Dear Accelerated Reader,
AR*, I know this has been said before by many others in somewhat different words, but I feel that the emotions behind them are different enough for me that I must say them yet again.
AR, you are stupid.
But no, that isn't fair. That makes it seem like you don't run well, like there are too many typos in your system. But that isn't true. Your system runs smoothly enough, and maybe at the beginning you seemed like a good idea, but looking at you right now, the idea of you is stupid.
No, don't bring that out here. Yes, when we tested for individual reading levels in third grade using your system, you tried to win me over by giving me the highest range in the class, a whopping 5.0 to 13.0 when everyone else topped off at 6.0. You said I could read books at a college level, so much higher. Yes, it was nice. I got excited and was filled with warm fuzzies. But still, AR, that doesn't change what I think is stupid about you, because that isn't it.
Oh yes, you were probably a brilliant idea when they first came up with you. You would get kids to read more, get them to love books. You would make all of their lives so much better in the long run.
Yes, I remember reading back then. I read a lot. I wanted to keep up with that 13.0. I wanted everyone to know that I loved books. But you know what, AR? I didn't love books. I merely liked them. Yes, I read a lot, but that didn't mean I loved it. I loved the reputation it gave me. I liked the stories, sure, but there are many other ways to get those. You see, AR, you didn't make me love reading. All you did was trick me into thinking that I did. And yes, I will admit that it was good for me in the long run, when I picked up Harry Potter and Septimus Heap and realized that there were books out there that were amazing, with amazing stories that I could live in. Thank you for that. But this isn't about that right now.
Because you see, after that, I did love reading. But it had absolutely nothing to do with you. After I got my first glimpse into Harry Potter, I was hooked. I got my own copies of the books. I could not put them down. There are even ketchup stains on some of them from when I read while I ate. And you see, AR, I had never done anything like that with a book I found through you.
After that, I discovered Barnes and Noble. I found my own books. We started to drift away along our separate paths. Everyone else would complain about it, but I would only nod and test on the books that I loved, the ones I didn't get from the library, even though they were way below my level. And there you lurked, but I tried to sort of smile at you, and kept my distance.
But now, AR, we meet again. It has been years, and now we are face to face again. I can see you have changed, but only subtly, though I am now in eighth grade, and in English 1. I wonder, did you know I would end up here, feeling like maybe I would do well in an even more challenging class?
But AR, I'm sure you know very well that I am in fact failing at the moment, and badly at that. You should know all about that, because you are the reason I am. Yes, I do know that this is a high school credit class, and that I should be able to handle it. But you know why I've been trying to avoid you all semester? Frankly, it's because I want to read what I love, not what I'm forced to pick up though your guidelines. Really, you think it would be easier, wouldn't you? But they are forcing me through it, forcing me to read books that are above the 6.0 mark. But this is only a problem, AR, because you say that all of the books I want to read are below that. You say that fourth graders, fifth graders should be reading them, when in fact I think we both know that they shouldn't. I mean, swearing is one thing, but sex? Really?
And not just that but I see a lot of kids who hate reading. And you know, maybe they still would even if you weren't around, but maybe some of them would. Maybe if they didn't have that constant pressure they could just let go and enjoy their book. I mean, I can feel myself resenting it now. Resenting you now.
And you know what, AR? Somewhere in the time where I didn't know you, you became a monster. Or maybe you were just a monster all along, and back then, I just happened to be friends with you. But now I see it. But I also see that it isn't your fault, not completely. You are not a bad system, but you are a broken one, and at large, it's at the fault of the system that made you, the one that broke you, and maybe even me, for letting you break in my eyes.
I'm sorry that I had to say all this, but it's true. And even if I did get some of this wrong, the feelings that drove me to writing this are true. I'm sorry.
- Claire
*(Note: AR, or Accelerated Reader, is a program at my school where we have to read and test on books that are set at a certain reading level, going by grade. For example, 1.0-1.9 is first grade level, 2.0-2.9 is second grade level, and so on. The school library is set up just for the system, with stickers on the spines of the books telling us what grade level they are, and also how many points the book's test is worth. The tests are computerized and multiple choice, and though many books are entered into the system, the library is severely lacking in new YA books, with a lot of old contemporary and the classics lining the shelves. Another thing is that the reading level of the books are in complete whack, with completely inappropriate books labeled as a fourth grade level, along with most current YA books. Also, grades in English classes rely heavily on the system, meaning if you don't get enough points, you fail the entire class.)