something should last for more than one day....
it seems everything and it's permanence, or even its semi permanence....is falling through.
i'll go back to my new years resolution for 2007: "i want to be happy this year"
let's see. FUCK YOU. new years resolution. the second i feel my eyes are above water level from paddling like hell to not slip into depression, another flood gate is opened. maybe not a rush of water, but a slow trickle right on my head. where i know the waters getting deeper & deeper, not to mention the water dripping on my head is flat out annoying.
i miss my family, but i'm staying here for my daughter.
i'd like my daughter to be with me, but i know i am in no mental state nor financial state to support her. the best thing is to let her father take care of her, it's it's driving me crazy.
i'm trying to get a better job, but i have to be patient to see how it pans out. i dont have the patience, simply because i don't have the time.
i want to get a bigger place to live so that i can do the things i NEED to do.
my back up job that will support me while this new job pans out just fell out from underneath me.
that's at LEAST $350 a week, *poof*... fucking gone.
now i will make the same in two weeks i'd have made in one night.
i'm becoming more & more dependent on friends. i can't do that. i know i have good friends, but seriously, i'm no mooch.you help me out, when you need help, i help you out. but i feel that people don't see that side of me.
a great friend of mine is totally helping me out right now, but she thinks i'm unappreciative sometimes... say, if i dont change the cat litter. understandable. but then i also feel like shes holding over my head and i cant fucking deal with it any more.
one more month and itll be all equal and i think my minds issues will be a bit more solved. maybe.....
ramble ramble.
-c
i'll go back to my new years resolution for 2007: "i want to be happy this year"
let's see. FUCK YOU. new years resolution. the second i feel my eyes are above water level from paddling like hell to not slip into depression, another flood gate is opened. maybe not a rush of water, but a slow trickle right on my head. where i know the waters getting deeper & deeper, not to mention the water dripping on my head is flat out annoying.
i miss my family, but i'm staying here for my daughter.
i'd like my daughter to be with me, but i know i am in no mental state nor financial state to support her. the best thing is to let her father take care of her, it's it's driving me crazy.
i'm trying to get a better job, but i have to be patient to see how it pans out. i dont have the patience, simply because i don't have the time.
i want to get a bigger place to live so that i can do the things i NEED to do.
my back up job that will support me while this new job pans out just fell out from underneath me.
that's at LEAST $350 a week, *poof*... fucking gone.
now i will make the same in two weeks i'd have made in one night.
i'm becoming more & more dependent on friends. i can't do that. i know i have good friends, but seriously, i'm no mooch.you help me out, when you need help, i help you out. but i feel that people don't see that side of me.
a great friend of mine is totally helping me out right now, but she thinks i'm unappreciative sometimes... say, if i dont change the cat litter. understandable. but then i also feel like shes holding over my head and i cant fucking deal with it any more.
one more month and itll be all equal and i think my minds issues will be a bit more solved. maybe.....
ramble ramble.
-c