goings on
My house is finding some stability, but we're all strapped for cash now...if it's not one thing, right? But I am not fretting. I have my families, my music, my sleep, and Lisa. I have all I need. I am the most blessed I have ever been. I know what it means to be good, and furthermore, I am committed to being it. Sometimes I get scared, especially when it comes to my love, but she has helped me enough that I can persevere through any of it. I am thinking of moving to Chicago with her, but that will still need more contemplation before I decide. If I have her, I am home. But living in a new, completely alien place is a subject of which I am minimally familiar. I think the promise of such vulnerability is enticing because of how fearlessly she embraces it. To think that some would see her and see weakness is funny to me. No, she isn't immune to doubt, fear, or anxiety, but they never daunt her advance towards her goals, not the least of these is the relentless love we share. It is at once mystifying and grounding, leaving me wondering but not worrying. I've never known such a feeling, and I will enjoy every second of it, for as long as it should last. I don't know what our futures are, but for once, I'm not worried. Better still, I know that I want her in mine. I love you, Lisa.
Life otherwise, is dull. I have a job, but who wants to hear about it. I just make pizzas to make money, and not much either. I'd have to tell you any of the good stories in person. Admittedly, there are a fair bit of them. I don't hate it there, let's put it that way. I have seen some new motivation in Jove to work on his music. I hope he'll allow me to contribute some vocals somewhere on it. He's trying to get a recording device so he can do his music closer to justice. I am also anticipating some creative output from myself in the near future, as fast my head races these days. I know I need to actually sit down and write lyrics before I can sing them, but I find it difficult to articulate my emotions or ideas into anything other than descriptive writing. Welch tells me it doesn't matter as long as I get them down. Maybe I should start writing tomorrow and worry about the musical aptitude later. I need to sing something of my own to find my true voice. If I want to be this, I need to stop putzing around and just do it.
I have now two days off, and I will talk to you when I get done with that. Smile.
Life otherwise, is dull. I have a job, but who wants to hear about it. I just make pizzas to make money, and not much either. I'd have to tell you any of the good stories in person. Admittedly, there are a fair bit of them. I don't hate it there, let's put it that way. I have seen some new motivation in Jove to work on his music. I hope he'll allow me to contribute some vocals somewhere on it. He's trying to get a recording device so he can do his music closer to justice. I am also anticipating some creative output from myself in the near future, as fast my head races these days. I know I need to actually sit down and write lyrics before I can sing them, but I find it difficult to articulate my emotions or ideas into anything other than descriptive writing. Welch tells me it doesn't matter as long as I get them down. Maybe I should start writing tomorrow and worry about the musical aptitude later. I need to sing something of my own to find my true voice. If I want to be this, I need to stop putzing around and just do it.
I have now two days off, and I will talk to you when I get done with that. Smile.