ficlets at the end of the universe
More ficlets for theontd_ai charity drive for Haiti! This is the "sequels and prequels" batch, various pairings and ratings. I just now realised that none of these are porny, but I have a lot of porn coming in the next week or so, so at least there's that. (If you're linked to this post directly and want to see it with the cut tags intact, click here.)
Disclaimer: No disrespect intended to any of the persons depicted herein, who I hope are all living happy and fulfilled lives with their partner(s) of choice. This is purely fictional, and not in any way intended as an accurate representation of reality.
Adam/Kris. 1341 words. PG. For: daemonicangel. High school AU, part of the Six Months 'verse.
Butterfly
Prompt: Graduation/college talk in terms of where they see their relationship going.
Kris always had this idea in his head that he would go away to college. It's not that he doesn't want to be near his family or the friends he grew up with, but he's spent so long feeling different from everyone else that he knows he needs to get away from here or he's never going to outgrow that. It doesn't mean he's not going to come back, it's that he needs a chance to just be himself for a little while and not always be holding something back.
This doesn't change when he starts dating Adam, even though a lot of other things do. No matter what happens between them, Kris has been thinking about this for long enough to know that he still needs to get away. He needs the freedom to finish discovering himself and he's not going to have that if he spends his college years looking over his shoulder.
Maybe that's why they've never talked about it, even though they talk about everything else. How do you say 'I'm falling in love with you, how do you feel about being apart for four years?'
But when spring comes, when everyone's checking their mailboxes for good news, it's not a conversation that can be put off any longer.
"Hey," says Kris, bumping Adam's shoulder with his on their way down the hall between classes.
"Hey yourself," says Adam, his eyes quickly looking both ways even though they're in a crowded hallway so of course there are people around.
"Coming over after school?" he says casually, like they already have plans.
"Sure, yeah," says Adam, equally casual, because he gets it. He gets how they do this thing. "I haven't got rehearsal or anything."
Kris already knows that, though. These days he knows Adam's schedule as well as his own. "Good," he says, and they really do have only a few moments between classes, they're practically already at his door. "I'll see you then."
He raises his index finger at Adam as he turns off to enter the classroom, and even though he isn't looking to see it, he just knows that Adam does the same.
They meet up about a block away from the school, taking different exits and different paths from their last class, and walk the rest of the way together, Kris's messenger bag bumping up against Adam's leg as they walk. It feels a little bit like their chaperone, keeping them from getting too close before they get inside.
Once they're in, though, the lace their fingers together as they head up the stairs to Kris's room, without even having to talk about it, without even having to think about it.
"So," says Kris, stretching out on his bed on his stomach while Adam claims his desk chair, propping himself up on one elbow.
Adam raises his eyebrows. "Usually people follow that up with an actual sentence."
"I know, right," says Kris. "I know." He's not sure how to do this, how to start this conversation. So he doesn't, he just reaches for the two acceptance letters he's received so far and hands them to Adam. One's for the state college that would just mean moving about a half an hour away, if he moved at all. The other's for NYU.
He's still waiting to hear back from California.
"Oh," says Adam as he takes his time reading them through. Or at least looking at them, since he doesn't really need to read past the first couple of lines.
"I know I never said..." Kris starts, then gives a little shrug.
"New York? Really?"
Kris is not, by nature, a great student, which means he had to work really hard throughout high school to be good enough to get into the schools he wanted to get into. He's still not quite top of his class or anything, but between his grades and his SATs and his extra-curriculars, he's earned his ticket out of town.
"I might hate it," admits Kris, "but it would be something new. If I go. What about...I mean, have you heard, about anywhere?"
Adam nods. "There's no way I'm getting into NYU, though," he says. "I'm not sure...."
Kris waits, but he never picks up his train of thought again. "What is it?" he prompts him. "We sort of need to talk about this. I mean...I don't want to make this decision without you."
"I'm not sure I'm even going to college," says Adam finally. "Oh my god, I haven't even told my parents that yet. I haven't told anyone, except you now. I want to make it as a performer, Kris. It's what I want more than anything."
That part isn't a surprise to Kris. When Adam's on stage, he's amazing. He belongs there. But the no college thing definitely is. He just sort of always took it for granted that he would go.
"You can go to school for performing..." says Kris, but it's not really what he wants to say, and he thinks it's not really what Adam wants to hear. Adam wants to know that someone's on his side. "So I guess that means you're not upset that I don't plan to stick around here?"
"What? No!" says Adam. "I'm excited! If you go to school in New York, then we can both...I mean, if that's what you want. I shouldn’t assume."
"Of course it's what I want," says Kris quietly. "Are you kidding me? It's kind of all I've been thinking about since I got the letter. Well, okay, not all I've been thinking about. I mean. I got into NYU, that's pretty cool."
"It's very cool," agrees Adam. "And even if we ended up on opposite coasts, I mean...I would want to try. We could find a way to make it work. That's what the internet is for."
"But we won't be," said Kris, biting on his lip for a moment the letting loose a huge smile.
"But we won't be," said Adam. "We'll be in New York together.
"I should probably tell you, I applied to UCLA, too," said Kris. "I haven't heard back yet."
"Or LA," Adam added quickly. "We'll be in New York or LA together, and it'll be amazing. We'll get a little place just for us, with a cranky old radiator and a view of a fire escape and a back alley. You'll go to classes and I'll act in off-off-Broadway shows."
It's so premature, talking about living together, but it feels so right, too. Kris is going to wait till he hears back from all his schools, but he feels like maybe that's the one for him. Like maybe that's the life he wants to have in which to grow and change and become himself. Or maybe become themselves, together.
