Losing yourself
I'm losing it.
I'm really emotionally unstable. I'm prone to outbursts (much much more than usual), angry, sad, all too often violent.
I feel that I'm like a walking proximity mine.
Too often angry. Too often sad. One moment, I'm hyper, and the next, I feel fucking depressed. Too manic. Too crazy.
I've taken the red string persona too much with people who don't even know about it, and I never do that.
I'm losing touch, if I haven't already. It's like He's back, but it's not him, and just me.
I'm losing whatever faith in humanity I've recovered.
I haven't had a restful night's sleep in more than a week, always dreaming. Dreaming creepy shit, inane situations, always melding different worlds. Mother seriously suggests praying the rosary even when she knows full well I'm mostly agnostic, if not anti-dogma.
I feel like I'm dying. Withering, sort of.
I don't know what's happening. I don't know why it's happening.
I just want to curl up and scream. And I did. And it didn't change anything, save for pain in my throat.
I might be losing my humanity. It might be my humanity rejecting something else.
I don't know anymore.
I'm really emotionally unstable. I'm prone to outbursts (much much more than usual), angry, sad, all too often violent.
I feel that I'm like a walking proximity mine.
Too often angry. Too often sad. One moment, I'm hyper, and the next, I feel fucking depressed. Too manic. Too crazy.
I've taken the red string persona too much with people who don't even know about it, and I never do that.
I'm losing touch, if I haven't already. It's like He's back, but it's not him, and just me.
I'm losing whatever faith in humanity I've recovered.
I haven't had a restful night's sleep in more than a week, always dreaming. Dreaming creepy shit, inane situations, always melding different worlds. Mother seriously suggests praying the rosary even when she knows full well I'm mostly agnostic, if not anti-dogma.
I feel like I'm dying. Withering, sort of.
I don't know what's happening. I don't know why it's happening.
I just want to curl up and scream. And I did. And it didn't change anything, save for pain in my throat.
I might be losing my humanity. It might be my humanity rejecting something else.
I don't know anymore.