No tears now
The most influential, dynamic, and wholly real person in my life has just found out she may die very soon, and is becoming increasingly sad as a result of everyone else feeling worse about it than she does, apparently. I fought off my tears for her sake until I was alone, and once I was, let's just say the waterworks ran dry as a bone. I can't even think of a world without Jenn in it, and now it is being thrust on me in a most unforgiving manner. But I have to be strong now, just as much as she is, if only to hold off more crying.
If this is the end, I'll have to hate Ben Gibbard for the rest of my life, for giving us the soundtrack, and making it beautiful. I mean, Death Cab for Cutie? It's like God is laughing at his own fucking jokes. It makes me insane to know I can do NOTHING. The only thing worse is knowing I can't properly express how devastating this is. Yes, in this case, my will should go before any other. Selfish? Then fine, take my life. It is beyond worth it. Please, if the powers that be understand lights on a screen, don't end her. If you do, you will make the world an enemy that would very much enjoy seeing its annihilation.
And yes, there is hope. But I feel the one who could do to have some has given up the fight, like she deserves this...If that is the case, I will have a certain brushstroker to hunt down, literally. He will never know peace if he responsible for this. If this is all a result of his resurfacing, death will be nothing but the mercy I begrudgingly grant us at the end.
Regardless, I will not give up, even if everyone else does. And shame on those that don't value her enough to fight this. Giving up is not an option for anyone but her, and if she does, well, I already told her to find a nice quiet place to hide, because I'll be right fuckin after her, looking to kick her ass for giving up on us.
I love you, Jenn.
If this is the end, I'll have to hate Ben Gibbard for the rest of my life, for giving us the soundtrack, and making it beautiful. I mean, Death Cab for Cutie? It's like God is laughing at his own fucking jokes. It makes me insane to know I can do NOTHING. The only thing worse is knowing I can't properly express how devastating this is. Yes, in this case, my will should go before any other. Selfish? Then fine, take my life. It is beyond worth it. Please, if the powers that be understand lights on a screen, don't end her. If you do, you will make the world an enemy that would very much enjoy seeing its annihilation.
And yes, there is hope. But I feel the one who could do to have some has given up the fight, like she deserves this...If that is the case, I will have a certain brushstroker to hunt down, literally. He will never know peace if he responsible for this. If this is all a result of his resurfacing, death will be nothing but the mercy I begrudgingly grant us at the end.
Regardless, I will not give up, even if everyone else does. And shame on those that don't value her enough to fight this. Giving up is not an option for anyone but her, and if she does, well, I already told her to find a nice quiet place to hide, because I'll be right fuckin after her, looking to kick her ass for giving up on us.
I love you, Jenn.