"So now we just have to break it to our parents," says Kris.
"Yeah, maybe not today, though," says Adam, which sort of went without saying. Kris's parents already know he's considering going to an out-of-state school, but he doesn’t think they know how serious he is about that. And the thing with Adam...that's something that's definitely a conversation for another day.
"I'm so relieved," says Kris. "Oh my gosh, I'm so excited now!" He would say the last few months of high school are going to be torture now, except that with Adam they're kind of going to be amazing too so he doesn't even feel that impatient.
They would get there.
"So since your parents won't be home for another hour or so..." says Adam, and he doesn't have to finish the sentence that time. Kris knows just where he's going with that. He pushes himself up to a sitting position just to pull his shirt off over his head, then wiggles over to make room for Adam. Adam doesn't waste any time swinging the desk chair back around and joining him on the bed.
"It's going to be amazing," says Kris, right before Adam kisses him.
So many things are going to be amazing.
Adam/Kris. 1040 words. PG. For: oatmeal_cookie. High school AU, part of the Six Months 'verse.
Right on the Horizon
Prompt: Adam POV, some time after they got together - maybe after they came out to their parents, getting ready to graduate and be open about their relationship.
"Sometimes I think about how it'll happen," says Kris, leaning forward onto his elbows and sipping his drink through the straw without touching the can. Knowing Kris that could mean anything, but he's usually pretty good about elaborating on his abbreviated thoughts when Adam nudges him with his foot under the table. Which he does. "I mean, I don't want to plan it or anything. But sometimes I think about just holding your hand somewhere and having that be how everyone finds out."
Oh. Adam shouldn't be surprised he's thinking about that, since it's been on Adam's mind an awful lot too. He's a little surprised it's coming up when they're out in public, having a Coke after school, but maybe that's kind of the point.
"Maybe it will," he says. "Or maybe I'll put my arm around you at the movies."
"We missed our shot at going to prom together, though," says Kris, like that was actually something they would've wanted to do even if it had been a viable option.
"There's a difference between being open and being a spectacle," says Adam, and even though he wants 'spectacle' to be his default setting one day, he's thinking about his performing skills, not his personal life. "I don't want to make the news, I just want to go on a date."
"You think about it, though, right?" says Kris. "You think about how we'll do it?"
"Of course I do," says Adam. "Like, all the time. You don't even know how many times I've almost done it by accident."
Except Kris probably does, because Kris has almost done it a bunch of times too. He almost did it five minutes ago.
"I want to, before we move," says Kris. "I don't want to leave without anyone knowing and then having them find out through the grapevine. After everything, that would just feel...I don't know. Wrong. Kind of like cheating or something."
"I used to be so scared," says Adam, "And I guess I still am a little nervous about it all. You know this is still not exactly the most open-minded town in the world. But if you think I'm going to go all summer without putting some kind of claim on you, you're crazy."
"Oh, you're going to claim me," says Kris with a little smile, like he doesn't know how awesome he is and how lucky Adam feels to be the one who gets to have him. "The summer's so close and it's going to go by so fast."
"But still not fast enough," says Adam, because they're not moving till right at the end of August and that feels like such a long way off right now, such a long time to wait.
Neither Kris's nor Adam's parents, while still wonderfully comfortable with their relationship, were really keen on them moving in together right out of high school. And after looking at New York prices they weren't as confident as they once were that they were ready to afford a place by themselves either. But it turned out that Jim was accepted to NYU too, and between the three of them they found a place they could swing. Just barely.
So they're definitely going to have to make sure Jim at least is clear on the relationship pretty soon. But then based on their conversations about getting a place, Adam's pretty certain Jim's one of the people who's already pretty clear. A lot of things were said without actually being said, and he could tell it was because Jim didn't want to say anything before Adam or Kris had.
"I was talking to Katy last night," said Kris, sipping his Coke again. "She said a bunch of people are going out to the lake the first weekend in July."
"Yeah, I heard something about that," said Adam. "Are you going?"
Kris just nods. "But you too, right? Everyone's going to be there."
"I need to find a job," says Adam though. "If I’m not going to school, my parents are only going to help me out so much. I should save as much this summer as I can."
"We can still go to the lake," says Kris. "We can go to the lake."
And Adam doesn't miss the significance of that. It's not a plan, but it's definitely a suggestion. It's a suggestion that doesn't make his heart pound with sudden panic, doesn't make him want to take Kris home and keep their relationship safe and secret forever. It's something he thinks that maybe they can really do.
Well, okay, it does make him want to take Kris home.
"Are you busy tonight?" he says. "I don't have to study."
"My brother's got a game," says Kris, his disappointment as clear as Adam's own. "I've got to go be supportive."
"Yeah, because your brother's so supportive of you," he mutters in spite of intending to bite his tongue.
"He's trying," says Kris with a little shrug. And as much as Adam wishes it wasn't something a person needed to try to do, it's not so long ago that he was working towards accepting himself, so he's trying to cut him some slack. "I won't be home until late."
He sips again and Adam can hear the slurp of him sucking up the last of the Coke out of the can, a sign that it's almost time to go. Kris has to get home and then he has a game to get to, but Adam's got nowhere to be, so he drinks a little more slowly. And because the conversation makes him feel a little daring, he plays footsie with Kris for about five seconds, safely under the table.
Kris stretches it out a lot longer than that.
"Hey," they're interrupted finally, though, and Alisan is standing there. "Thank god, I thought I wasn't going to find somewhere to sit down."
"I was just leaving," Kris says. "I need to get home. Adam, I'll--"
"I'll call you about the thing later," he says, and Kris smiles and Alisan acts like she doesn't know exactly what they're talking about.
