
Feel free to add me on myspace, my screen name is Witch Baby.
xxkisses.