Spontaneousness or w/e(*Well what do you expect*)
This is the coolest story in the world...!
*AHEM*
NOTE: THIS STORY IS NOT FOR THE WEAK OF HEART NOR THE WEAK OF MIND. IT CONTAINS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC SCENES WHICH MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR THOSE WHO ARE EASILY FRIGHTENED. IF YOU FEEL SECURE ENOUGH TO CONTINUE WITH THIS STORY THEN HEED THIS: THOSE WHO ARE EASILY FRIGHTENED WILL BE HORRIFIED, THOSE WHO ARE NOT EASILY FRIGHTENED WILL BE HORRIFIED AS WELL. THANK YOU AND ENJOY.
Once upon a time, there lived a terrifying monster. This terrifying monsters' name was Richard. Richard was ugly, mean, and he had not brushed his teeth in 12 thousand years! *gasp* Yes my friends Richard was not a dentist by any means. And nor by any means is this story about dentists. No, no. This story is about Vanity. Vanity is a sweet, caring girl. She lives in an old wooden cottage on the hillside over looking the village. Surrounding the cottage lies a beautiful bed of sweet sprinkled roses and daffodills. She is the most beautiful child in all the land. And her mother beats her. He father is crazy and sleeps on the roof. And she sleeps in the same bed as the cow.
Vanity ran away from home last night. She is three. She took the cow along with her. Vanity came to travel very far. She ventured all the way to the castle of The Great King King. King King had no family, nor any friends. He wasnt even really a king. He had inherited the castle by killing his widowed father with a power saw. King King even still drinks out of the same goblet that caught the blood of his father so as to not stain the pure-white carpet. Yes, he had a power saw on carpet. In fact, that was King Kings' only possesion that might have some worth.
So anywho, Vanity arrived at the glorious mold-stained castle of King King. She gladly swam across the bile filled lake. Shes actually a wonderful swimmmer. But she dirtied her bruised face and therfore had no motavation whatsoever to swim gracefully. King King heard the stirring of his still waters and ran to greet the doomed intruder. He opened his door. Looked around. Nothing. So he closed the door and went to bed early for the night. After all, he loved going to bed early during the coldest winter nights. And Vanity and her cow, whose name happens to be La-Fon-Duh, curled up next to the mold beds and slept wonderfully. Actually, La-Fon-Duh had a nightmare about her sister, MooLanie, and woke up the entire colony of wasps. Which then happened to swarm around the heads of Vanity and her cow, the same cow which happened to contract Mad Cow Infection from the fiasco. And, being mad, the cow ran away to the nearest pasture and made love to all the other cows who then contracted the incurable-and-extremely-contagious Infection.
And Vanity was alone, stabbed with the stings of those flying creatures desperate to avenge their unwanted awakening. She began to cry. And as the bloody tears fell from her swollen eyes, King King sat and took the first bite of his Life. And because Life is so crunchy, the sound of her wails was muffled. After he finished his breakfast, he saw the mangled little girl and began to weep. She remined him so much of his dead mother. So ugly and yet so beautiful all at the same time. He quickly got the coat on his back and took it off, only to place it in the fire to kindle it. Vanity rushed inside as fast as her little legs could carry her. She tripped on the carpet and fell and hit her head. Vanity lie in a coma. The poor King King did not know what to do. He had not ever in his life unintentionally done something like this. He had no plan! No clue!
However, Vanity was telepathic. And so was Richard! (*previously mentioned above*) She telepathically said, "Hello Richard. This is your consciousnce (sp? w/e)... Richard.. you stink!"
"No thats not very nice now im gonna eat you"
And Richard followed his consciousnce and came and ate the sleeping Vanity. And King King lived horribly ever after! The End