They don't quite kiss good-bye when Kris gets up to leave. But it's the closest they've ever come.
Kris, Jared Padalecki. 960 words. PG-13. For daemonicangel. Crossover with CW RPF, sequel to Catnip.
Hop, Skip and Jump
Prompt: Jared gets a little time off from shooting Supernatural and goes to see one of Kris's shows.
Usually when Jared gets some time off the first thing he does is fly to LA. He's got things to do, people to see, a career to manage, and he needs to be there at least some of the time. But not this time. He's got one day, and that's just time better spent not on an airplane when he'd barely have time to do anything other than turn around and head back again.
It's not going to be a total loss, though, and not even a day-in-with-the-Wii. Kris Allen's got a show in Seattle and that's totally a reasonable drive from Vancouver, even just to go to a show. Even just to go to a show where he doesn't even know if he's going to get backstage.
For all he knows Kris has forgotten all about him and his little show, back to his band and his wife and a life that's a lot more familiar to him. But what's the worst that's going to happen? He'll see what he hears is a pretty good show and maybe have a night out in Seattle. There's no bad there.
And the show is good. He watches from the balcony where a few baffled people nearby snap some pictures of him, even posing for one when a girl shyly asks him in a pause in between numbers when Kris is having a bottle of water. If anyone notices him pausing to watch Kris take that drink, they don't say anything.
What? He's married, not dead. He's totally allowed to look.
When he does try to get backstage afterward it's actually no trouble at all. Well, he doesn't break in or anything, but he identifies himself and it's mere moments before someone has the go-ahead to let him through.
"Hey, stranger," says Kris, a towel hanging loosely around his neck.
"So you were right about being much better at your day job," says Jared.
"I’m going to take that as a compliment," says Kris, though his smirk says otherwise. "But I'm totally withholding refreshments now."
"Oh, you know how to hit me where it hurts," says Jared. "If I tell you you're the most brilliant actor I ever met, can I have a cupcake?"
More than one person cracks up behind him, and Jared makes a guess that Kris's friends know him pretty well.
"Yeah, but he played an angel, right?" says one of the guys. "That's not acting, that's just who he is." Kris looks embarrassed, especially when the guy also ruffles his damp, sweaty hair. "Isn't that right?"
"Quit it," says Kris with a laugh, batting him away. "You're embarrassing me in front of company."
"Oh, if they want to actually embarrass you, they're going to have to step it up," says Jared. "I'd embarrassed you more than that before lunchtime."
"Careful, they might take that as a challenge," says Kris, with both amusement and genuine wariness in his expression. "Jared, this is Andrew, and that's Cale, and that's..." But everyone else is too far away or too busy to introduce. "Well, these two are more than enough for now, I'm sure."
"Yeah, I saw you all on stage," says Jared.
"You were here for the whole show?" says Kris. "You should've told me you were coming. I could've--"
"Had security keep me out?"
"Gotten you better seats," says Kris, wiping the back of his neck with the towel.
"No, that's okay," says Jared. "I'm kind of conspicuous when I'm up front. People throw things at my head."
"Yeah, Kris doesn't have to think about that kind of thing," says Cale. "He's always in the front in family pictures too. And when he did class pictures in school--"
"You didn't even know me till college," says Kris, "you don't get to talk about what I was like in school."
"I've been to his house," says Cale, speaking directly to Jared now. "I've seen every school photo and every embarrassing thing he's even done."
"Thank God I'm not trying to date," says Kris. "I can just imagine how much he'd try to embarrass me then."
"He's obviously jealous," says Jared sagely. A lesser man would have scowled at him, but Cale just laughs. "So I don't know, you guys probably have plans or have to get out of town right away, but I was wondering if you had time for drinks."
"Oh, it is a date," says Cale. "Let me check, I might actually be carrying some embarrassing photos in my wallet to make the occasion official."
"I meant everyone," says Jared, "but I always like to get my hands on some good blackmail material. Come on, cough it up, don't be a tease."
"You should ask his wife," says Cale. "She's really got the goods, and she's not shy about sharing them."
"She's also back in LA," says Kris. "Sure, we're actually in town overnight, so I think we can do drinks. We didn't make other plans, did we?"
"If we did, nobody told me about it," says Andrew, "but then, I'm usually the last to know anyway. Lizzie would know."
"I'll ask Lizzie," says Kris. "But I'm about ninety-two percent certain we're free for drinks, or whatever."
"Tell her I promise not to keep you out late," says Jared. "You guys might be in town for the night, but I have to make the drive back to Vancouver tonight. I'm back on set in the morning. Late call time though, so at least I'll get a few hours of sleep."
Kris gives him a thumbs up and pushes Cale in his direction, presumably for entertainment value, and goes to find out what his plans are. And Jared just feels warm and happy and really glad he came.
Adam/Kris. 1000 words. PG. For daemonicangel. AU, sequel to Serendipity.
The Day Approaches
Prompt: A continuation of the political!Kradam au.
Adam finds him in his office late at night, glasses perched on his nose and so engrossed by the report in front of him that he doesn't even hear Adam come in. Adam clears his throat, and Kris jerks his head up then smiles.
"Please tell me you didn't break in," he says. "If you broke in, I'm going to have a whole lot of explaining to do. And I'd hate to have to have you arrested, that would put a real damper on this relationship."
"I didn't break in," Adam promises him. "I bribed someone."
"What?"
"Kidding, kidding," says Adam. "I signed in like a normal person. I can do things by the book sometimes. Actually, I do things by the book most of the time."
"What time is it anyway?" says Kris, and Adam sees that he has his watch off and his sleeves rolled up. It's kind of hot.
