in the moment when we decide if the innocent live and the guilty die

[scarffaceless]

Who: Hester Shaw, The Joker, Anna Feng
When: Sunday night (backdated)
What: The phantom thief meets someone who can work on his level
Where: Anna Feng's house
Warnings: twisted humor

Comments

[laff_a_lympics]

The Joker had been busy that night. He had decided to let the crime wave recede slowly, hitting less and less houses over the weekend, then planning on hitting a few more as the week wore on and finally stopping, as if the thief were getting lazy.

A thief slowly getting bored with stealing, what a good joke!

The Joker hadn't wanted to break any windows in this house, he wasn't absolutely sure nobody was home, so he was busy with his handmade implements trying to get the door open.

As he worked, and stifled his incessant giggling behind his ironic rubber clown mask, he thought about what he'd do to this house.

Leave the fridge open and throw away good food? Steal nothing but panties? Turn every chair in the house upside down? He'd have to see what he had to work with as soon as he got inside.

He finally broke the deadbolt, and slowly worked the door open. This was going to be HILARIOUS!

[scarffaceless]

She'd had no time to wrap her face for sleep. Oh, she could sleep that way but it gave her the feeling of choking.

Joker might have been surprised to see a girl with horrific scars mangling half her face at the head of the stairs.

Then again, that was probably the kind of thing he lived for.

She lept down them, landing in a crouch, then springing up and into a silent but murderous charge, the soldier's knife gleaming in the thin moonlight that made it through the gauzy kitchen curtains.

[laff_a_lympics]

The Joker's head popped up at the sound of the woman landing at the bottom of the stairs, coming at him fast with a combat knife gripped in her fist.

Hilarious indeed.

Of course, the Joker always carried a knife with him too, but he didn't want to fight this girl inside the house. So, with a high pitched giggle, the joker spun around and took off like a shot back out the front door.

The Joker bolted at top speed toward the large, empty field somewhat close tot he house he was attempting to break into.

He also had the gun that looked all too real, but only popped out a flag that said "BANG"...so the Joker decided to have some fun as he made it to the field, the girl close at his heels. He pulled his "gun" out, made a sudden stop, and raised the realistic weapon up to her head.

[windflowerfeng]

At dinner than night, Anna had been to over joyed to have Hester home, and after her young ward had turned in for the night, Anna had polished off a bottle of wine and then fallen quite blissfully into her silk sheets.
At first she had not heard the sounds downstairs, but the distinctive soft thump as Hester hit the bottom of the stairs pulled her out of her sleep, and wide awake in an instant.
Laying very still she tried to listen.
There was someone in her house...

Oh, they picked the WRONG house to rob

[scarffaceless]

"Stay there! Please!" She barked in the general direction of the house. It was foolish to expect that, but she had to try. This was the only thing she could do to pay Ms. Anna back for all her kindness to her and she was quite good at it.

A rather disturbing growl issued from Hester's throat as she pursued her prey. She dodged corn plants, was scraped by brambles. The colorful man was lit by the moon, making the clown mask seem fat and greasy.

He stopped. She kept going. So close in fact, that she had no time to stop (this situation had seemed hauntingly familiar). It was enough, in fact, that she fell backwards, which due to her speed turned into a comical baseball slide under the burglar's legs (was that...a rolled up piece of paper in the barrel as it tracked her?). She pulled his feet out from under him by the pants leg and they went scrambling in the dirt

[laff_a_lympics]

As soon as Hester had him pinned, the Joker pulled his gun up between them, pointing it directly at her face.

"No false moves, honey," he said, his voice oddly muffled by the rubber clown mask, "or my little friend here goes boom...hahahahahahahahahaha."

The Joker tensed all of his muscles, to force himself to stop laughing. His grin under his mask was face-splitting. This was immensely interesting...incredibly funny.

His chest convulsed in an odd manner, obviously from his attempts to hold back his laughter.

[scarffaceless]

Hester did the unexpected. She leaned down, barrel touching the place where she lacked all feeling.. The experience was like getting almost date-raped by a snarling gargoyle. "Go ahead. Eight years i've 'ad this. I never got the chance to end me misery, but 'ere I am wif a posh opportunity ta do it an' give you a murder rap while i'm at it...Assuming Ms. Anna don't catch up to us an' do you wif 'er double barrel before. So please, pull that bloody trigger. Facefuck me wif brass an' powder. Splatter me brains all over that gaudy suit 'a yours."

[laff_a_lympics]

The Joker stared at her for a long moment, completely stock still.

He suddenly then burst out into the devil's own absolutely insane laughter. He couldn't stop himself, he laughed and flailed and shook underneath Hester's knee for probably a solid two minutes before he finally regained control of himself.

In a low, gravelly voice the Joker said "Oh, I LIKE you!" With that, the Joker pulled his gun far enough away from her face to pull the trigger.

All that emitted from his "gun" was a loud POP, and a flag unfolding that said "BANG" on it.

[scarffaceless]

Alright that had been a bluff. There was a genuine /Oh shit/ moment. Her heart skipped a beat (because really, with what her brain was telling it, why bother?).

She giggled a moment too. The crazy laughter was disturbing but infectious, and she found herself grinning as she forced one of his hands over his shoulder. The knife hooked the top of the clown mask. She pulled up to reveal...One of the freshmen. Well well.

"If ya like me that much, you'll do a little deal wif me."

[laff_a_lympics]

The Joker began giggling again, kicking his feet against the ground behind Hester.

"A deal! I LOVE deals...as long as they can turn into a good JOKE!" The Joker started laughing again, this time stifling it as quickly as he could.

"So, what do you propose?" He said with his horrific grin spreading across his face.

[scarffaceless]

"Oh, that's what I want!" Christ this was unsettling, even for her. "I want you ta make our school nurse's life real fu'in' amusin' for the next couple months. I know you can do it. Sign your work 'T.V.'. My end a' the deal is ta tell noone you was ever 'ere."

Far away she heard Ms. Anna calling her name and swearing in Mandarin. She eased the pressure and let him up. "Looks like that's your cue ta' make a narrow escape after a li''le struggle." A momentary pause and the mangled rictus smiled too. "Got you, ya bastard!" She yelled and kicked him into a strip of trees and undergrowth.

[laff_a_lympics]

The Joker stifled his giggles. "Sure thing, sweetheart-" was all he could manage to get out before Hester interrupted, kicking him.

The Joker giggled loudly as he rolled into the trees, quickly slipping his mask back on before springing back up. He took off into the brush, his insane laughter echoing through the night air.