It started out all innocence

[agentmoreau]

Who: Elena and Tifa
When: Very late Sunday night, into the early Monday hours
Where: The Lantern, the local 24-hour diner
What: Clearing the air, and then...

Comments

[agentmoreau]

Elena noticed Tifa's sudden shift in mood, but decided not to comment on it until the waiter walked off "Zack, huh? I'm Elena. I'm just going to have a cup of coffee and an order of fries," she said. "I already ate dinner, and I'm really not that hungry." She paused. "On second thought, bring two cups and leave the pot."

Zack grinned - did he ever stop grinning? - and went off to get their food, and Elena turned to Tifa. "It's really no big deal," she muttered. "Just some things about... well, some things. That have been bottled up for some time." She paused. "I guess I should start with that, huh? Well, my sister Diana was in the Marines, and her unit was ambushed in February. IED. Five casualties, Diana included." Elena paused. "My parents... liked her better." It was an understatement of all the problems they had, but she had to start small. No sense in dumping the whole life story right away.

"So when Reno started in on that, I just lost it. I mean, Diana and I didn't get along too great, but most of that was because of our parents. If we were left to ourselves, we didn't do too bad." She absently traced the grain of the table with her finger.

[foldedsteel]

"...I was an only child," Tifa murmured instead of offering something stupid and sugary like 'oh I'm so sorry' or 'you must miss her a lot'. "I can't imagine what it's like to lose a sister--you fought, a lot? I'd imagine...sisters on TV always do that." She tried to smile, but it came out weak and trembling. "But you never got to...make up, huh? That's--that's got to be rough." Dammit, her voice was starting to tighten up; this wasn't about her. This wasn't supposed to be about her. This was Elena's time. Hell, if anyone needed to talk about her family it was this girl. "Someone I cared about died, right after I fought with her. She--we--...never saw it coming. I insulted her and...next thing I knew..."

Tifa lifted her eyes to Elena's, though everything in her was warning her against it. She didn't like people to see her tears, and watery eyes counted. "Anyway...yeah. It's...kinda hard to smile after you lose someone like that. Even a big fake one, yeah? You just kinda want to hole up in a corner and stick a knife into anyone who tries to drag you out--or...maybe that's just me, all my anger and revenge and stuff. It's hard to understand when you've never lost someone. You ever...wonder if she died for a good reason?" she asked softly. "If...she died for someone else's mistakes, for someone else's stupid idea, someone else's greed or lust for power or--"

This wasn't about her dad, she reminded herself. This was Elena's story. Or it was supposed to be. But as she sympathized she realized that she hadn't told anyone about her own family--Reno didn't count; she hadn't told him about it. She'd informed him. He was aware. But she hadn't really gotten to talk about it, and something in her desperately wanted to.

...Maybe someday, that would be okay. But Elena had to stop hating her first. "S-sorry," she coughed, shifting in her side of the booth to lean her back against the wall, feet up on the seat. "Don't answer that if you don't want to..."

[agentmoreau]

Elena looked up at Tifa, kind of stunned and a little guilty. She was obviously carrying so much pain of her own, and here Elena was dumping hers on top of it. But... but the last person Elena had talked to about this had been Reno, and he'd almost been to guilty about not being there for her to really listen. "We had a non-speaking truce," Elena said slowly. "When we were younger we got along a lot better; she was always better than me in school, but it wasn't so pronounced until she got accepted into Annapolis, and then went out for the Marines. My parents were so proud of her - and meanwhile I was barely scraping by in my classes. I called her and... well, I tried to congratulate her but I just ended up screaming at her. So, the truce."

Elena shook her head, remembering how patient Diana had been with her. Diana had always understood in a way that Elena kind of wished she didn't - it was easier to hate her that way. "But we did talk. Over Thanksgiving, the last time I saw her, I was living with Zero but I slept at home every once in a while. We talked at night, we went to the firing range, that kind of thing."

As for the second part of the question - "And that's one of the things Diana and I used to fight about. War. I asked her how she could stand being over there, fighting in a war that was a lie. And she said that she was proud of herself, because her unit was doing rescue and aid work, not any killing." Elena paused, remembering Diana's screaming terror that night, and how she had just babbled at Elena about collateral damage whose body counts reached the double digit. "I'm not sure how proud of herself she was toward the end," Elena said quietly, blinking rapidly to get sudden tears out of her eyes.