"Late," says Adam, his eyes still on Kris's bare forearms. "Close to eight by now. This place is just about deserted."
"No one likes to work late on a Friday, not even in politics."
"Especially in politics," says Adam, and is rewarded with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Which is also kind of hot, not that he's going to share that particular revelation. Not here and now, anyway; that's a conversation for a little later when he might actually be able to take it somewhere.
"Listen, let's not do this here," says Kris, which Adam hasn't even been thinking about, not seriously anyway. Unless by 'this', Kris doesn't mean 'this'. "I've been staring at these for long enough today already. I can get out of here."
"Something you don't want me to see?"
Kris purses his lips and, to his credit, doesn't lie about it. "Something I shouldn't let you see," he says finally. "Not yet anyway. There's no such thing as off the clock for you."
"Or you," says Adam. "Okay, fair enough." Though professional courtesy wars with professional integrity as he strains to get a glimpse of what Kris was reading. "I won't even pester you about it."
"You wouldn't be you if you didn't at least make a run at it," says Kris, "but I've accepted that. Let me save you some time and tell you you're really not going to get far this time, though." It's both nice and a little intimidating that Kris seems to know him so well when they haven't even been dating for very long. "So did you come in a misguided attempt to rescue me from my paperwork, or was there a greater purpose? We didn't have plans, did we? I'd feel like a real jerk if I forgot we had plans."
"We didn't have plans," said Adam, "but we could, if you really are willing to pack it in for the night."
"More than," said Kris, sliding the papers into a drawer and then locking it behind them. "I'm not sure we should...I mean, not nearby, anyway."
Adam presses his lips together for a moment, but it's not like the request is a surprise. "I know I probably shouldn't have come," he says, "but we've been meeting often enough lately that I didn't think anyone would think anything of it. Everyone knows I'm trying to get a story out of you. After hours or not."
Kris takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes. "I'm glad you came," he says when he looks up again, and he looks like he means it. He looks boyish again, bright-eyed and hopeful. "I like it when you come."
You don't even know what it's like when I come yet, Adam wants to say, but he bites his tongue so he doesn't sabotage what has so far been a fairly straightforward trajectory towards it.
"We can meet at the West End Café," he said after a minute. "They serve a mean panini and if you bring a couple papers people will think you're working and won't bat an eye."
Kris nods absently, then pauses and shakes his head instead. "No papers," he says. "That's premeditated. That's too much like an active lie."
"As opposed to a lie of omission?" says Adam, but not in a pointed way. Kris is the most honest politician he knows, which isn't necessarily the best survival skill. "Just remember that it's better if you say it on your own terms than if someone backs you into a corner."
"Don't talk me out of having dinner with you, Adam," he says, smiling as he locks up the rest of his things. Adam idly wonders if he would have been locking them up if Adam hadn't wandered up into his office. "I'll get there. It's just going to take a little more time."
It's not just that Adam wants to be with someone he can take out for dinner without it being a military operation. Now that he knows Kris a little better he's worried, too, about what might happen to him if he gets caught. Worried that people might even be targeting him for leverage now that he's shown right out of the gate that he's no pushover.
But Kris is a smart guy, and he didn't get where he is by accident. He's had people as tenacious as Adam hounding him since long before he was actually elected to office. Adam knows he could weather anything. He just doesn't want him to have to. He doesn't want Kris to be hurt.
Which tells him just how invested he already is in this fledgling relationship of theirs.
"West End Café," he said again. "Half an hour. I'll meet you there."
"Yes, you will," says Kris, and then there's this pause that Adam knows is meant to be inhabited by a good-bye kiss only neither one of them dares, not here.
So Adam just smiles and nods and slips out of the office again, and wonders what's going to happen when the day comes that Kris finally dares.
Adam/Cassidy. 1321 words. R. For mylar1. Prequel to Those You Can Always Trust.
Better Than You Know
Prompt: A prequel to Those You Can Always Trust.
Cassidy's not a guy who gets his heart broken, because Cassidy's not a guy who gives anyone his heart to break. But that doesn't mean it doesn't get banged around in his chest a little, it doesn't mean he doesn't get upset or angry or burned out sometimes. He might not give his heart away, but he gives a lot of other things.
"I'll be there in about twenty minutes," says Adam, even though Cassidy hasn't asked him to come over, doesn't really like to ask for those things, even when he needs them. But Adam is Adam; he just knows.
It really is about twenty minutes before Adam buzzes up, and in the back of his head Cassidy wonders if Adam's left someone asleep in his bed but then Adam's not someone who would just do that. He'd at least leave a note, or give a goodbye kiss and a quick explanation. He's honest and considerate and maybe that's why he's the one who Cassidy ended up calling when his latest relationship all went terribly wrong.
That is, if he can call something only a month old a relationship, but sometimes it's not as much about when it ends as how.
"I'm fine," says Cassidy, but Adam just looks at him like he's full of shit and closes the door behind himself. Which is fair enough because Cassidy really is full of shit right now.
"You don't have to tell me about it," says Adam. "Unless you've been an exceptional actor lately, I'm pretty sure I can put the pieces together myself."
"I just hate feeling disposable," says Cassidy, and immediately feels vulnerable, like he's given away too much even though it's Adam, and Adam would never use someone else's insecurities as a weapon.
"I know," says Adam instead of 'you're not disposable', which is nice because Cassidy knows that, he doesn't need to be told, he just hates feeling like other people think he is. "It's too quiet in here. I'm putting some music on."
