In chains...
i've had nothing to do all fucking day. i feel sad for some reason... all i've done is try to occupy myself and keep a smile on my face today but now i'm left with a frown. that just proves me effort was fucking wasted. i really hate my fucking family and their fucking bullshit and i feel like i don't have many friends anymore but that doesnt bother me because the friends i have are the best friends i could have.
i have been writing a song for a week or two now and today i took out the main riff and made a new one and rearranged the rest of the riffs and i do believe i like it as much as any popular song. i just need to think about lyrics. there are so many things i could write them about but when i try to do that it just doesn't fucking work at all. guess im just gonna have to think harder about shit thats going on... maybe i'll get some inspiration... or some shit...
i have been fucking tired all day and i don't know why... but at certan times today i felt wired, like right after school, but i don't know why.
i really want to get close someone... someone that has something in common with me and will listen to me but every time i get close to someone like that they always just want to be friends, it really fucking gets me mad too, im getting fed up with it. but it doesnt matter because there isnt a god damn thing i can do about it. at all. i mean, it is completely out of my hands... and i don't know what im gonna do... infact all i can do is set here and wine about it like i am. i can set here and be depressed and alone and i can keep pounding it into myself over and over and make myself feel worse and worse and fucking worse. and i can listen to music... which usually just increases the pounding.
i'm gonna take a moment now, and consider all my friends and my life and the people i love and the people that don't love me and the people that i see at different places... and their expressions... smiles, frowns, tears, blood...
...
if i could tell what you were thinking it would solve all my fucking problems.
...
this is my conlcusion for what would do next...
absolutely nothing.
and thats just because its all i can think of.
this isn't the first time i've realized this, or spoke it for that matter, but,
i hate myself.
i have been writing a song for a week or two now and today i took out the main riff and made a new one and rearranged the rest of the riffs and i do believe i like it as much as any popular song. i just need to think about lyrics. there are so many things i could write them about but when i try to do that it just doesn't fucking work at all. guess im just gonna have to think harder about shit thats going on... maybe i'll get some inspiration... or some shit...
i have been fucking tired all day and i don't know why... but at certan times today i felt wired, like right after school, but i don't know why.
i really want to get close someone... someone that has something in common with me and will listen to me but every time i get close to someone like that they always just want to be friends, it really fucking gets me mad too, im getting fed up with it. but it doesnt matter because there isnt a god damn thing i can do about it. at all. i mean, it is completely out of my hands... and i don't know what im gonna do... infact all i can do is set here and wine about it like i am. i can set here and be depressed and alone and i can keep pounding it into myself over and over and make myself feel worse and worse and fucking worse. and i can listen to music... which usually just increases the pounding.
i'm gonna take a moment now, and consider all my friends and my life and the people i love and the people that don't love me and the people that i see at different places... and their expressions... smiles, frowns, tears, blood...
...
if i could tell what you were thinking it would solve all my fucking problems.
...
this is my conlcusion for what would do next...
absolutely nothing.
and thats just because its all i can think of.
this isn't the first time i've realized this, or spoke it for that matter, but,
i hate myself.