[foldedsteel]

Against all logic, Tifa smiled. "Sometimes...good people end up doing bad things," she mused softly. "My dad--" Her voice caught unexpectedly and she coughed, then shook her head. "He was the only family I had by then," murmured the girl, though she didn't specify when exactly 'then' was. "He was a good man; he worked hard, loved me, tried to...make the world a better place for me, you know. Good father stuff. But...he was in the cartel in Vegas, and he usually only did hacking and stuff, money laundering, but...I bet he went through his share of bloodier missions. But--" she looked at Elena almost fiercely, "that doesn't mean he was a bad person, or that he didn't do things he could be proud of."

She smiled weakly, hooking her hair behind her ear. "Diana...probably went over there to make a difference. And she was proud of herself, because she changed lives for the better. But...just like my dad, that had a cost, right? Sometimes, to get the chance to make things better for some people--civilians in Diana's case, my dad's family in his--you end up in a position where you...have to do things you know are wrong."

Her eyes lifted to Elena's again. "My dad used to say the key to moving on was to remember the good things you've done, and the...things you still have. When my mom got killed, he--" She couldn't even talk anymore, so she just laughed. "He had to be strong, for me. Maybe...the reason she fought with you about her work was because she had to be strong about it. She couldn't show you all her doubts because...she wanted you to be able to look up to her." Shaking her head, she admitted, "I don't know for sure. But...it's possible, you know? People do a lot of weird things when they can't stand what they're doing with themselves."

[agentmoreau]

Elena sighed explosively. "I don't know. I guess I never will - not for a good long while, at least." Elena smiled weakly at Tifa. "I just feel... really silly, I guess," she said. "I mean, we didn't even get along, and I didn't see it happen - not like Reno did, with his poor aunt. I feel like such an idiot for not being able to get over it. There are bigger problems I could be dealing with, you know?

She shook her head, scowling. "I'm still mad at him, though. Why is he such a fucking idiot? He acts like he was the only one worried sick. After everything he's told me about what happened, a call like that makes me think there's definite gunfire involved, and when I didn't get a follow-up after a few minutes I-" she clenched her fist in memory of exactly how worried she had been.

Looking up, she saw that Zack was making his way back over to the table with a tray balanced on one hand.

[1stclassfair]

"Here you are, girls," Zack said brightly, putting down his tray. He unloaded a coffee pot and two mugs, pouring them both a cup of coffee without waiting for an argument from either of them. He passed Elena her fries and turned to Tifa.

"I know you didn't order these," he said, and put a second order of fries down in front of her, "so don't worry about it. It's on the house." He winked, smiled, and picked up his tray and walked away before she could protest.

Sounds like some pretty serious business over there, he thought, glancing sidelong at the table. He didn't mean to eavesdrop, but when they were practically the only people sitting in his section, it made it kind of hard not to.

[foldedsteel]

"G--thanks--" Tifa managed bewilderedly as Zack set down a basket of fries in front of her, the boy vanishing off triumphantly after doing his good deed for the day. What a nice guy...

"He..." Tifa laughed weakly. "Reno's...kind of retarded. He says things he doesn't mean--or, well...that makes him sound like a liar. I mean he...well, you know. He says things in a bad way. He was trying to explain himself--he was really worried about you. He thought...well, he told you what he thought." Blowing out a sigh, she just chuckled. "You've got every right to be upset. He didn't call you back to let you know to stand down, and that was pretty shitty. ...But it was awful nice of you to spend those hours tense and worried about him. You're a good friend."

Pausing, she considered for a moment and then segued, "You, uh...so Reno told you, about Lula." A broken cough escaped her and she confessed, "She was...the one I was bitching at...when she died. Sniped straight through the window, bullet meant for me. She--gods, her baby and--" Tifa coughed again, grabbed her coffee, and took a long long drag of it black. She hated black coffee, but the bitterness was distracting. "I-it's okay, Elena. You don't have to justify, or rationalize hurting. So you didn't see her die. So you never got along. So what? I didn't know my mom too well before she died; I was only eight when we got shot--...ugh, nevermind. This wasn't supposed to be about me..."

Tifa picked at her fries then, trying to keep her mouth full so she wouldn't say anything else. Apparently she utterly failed at being a compassionate listener.

[agentmoreau]

"I can't help worrying about him," Elena said, staring at her fry basket. "He's... he's one of my only friends here. I mean, he helped me a lot earlier this year, and it's kind of. Well."

Elena paused, swirling her coffee, and then looked up at Tifa. "Look, Tifa," she said, and then paused. "I'm really sorry about the party. I was kind of drunk and I didn't really pay attention, but... I know you guys are together, and I'm not going to get in the way. You guys seem happy, so I mean..." she sighed. "Take care of him?" she finished, in a smallish voice.