Cassidy's already got a CD in, something that got passed to him from a friend of a friend who thought he would like it, and it's kind of a techno cabaret thing that would wake the neighbors if they turned it up. But they don't, they just let it fill the loft so there's not such a conspicuous silence when they sit down together. Cassidy doesn't want to say anything and Adam doesn't ask, so there really is an unfamiliar silence between them, but not an uncomfortable one.
He doesn't feel like he needs to impress Adam. He doesn't feel like he needs to entertain him. He can just be what he needs to be right now and he's not going to pass or fail in Adam's eyes over any of it. Cassidy's not by nature a person who's self-conscious about his life and his choices, but he has moments, and this is a moment.
"I could stay tonight," says Adam after a little while, feet tucked up under him on the couch while Cassidy draws little designs on his thigh with a fingernail, just to touch him. "I kind of figured I would, actually. I guess I’m more telling you than asking permission."
Cassidy actually laughs, and his fingernail digs in a little harder, enough that Adam might actually feel it through his pants as more than a light caress.
"You don't have to get home?"
"No," said Adam, and if he says it then he means it. "I even brought clean underwear."
"I'm disappointed you brought underwear at all," says Cassidy.
"I like to be prepared," says Adam smoothly, putting his hand over Cassidy's and then lacing their fingers together so that he stops fidgeting. But Cassidy just curls his body around Adam's and runs the fingertips of his other hand up the inside of Adam's arm.
"Where did you get this?" Adam says after a few more moments of silence filled only with the music they've left playing. "Did you go to a show without me?"
"I go to a lot of shows without you," he says, "but I got this from Sara and she got it from...some friend of hers out east. I don't even remember the name of the guys, you can look if you want."
"Maybe later," says Adam, and holds Cassidy's hand, not tighter, but more firmly, more decisively. As if Cassidy might decide to get up and leave if he doesn't, but leaving is the last thing on Cassidy's mind right now. "Maybe once it ends and I need to put something else on."
"I didn't interrupt anything when I called, did I?" says Cassidy. "I probably shouldn't have, but you're usually up. I just didn't think about what you were doing up."
"I was sleeping, actually," says Adam, "but don't worry about that, I don't mind being woken up when it's important."
"I'm not sure I'd call this important."
"I would," says Adam. And maybe that's what his job here is, to remind Cassidy that it's okay that this matters to him, that it's okay that he's roughed up and hurt because someone's decided he's not good enough, that he's let someone get close enough to inflict that kind of pain. That it's not something he needs to pretend isn't happening because he's tough and he's used to it and it's not supposed to matter to him. "If I thought it wasn't, I'd've hung up on you."
"Nice," says Cassidy, but it makes him laugh. "I feel so special."
"You should," says Adam, and when he lets Cassidy's hand go it doesn't feel like he's letting go so much as trusting Cassidy with his freedom. Trusting him to make good choices (when, frankly, both of them have been known to make questionable choices in the past, but sometimes that's just what being young is). Running away is still the last thing on Cassidy's mind.
He lets his hand slide down Adam's shoulder, down his chest, and then over the bulge in his pants, letting it rest there. Adam doesn't stop his progress, but a moment later he lifts Cassidy's hand and moves it over to his thigh again.
"You don't want that," he says.
"Are you sure?" says Cassidy. "Sometimes the best way to get over something is to get right back up on that horse."
Adam is obviously interested, but that's not news; this is nothing new for them. And Cassidy just wants to feel close to someone, to feel valued. Even the smell of Adam next to him, the warmth of his skin, the line of his throat and the smear of slept-in eyeliner, are comforting in their ability to turn him on.
But though Adam stays close he doesn't respond to Cassidy's touches by hauling him over his shoulder and carrying him off to bed. He just runs his palm over Cassidy's leg and takes his hand and lets Cassidy curl his body against his.
And Cassidy slowly realizes that Adam wasn't worried about him running or withdrawing, he was worried about Cassidy falling back on old habits in an effort to bolster his self-esteem.
Anyone else would have just let him. Maybe Adam really does know him, and what he needs, even more than Cassidy does himself.
He doesn't stop touching him but he stops touching him with intent, and the difference is evident in the way he just relaxes and stops worrying about it. And in the way Adam relaxes too.
"Thank you," says Cassidy, "even though that feels like a weirdly inappropriate thing to say right now."
Sometimes he needs to be reminded that even when his heart and soul and ego get a little bruised, there are stronger, kinder and more worthy people in his life.
"No problem," said Adam. "Someday I might be the one who needs this, and I know you'll be there for me too."
A/N: I don't usually do author's notes, but I felt like I should here. I realise this probably wasn't what you were expecting when you asked for this, but as I thought about it I realised that when Adam came to Cassidy in Those You Can Always Trust, what he needed was for him to say yes, but when Cassidy comes to Adam here, what he needs is for him to say no.
Kris, Brad, Adam. 1234 words. PG-13. For azrielen. Sequel to New School.
A New Fantastic Point of View
Prompt: A continuation of the Burning Man ficlet (Bradam+Kris).
"We're not calling him Fido," said Brad as Adam set out a paper-mâché dog right in the middle of their rough circle of chairs. "Unless we're setting him on fire. We can call him Fido if we're setting him on fire."
"We're not setting him on fire," said Adam. "He's our mascot."
"Isn't your mascot supposed to say something about you?" said Brad. "What does your little dog say about us?"
"That we're tenacious," said Adam, "and you're little."
"Which 'you'?"
"All of you," said Adam. "If we're not calling him Fido then what are we calling him?"
"Is it really a him dog?" said Kris. "Or is it a she-dog? How do you even know, with a paper-mâché dog? I doubt it's anatomically correct."
"It's a he-dog," said Adam, "and I know because I said so. What are you doing?"
