spin me round again and rub my eyes, this can't be happening
well, it's official. this week is the week that the unbearable feeling of hating school has set in for me. for some reason, it wasn't even bad last week. but this week is too much to handle. every day i come to school and have noooo motivation. i think it's a combination of the cloudy skies, shitty/cold weather, knowing that exams are next week, and overall hatred of and boredom with our school that is bringing on these feelings.
it's not that i truly HATE pewaukee. it's more that i'm bored with it... bored to the point of insanity. and i am sooo sick of it, that it makes it next to impossible to pay attention in class or get stuff done. it's just not cool.
also, this boredom/insanity has been leaving me in bad moods lately. and i don't like being in a bad mood. but sometimes, throughout the day, i just get so sick of being at school, and the more i think about it, the more my mood plummets. and then i snap at people and act crabby. and that's not cool either. so i'm sorry about that. i guess it's just intense senioritis hitting in.
i suppose it sounds like i'm extremely unhappy... and i'm really not, in the scheme of things. just in the school-aspect of things. which, really, is a huge percentage of our lives right now. but still. other than school, i've been enjoying myself. doing things such as planning our sugar dentistry, in which we mold your mouth with taffy and rinse it out with whipped cream and caramel drizzle.
not a big deal.
that's what we do in our "bio studying time." haha. i love it.
anyway, other stuff has been fine. except for my mom's friend, wendy. my mom and wendy were best friends in high school, and they've stayed very close over the years. except in the past few years, wendy has been battling cancer on and off... and my mom has been doing so much to try to help her... looking up different treatments and alternative medicine online, and visiting her all the time, and going with her to surgeries and treatments. and she was doing fine, for a while, but lately things have been bad. and the doctors just gave her 2-4 weeks to live. she's having surgery on monday, in hopes that they can prolong that time a little bit, but she's just trying to spend all the time she can now with her friends and family.
it's just really hard to watch. and so extremely unfair, because wendy is this amazing person who runs marathons and raised three amazing kids, and this fall, two of her kids had babies so now she's a grandma. and she's just the coolest mom ever... i always admired how cool she is and wanted my mom to be like that.
but, i'd like to think that she didn't just get sick to make her life unfair or difficult... i think that there's a reason for all of this. ugggh. i just hate cancer. so much. and when i think about her husband staying up all hours of the day with her, giving her medication and making her comfortable, at the expense of his own health and sleep, and when i think of the emotional toll it's taking on him, it makes me cry. because that has got to be the absolute hardest thing that you could ever have to do in your life - watch the person you love die. i hate thinking about it, but on the other hand, sometimes i can't stop thinking about it. and it's also hard to watch my mom deal with all of this, because wendy is like a sister to her and i can't even imagine what it's going to be like when she's gone.
sorry this is such a downer entry. i just have been thinking a lot.... and now physics is calling. wooohooo!!!
hope everybody's week is good and that you don't get as insanely annoyed with school as i am.
it's not that i truly HATE pewaukee. it's more that i'm bored with it... bored to the point of insanity. and i am sooo sick of it, that it makes it next to impossible to pay attention in class or get stuff done. it's just not cool.
also, this boredom/insanity has been leaving me in bad moods lately. and i don't like being in a bad mood. but sometimes, throughout the day, i just get so sick of being at school, and the more i think about it, the more my mood plummets. and then i snap at people and act crabby. and that's not cool either. so i'm sorry about that. i guess it's just intense senioritis hitting in.
i suppose it sounds like i'm extremely unhappy... and i'm really not, in the scheme of things. just in the school-aspect of things. which, really, is a huge percentage of our lives right now. but still. other than school, i've been enjoying myself. doing things such as planning our sugar dentistry, in which we mold your mouth with taffy and rinse it out with whipped cream and caramel drizzle.
not a big deal.
that's what we do in our "bio studying time." haha. i love it.
anyway, other stuff has been fine. except for my mom's friend, wendy. my mom and wendy were best friends in high school, and they've stayed very close over the years. except in the past few years, wendy has been battling cancer on and off... and my mom has been doing so much to try to help her... looking up different treatments and alternative medicine online, and visiting her all the time, and going with her to surgeries and treatments. and she was doing fine, for a while, but lately things have been bad. and the doctors just gave her 2-4 weeks to live. she's having surgery on monday, in hopes that they can prolong that time a little bit, but she's just trying to spend all the time she can now with her friends and family.
it's just really hard to watch. and so extremely unfair, because wendy is this amazing person who runs marathons and raised three amazing kids, and this fall, two of her kids had babies so now she's a grandma. and she's just the coolest mom ever... i always admired how cool she is and wanted my mom to be like that.
but, i'd like to think that she didn't just get sick to make her life unfair or difficult... i think that there's a reason for all of this. ugggh. i just hate cancer. so much. and when i think about her husband staying up all hours of the day with her, giving her medication and making her comfortable, at the expense of his own health and sleep, and when i think of the emotional toll it's taking on him, it makes me cry. because that has got to be the absolute hardest thing that you could ever have to do in your life - watch the person you love die. i hate thinking about it, but on the other hand, sometimes i can't stop thinking about it. and it's also hard to watch my mom deal with all of this, because wendy is like a sister to her and i can't even imagine what it's going to be like when she's gone.
sorry this is such a downer entry. i just have been thinking a lot.... and now physics is calling. wooohooo!!!
hope everybody's week is good and that you don't get as insanely annoyed with school as i am.