[foldedsteel]

Tifa found herself smiling at Elena's would-be apology, and she just waved a hand. "Nah, don't worry about it. This ain't even in-fighting in my book. I was in the cartel--" She'd meant it as a reminder, but the look on Elena's face told her that Reno had failed to mention that part. "...Well, it seems your secrets aren't the only ones he keeps safe. ...Yeah, I'll take care of him. ...Thanks."

Sighing, she popped a fry into her mouth. "...So he didn't tell you, then? Well that explains a lot--I figured you knew. No wonder you got so pissed--basically, uh...the cartel tried to kill me and they shot Lula instead, and...then as we were bailing, Reno and I, they shot me in the arm and Reno just floored it all the way to a hospital in Utah and then we wound up back here..." She pushed a hand through her hair.

"I...didn't realize he already had a girl, that he had...a something with you, before he left. I just got here and had it tossed into my lap, and it's no one's fault but...he's kind of all I have. I don't fault you for anything, but I'd really like to be friends, you know? It'd make all hanging out together a lot less awkward, for one." She smiled. "And you're a great friend to him--hell, there were times he could hardly shut up about you, you know that? I'm not gonna let him lose a friend over me, so...yeah, I'll take care of him." She pointed at Elena's nose over the table, looking stern. "But you gotta stick around and help me out, eh? He's a real handful, you know. And I think he just got so used to me and the way I brush stuff off...he got a lot of insensitivity practice back in Vegas. I mean, we were trying to infiltrate the mob; we couldn't act soft or anything..."

She dredged up a wry grin. "Two years I'd been working for them. They killed my parents, both of 'em, right in front of me, shot me--not just the arm, but back when, right here," she murmured, planting two fingers on the right side of her chest. "I'm kinda...bad at this whole normal social scene. So...I'm sorry. I'm sort of a headcase, and I know it. But ah...if you're in the market for another friend and you don't mind one a little second-hand, then...I'm game."

[agentmoreau]

Elena hardly knew what to say. She dragged the last of her fries through the ketchup and thought the whole situation over again. "This cartel thing is just..." she smiled lopsidedly. "I'm a small-town girl, you know? I mean sure, I lived in Montreal, but the suburban part. I had never even known anyone who died of anything except natural causes until Diana."

She shrugged. "But now I carry a loaded weapon in my car and I keep an eye out. You know? This whole thing is just kind of weird for me." Elena grinned slowly and gestured at Tifa with her french fry. "But you'll be a good friend. You're a friend of Reno's, which is always a plus in my book, and you're listening, which is basically step one. This whole 'normal social scene' isn't that hard. You're a bright girl, you'll catch on."

[foldedsteel]

"God I hope so," she laughed weakly. "I remember being pretty good at faking it, back in Reno. But I've never lived in a small town, so...I'm more used to assaults on the street corner than, like, having everyone know my name. It's seriously like I fell into an episode of Cheers or something. But I've always been a better listener than a speaker in my own right, so I guess I've got that going for me..."

She hesitated, covering up the hesitation with a long sabbatical of french-fry mastication, and then ventured, "Listen, Elena, if you ever need to talk about anything, you've got my number now. I know what it's like, to lose someone, and I'm not gonna think less of anyone, least of all you, for grieving. You don't have to pretend or anything with me, for what it's worth." Polishing off her fries, Tifa grasped her mug of coffee and turned it in her hands thoughtfully. "I never had that, and it kinda sucked. So I guess I'd like to offer it to you, at the very least."

[agentmoreau]

Elena drained the last of her coffee with a smile. "Thanks, Tifa," she said. "You're a good friend. Really."

She turned to look beside her for her purse and then stopped, her smile turning kind of sheepish. "I guess I was too upset to remember that you generally need money to pay for things," she said. "And while I'm sure Mr. Chivalrous over there won't mind your fries coming out of his paycheck, two is just too much to ask for. Could you hold down the table while I run get my purse out of the car?"

[foldedsteel]

"Sure," replied Tifa, nodding a little and taking a long sip of her coffee, watching Elena head outside. The blonde was right, of course--asking Zack to grat their whole bill would be a bit much; he could easily get away with not ringing in a basket of fries, but if there was no bill then there was no tip, and...that was terrible.

She just hoped Elena didn't end up paying for any of the things he'd given Tifa. Their friendship had started out rough enough without Elena having to foot her bill.

[1stclassfair]

Zack wandered up to the table as Elena went outside, picking up the empty fry baskets and glasses. "She forget something in her car?" he asked, busily stacking everything on his arms so he could take it to the kitchen. "I hope she didn't run out on the tab." He winked to show that he was joking and grinned.