"I'm checking," said Brad, looking underneath the dog, presumably for genitalia. Kris thought it kind of would've been a little weird if someone put a dick on a paper mache dog, but then weird was just part of the territory around here. "Apparently we need to find a neuter name."
"Maybe he's shy," said Kris, earning a grin from Adam and a scowl from Brad. "What?"
"Come with me," said Brad, straightening up again. "I'm obviously going a little stir crazy. Let Adam finish with the decorating, we're going exploring."
Kris looked at Adam like he would have some kind of objection to this, but Adam just shrugged and put his feet up on the dog. And heck, Kris was about ready to see some things anyway, to get out there and experience something new, something to make him feel like someone new for a little while.
"Don't worry about him, he'll be fine with Michelangelo," said Brad. "Grab your bike."
"Michelangelo?" said Adam. "Seriously?"
"You know you love it," said Brad, flashing him a brilliant smile. "If we're going to have a doggie mascot, it's at least going to be a classy one. If Cassidy comes back, tell him I'm taking his hat, all right? It goes with my shorts."
"Nothing goes with those shorts," said Adam, but he smiled back and Kris kind of envied their easy relationship, knowing just how much history they had with one another. "I'll see you later. Have fun."
It was hard to say whether or not Brad had a destination in mind, but he wasn't pausing at any of the many camps and the many people who were encouraging them to join them as they passed on their way out onto the open playa. Kris was still just looking, just taking it all in, smiling and watching and wishing briefly that he was a little bit flashier. But Kris had always just done his own thing, and he didn't see any reason to change that now. Being true to yourself and expressing yourself didn't always mean body paint and headdresses.
At least he had goggles, even if they were hanging around his neck right now.
"Keep up," said Brad, sounding like he was coming from far away, and Kris realized he'd gotten distracted again by a couple of girls in long skirts and nothing else. They were really colorful skirts.
Since Brad was already turning around to come back for him, Kris stopped his bike where he was and took a look around at the people just going on with their business all around him and feeling like one tiny piece of a very large whole. At least, until someone singled him out.
"Hey, aren't you--?"
"No, but he gets that a lot," said Brad, because he knew Kris wouldn't lie about it. "Isn't he just adorable?"
Kris just smiled and didn't have to say anything at all.
"You're a lucky guy," she said, and Kris wasn't sure if she believed them, or was just going with it in the spirit of the moment.
"I'd be luckier if he'd put out," said Brad, pinching Kris's cheek. "I mean, just look at that mouth." Kris opened his mouth to protest, but that didn't actually help at all. "See what I mean?"
"The week is young," she said, like it was an inevitable conclusion that Kris would give in to Brad's charms before they left the playa. And Kris wasn't saying he wouldn't have, if Brad had actually been using charms on him, except that it seemed to be something that could get really complicated really fast.
"How true, how true," said Brad, giving her a brilliant smile before giving Kris's arm a tug and they were on their way again.
"Thanks," said Kris when they were out of earshot, not only of her but of anyone. Despite the vast numbers of people who swarmed in to form a city, there were moments when you really could feel alone out there. "I didn't want to be mean."
Brad just shrugged. "You deserve to be able to get away from it all for a while as much as the rest of us," he said. "Come on, we're almost there."
"I didn't know we had a destination," said Kris. "I though we were just riding."
"We can't do both?" said Brad, and technically Kris thought they were mutually exclusive, but he guessed you could do one on the way to the other. They were now obviously headed towards a large art installation standing alone on the playa, made up of thin, towering sheets of twisted metal, put together like a gigantic blossoming flower reflecting the light of the sun. Beneath it was a platform and, after dismounting, they sat down on the edge of it. There were a few other people around, but mostly they were alone.
Brad crossed his legs in front of himself and pulled a joint out of his front pocket, offering it to Kris to light up. Which, with a quick look around - just habit, really - he did.
"You're not what I thought you'd be," said Brad when Kris passed it back, holding the smoke while he watched a family of four bike by in the distance, two parents and two children, all of indeterminate sex.
"Yeah, I get that a lot," said Kris. "People get weird ideas about me. I don't know where they come from."
"Oh, don't give me that," said Brad. "You know exactly where they come from. People have expectations about people with your background and you know that perfectly well. It's okay, I'll own my stereotyping. But I think you like subverting it sometimes."
Kris just smiled a little bit, and okay, he might be a little busted on that one. "It's not my fault if they assume things," he said.
And it wasn't his fault if Brad assumed things about him either; with Adam in his life, he should've known better.
"So why here?" said Kris, looking up at the towering flower above him for a moment, both reflecting the sunlight and shielding his eyes from it.
"I just saw it when we were riding," said Brad. "I decided it was going to be our place."
"Our place," repeated Kris, exhaling in a stream of smoke, watching it drift away in front of him. He didn't really lay claim to places, or attach relationships or memories to them, but this was different.
This was someone reaching out to him, and Kris was going to take it.
Disclaimer: No disrespect intended to any of the persons depicted herein, who I hope are all living happy and fulfilled lives with their partner(s) of choice. This is purely fictional, and not in any way intended as an accurate representation of reality.
Adam/Kris. 1341 words. PG. For: daemonicangel. High school AU, part of the Six Months 'verse.
Butterfly
Prompt: Graduation/college talk in terms of where they see their relationship going.
Kris always had this idea in his head that he would go away to college. It's not that he doesn't want to be near his family or the friends he grew up with, but he's spent so long feeling different from everyone else that he knows he needs to get away from here or he's never going to outgrow that. It doesn't mean he's not going to come back, it's that he needs a chance to just be himself for a little while and not always be holding something back.
