(no subject)
i should start writing my thoughts down the moment I think of them. I would probably end up getting out of bed a lot if I were to do that though.
Let's start with today. Triss took the dog to the groomers and I went back to sleep. When I woke up I text him to let him know I was up, thank you for sleeping and I was surprised he wasn't home (since it takes a while to get done). Apparently this is accusing him of... god knows what.I made an observation. I was not accusing him of anything.
Last night was 80s night so I got dressed up. I got a new corset last week that I was going to wear to surprise him. I wore that and a skirt and pretended to pull of the 80s punk look. I was waiting for him in the dining room and he comes out and asks if I was sitting there the whole time. He did not say anything about what I was wearing until later when I was explaining that I was originally going to trade in the corset for a different size. He didn't realize it was new (even though I have never worn it before). This one is on me, I Just wanted a compliment from him. My self esteem though has been shot so I thought dressing him for him would help. Guess not.
Last week he went out with his friends late. He did not tell me that he went so I woke up and he was just gone and he was not answering his phone. Queue me freaking out because who just goes out without saying anything to their girlfriend. To me it was suspicious and told him as such. (read: i accused him of cheating on me). he did play a prank on me that kind of led to me thinking that though on top of leaving without telling me.
Since that argument/discussion/whatever it was, i have felt so much better and not felt so... jealous? of him being on the computer.
but
I feel that I am not allowed to say anything without him thinking there is some under lying message in what I say. I have never been like that but apparently since 'all girls are' then that just can not be true.
Yeah, well, all guys say something and mean something else yet he gets mad when I say that to him. How is it any different?
List of things that I wish would happen
Be hugged/kissed without being the one to instigate or without it being because one of us is leaving the house.
I miss being told that I should come to bed vs now being told I will get to bed when I want.
I feel that if we talked instead about things that bugged us at the time they happened that would help. Instead it just built up and then yelling.
There is also a good chance also if i were payed attention to that would help also. You don't touch me for how long and of course I am going to feel like you are doing something stupid behind my back or just be depressed and mopey all the time.
There was so much more in my head the other night but it went away. >.
Let's start with today. Triss took the dog to the groomers and I went back to sleep. When I woke up I text him to let him know I was up, thank you for sleeping and I was surprised he wasn't home (since it takes a while to get done). Apparently this is accusing him of... god knows what.I made an observation. I was not accusing him of anything.
Last night was 80s night so I got dressed up. I got a new corset last week that I was going to wear to surprise him. I wore that and a skirt and pretended to pull of the 80s punk look. I was waiting for him in the dining room and he comes out and asks if I was sitting there the whole time. He did not say anything about what I was wearing until later when I was explaining that I was originally going to trade in the corset for a different size. He didn't realize it was new (even though I have never worn it before). This one is on me, I Just wanted a compliment from him. My self esteem though has been shot so I thought dressing him for him would help. Guess not.
Last week he went out with his friends late. He did not tell me that he went so I woke up and he was just gone and he was not answering his phone. Queue me freaking out because who just goes out without saying anything to their girlfriend. To me it was suspicious and told him as such. (read: i accused him of cheating on me). he did play a prank on me that kind of led to me thinking that though on top of leaving without telling me.
Since that argument/discussion/whatever it was, i have felt so much better and not felt so... jealous? of him being on the computer.
but
I feel that I am not allowed to say anything without him thinking there is some under lying message in what I say. I have never been like that but apparently since 'all girls are' then that just can not be true.
Yeah, well, all guys say something and mean something else yet he gets mad when I say that to him. How is it any different?
List of things that I wish would happen
Be hugged/kissed without being the one to instigate or without it being because one of us is leaving the house.
I miss being told that I should come to bed vs now being told I will get to bed when I want.
I feel that if we talked instead about things that bugged us at the time they happened that would help. Instead it just built up and then yelling.
There is also a good chance also if i were payed attention to that would help also. You don't touch me for how long and of course I am going to feel like you are doing something stupid behind my back or just be depressed and mopey all the time.
There was so much more in my head the other night but it went away. >.