Comments | clair_de_lune: Prison Break

clair_de_lune

Prison Break - Aloha, Sadness

Aug 15, 2008 11:28

Title: Aloha, Sadness
Author: clair-de-lune
Character: Debra Jean Belle
Genre: Gen
Rating: PG
Words: ~ 275
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: She heard the news earlier.
Notes: Set post 2.07 Buried. Not beta-read because I’m bold like that. I didn’t want to bug one of my betas since it’s not like a lot of people will actually be ( Read more... )

fanfic: english, fic: one shot, fandom: prison break

Comments 9

msgenevieve August 15 2008, 12:14:58 UTC

God, what are you doing to me? Poor, poor Debra Jean.

This is great, in case I haven't made that clear. *g*

clair_de_lune August 15 2008, 15:33:03 UTC

*pats you* I'm sorry. It looks like re-watching episodes late at night induces sligthly depressing fics.
Thanks a lot ;)

burntcircles August 15 2008, 12:41:59 UTC

I have been waiting for something to write a fic describing Debra Jean's reaction, and this is just perfect. *hugs it*

Just a small suggestion, if I may?

She tried to make understand that to the cop who interrogated her, but the woman didn’t take her seriously.

Perhaps, instead of "make understand", you can try, "explain"?

This is lovely!

clair_de_lune August 15 2008, 15:34:05 UTC

I didn't really care for Tweener, except in the last couple of episodes: they had to make him likable right before they killed him, of course. But Debra Jean and him were a cute pairing, and I think the scenarists gave Tweener a nice scene when he tricks Mahone so he can tell her good bye. And, oh well, it was a small plot bunny ;)

Thanks for the suggestion. I think I might have a gallicism here ^^ I fixed the sentence.

I'm glad you liked this :)

burntcircles August 16 2008, 02:13:41 UTC

I also liked the Tweener-Debra Jean pairing. Tweener also kind of annoyed me until those defining episodes for him in S2--I was close to tears when I finally got to that scene of him saying goodbye to Debra Jean while the FBI were dragging him away...

I really, really liked this. Well-written fics about minor characters have a special place in my fangirl heart.

miss_zara August 16 2008, 06:01:17 UTC

awww.

i love it!

clair_de_lune August 16 2008, 11:01:52 UTC

Thank you :)

darkwriter69 August 17 2008, 10:51:16 UTC

Most peeps forget about poor Debra Jean, but you have written a believable account of how the news would have affected her. Loved it.

clair_de_lune August 17 2008, 14:43:27 UTC

Between the news and all the fuss, poor Debra probably had a hard time ^^
Thanks a lot for the kind comment :)