This doesn't change when he starts dating Adam, even though a lot of other things do. No matter what happens between them, Kris has been thinking about this for long enough to know that he still needs to get away. He needs the freedom to finish discovering himself and he's not going to have that if he spends his college years looking over his shoulder.
Maybe that's why they've never talked about it, even though they talk about everything else. How do you say 'I'm falling in love with you, how do you feel about being apart for four years?'
But when spring comes, when everyone's checking their mailboxes for good news, it's not a conversation that can be put off any longer.
"Hey," says Kris, bumping Adam's shoulder with his on their way down the hall between classes.
"Hey yourself," says Adam, his eyes quickly looking both ways even though they're in a crowded hallway so of course there are people around.
"Coming over after school?" he says casually, like they already have plans.
"Sure, yeah," says Adam, equally casual, because he gets it. He gets how they do this thing. "I haven't got rehearsal or anything."
Kris already knows that, though. These days he knows Adam's schedule as well as his own. "Good," he says, and they really do have only a few moments between classes, they're practically already at his door. "I'll see you then."
He raises his index finger at Adam as he turns off to enter the classroom, and even though he isn't looking to see it, he just knows that Adam does the same.
They meet up about a block away from the school, taking different exits and different paths from their last class, and walk the rest of the way together, Kris's messenger bag bumping up against Adam's leg as they walk. It feels a little bit like their chaperone, keeping them from getting too close before they get inside.
Once they're in, though, the lace their fingers together as they head up the stairs to Kris's room, without even having to talk about it, without even having to think about it.
"So," says Kris, stretching out on his bed on his stomach while Adam claims his desk chair, propping himself up on one elbow.
Adam raises his eyebrows. "Usually people follow that up with an actual sentence."
"I know, right," says Kris. "I know." He's not sure how to do this, how to start this conversation. So he doesn't, he just reaches for the two acceptance letters he's received so far and hands them to Adam. One's for the state college that would just mean moving about a half an hour away, if he moved at all. The other's for NYU.
He's still waiting to hear back from California.
"Oh," says Adam as he takes his time reading them through. Or at least looking at them, since he doesn't really need to read past the first couple of lines.
"I know I never said..." Kris starts, then gives a little shrug.
"New York? Really?"
Kris is not, by nature, a great student, which means he had to work really hard throughout high school to be good enough to get into the schools he wanted to get into. He's still not quite top of his class or anything, but between his grades and his SATs and his extra-curriculars, he's earned his ticket out of town.
"I might hate it," admits Kris, "but it would be something new. If I go. What about...I mean, have you heard, about anywhere?"
Adam nods. "There's no way I'm getting into NYU, though," he says. "I'm not sure...."
Kris waits, but he never picks up his train of thought again. "What is it?" he prompts him. "We sort of need to talk about this. I mean...I don't want to make this decision without you."
"I'm not sure I'm even going to college," says Adam finally. "Oh my god, I haven't even told my parents that yet. I haven't told anyone, except you now. I want to make it as a performer, Kris. It's what I want more than anything."
That part isn't a surprise to Kris. When Adam's on stage, he's amazing. He belongs there. But the no college thing definitely is. He just sort of always took it for granted that he would go.
"You can go to school for performing..." says Kris, but it's not really what he wants to say, and he thinks it's not really what Adam wants to hear. Adam wants to know that someone's on his side. "So I guess that means you're not upset that I don't plan to stick around here?"
"What? No!" says Adam. "I'm excited! If you go to school in New York, then we can both...I mean, if that's what you want. I shouldn’t assume."
"Of course it's what I want," says Kris quietly. "Are you kidding me? It's kind of all I've been thinking about since I got the letter. Well, okay, not all I've been thinking about. I mean. I got into NYU, that's pretty cool."
"It's very cool," agrees Adam. "And even if we ended up on opposite coasts, I mean...I would want to try. We could find a way to make it work. That's what the internet is for."
"But we won't be," said Kris, biting on his lip for a moment the letting loose a huge smile.
"But we won't be," said Adam. "We'll be in New York together.
"I should probably tell you, I applied to UCLA, too," said Kris. "I haven't heard back yet."
"Or LA," Adam added quickly. "We'll be in New York or LA together, and it'll be amazing. We'll get a little place just for us, with a cranky old radiator and a view of a fire escape and a back alley. You'll go to classes and I'll act in off-off-Broadway shows."
It's so premature, talking about living together, but it feels so right, too. Kris is going to wait till he hears back from all his schools, but he feels like maybe that's the one for him. Like maybe that's the life he wants to have in which to grow and change and become himself. Or maybe become themselves, together.
"So now we just have to break it to our parents," says Kris.
"Yeah, maybe not today, though," says Adam, which sort of went without saying. Kris's parents already know he's considering going to an out-of-state school, but he doesn’t think they know how serious he is about that. And the thing with Adam...that's something that's definitely a conversation for another day.
"I'm so relieved," says Kris. "Oh my gosh, I'm so excited now!" He would say the last few months of high school are going to be torture now, except that with Adam they're kind of going to be amazing too so he doesn't even feel that impatient.
They would get there.
"So since your parents won't be home for another hour or so..." says Adam, and he doesn't have to finish the sentence that time. Kris knows just where he's going with that. He pushes himself up to a sitting position just to pull his shirt off over his head, then wiggles over to make room for Adam. Adam doesn't waste any time swinging the desk chair back around and joining him on the bed.
"It's going to be amazing," says Kris, right before Adam kisses him.
So many things are going to be amazing.
Adam/Kris. 1040 words. PG. For: oatmeal_cookie. High school AU, part of the Six Months 'verse.
Right on the Horizon
Prompt: Adam POV, some time after they got together - maybe after they came out to their parents, getting ready to graduate and be open about their relationship.
