We gave up we made up its not like you cared...
Well. Its been a weird couple days. We went to the football game on friday. That was..idk alright. Hung out with ravin courtney jess amanada and a few other people. Some interesting things happened. Nothing to do with me. But whatever. I took some pics. Yeah how interesting. Yesterday ravin and her familia picked me up at 1230 ish. We went around clifton park for awhile trying to find costumes for the halloween party. Didnt really work out too well. We saw some dude singing at the mall. Went back to ravins. Ate lunch. Got ready for the party. Left at like quarter after 4. Had to go to ravins sisters game at the highschool. Hung out with josh for like an hour. Left went to get ice cream. Got dropped off at the party a little before 7. Chilled there stuff happned that i can repeat. It kinda sucked. Got picked up at 11. Here i am. Idk. I was alerted at the football game that a certain someone like another someone and then i learned that to be true at the party last night. I guess i act like it doesnt bother me. But it does. Not sure why. But it just makes me feel like..if your like somewhat my friend then you wont do that. But what right do i have to say that because they can say that too. Its not like im the only one. Idk. We played games at the party. We played twister for all of 3 minutes. Then truth or dare. Then spin the bottle. There was alot of making out and it was just insane. I had a little bit of fun. But i guess ravin wasnt having the greatest of time. So i tried to make sure she was okay. Idk it was a big mess. Im not really aloud to repeat stuff that happned. So i wont. Idk. Right now im all blah. I like steve . I really like him. And the more i get all totally liking him then the easier it is for me to get sad. I just have to like tell myself that he doesnt like me, whether its true or not. Just some how make myself believe it and then if he doesnt like me it wont bother me that much and if he did then everything would be okay. But things dont work like that. I wish i was pretty. Theres times when i think i am. But them all you hear about it how all these guys think all these other girls are hott. And im just there. Idk why i get like this. The only reason they like them is probably cuz of the way they dress and they;re all fucking whores. Idk I think im going to go back to when i wore hoodys and baggy pants all the time. I think i was happy then. idk im so lost. I dont know how to make myself happy anymore. Nothing just ever works out right. i have so much homework to do and i cant even think staight. I feel so lonely. Everybody has somebody. Whether it be their best friend their boyfriend/gf brother sister whatever. I dont have a boyfriend. My best friend lives like and hour away and im alone in this tiny little house all the time. And i just sucks. I hate my mom i like when shes not here anyway. I just fucking hate life.