"Sometimes I think about how it'll happen," says Kris, leaning forward onto his elbows and sipping his drink through the straw without touching the can. Knowing Kris that could mean anything, but he's usually pretty good about elaborating on his abbreviated thoughts when Adam nudges him with his foot under the table. Which he does. "I mean, I don't want to plan it or anything. But sometimes I think about just holding your hand somewhere and having that be how everyone finds out."
Oh. Adam shouldn't be surprised he's thinking about that, since it's been on Adam's mind an awful lot too. He's a little surprised it's coming up when they're out in public, having a Coke after school, but maybe that's kind of the point.
"Maybe it will," he says. "Or maybe I'll put my arm around you at the movies."
"We missed our shot at going to prom together, though," says Kris, like that was actually something they would've wanted to do even if it had been a viable option.
"There's a difference between being open and being a spectacle," says Adam, and even though he wants 'spectacle' to be his default setting one day, he's thinking about his performing skills, not his personal life. "I don't want to make the news, I just want to go on a date."
"You think about it, though, right?" says Kris. "You think about how we'll do it?"
"Of course I do," says Adam. "Like, all the time. You don't even know how many times I've almost done it by accident."
Except Kris probably does, because Kris has almost done it a bunch of times too. He almost did it five minutes ago.
"I want to, before we move," says Kris. "I don't want to leave without anyone knowing and then having them find out through the grapevine. After everything, that would just feel...I don't know. Wrong. Kind of like cheating or something."
"I used to be so scared," says Adam, "And I guess I still am a little nervous about it all. You know this is still not exactly the most open-minded town in the world. But if you think I'm going to go all summer without putting some kind of claim on you, you're crazy."
"Oh, you're going to claim me," says Kris with a little smile, like he doesn't know how awesome he is and how lucky Adam feels to be the one who gets to have him. "The summer's so close and it's going to go by so fast."
"But still not fast enough," says Adam, because they're not moving till right at the end of August and that feels like such a long way off right now, such a long time to wait.
Neither Kris's nor Adam's parents, while still wonderfully comfortable with their relationship, were really keen on them moving in together right out of high school. And after looking at New York prices they weren't as confident as they once were that they were ready to afford a place by themselves either. But it turned out that Jim was accepted to NYU too, and between the three of them they found a place they could swing. Just barely.
So they're definitely going to have to make sure Jim at least is clear on the relationship pretty soon. But then based on their conversations about getting a place, Adam's pretty certain Jim's one of the people who's already pretty clear. A lot of things were said without actually being said, and he could tell it was because Jim didn't want to say anything before Adam or Kris had.
"I was talking to Katy last night," said Kris, sipping his Coke again. "She said a bunch of people are going out to the lake the first weekend in July."
"Yeah, I heard something about that," said Adam. "Are you going?"
Kris just nods. "But you too, right? Everyone's going to be there."
"I need to find a job," says Adam though. "If I’m not going to school, my parents are only going to help me out so much. I should save as much this summer as I can."
"We can still go to the lake," says Kris. "We can go to the lake."
And Adam doesn't miss the significance of that. It's not a plan, but it's definitely a suggestion. It's a suggestion that doesn't make his heart pound with sudden panic, doesn't make him want to take Kris home and keep their relationship safe and secret forever. It's something he thinks that maybe they can really do.
Well, okay, it does make him want to take Kris home.
"Are you busy tonight?" he says. "I don't have to study."
"My brother's got a game," says Kris, his disappointment as clear as Adam's own. "I've got to go be supportive."
"Yeah, because your brother's so supportive of you," he mutters in spite of intending to bite his tongue.
"He's trying," says Kris with a little shrug. And as much as Adam wishes it wasn't something a person needed to try to do, it's not so long ago that he was working towards accepting himself, so he's trying to cut him some slack. "I won't be home until late."
He sips again and Adam can hear the slurp of him sucking up the last of the Coke out of the can, a sign that it's almost time to go. Kris has to get home and then he has a game to get to, but Adam's got nowhere to be, so he drinks a little more slowly. And because the conversation makes him feel a little daring, he plays footsie with Kris for about five seconds, safely under the table.
Kris stretches it out a lot longer than that.
"Hey," they're interrupted finally, though, and Alisan is standing there. "Thank god, I thought I wasn't going to find somewhere to sit down."
"I was just leaving," Kris says. "I need to get home. Adam, I'll--"
"I'll call you about the thing later," he says, and Kris smiles and Alisan acts like she doesn't know exactly what they're talking about.
They don't quite kiss good-bye when Kris gets up to leave. But it's the closest they've ever come.
Kris, Jared Padalecki. 960 words. PG-13. For daemonicangel. Crossover with CW RPF, sequel to Catnip.
Hop, Skip and Jump
Prompt: Jared gets a little time off from shooting Supernatural and goes to see one of Kris's shows.
Usually when Jared gets some time off the first thing he does is fly to LA. He's got things to do, people to see, a career to manage, and he needs to be there at least some of the time. But not this time. He's got one day, and that's just time better spent not on an airplane when he'd barely have time to do anything other than turn around and head back again.
It's not going to be a total loss, though, and not even a day-in-with-the-Wii. Kris Allen's got a show in Seattle and that's totally a reasonable drive from Vancouver, even just to go to a show. Even just to go to a show where he doesn't even know if he's going to get backstage.
For all he knows Kris has forgotten all about him and his little show, back to his band and his wife and a life that's a lot more familiar to him. But what's the worst that's going to happen? He'll see what he hears is a pretty good show and maybe have a night out in Seattle. There's no bad there.
And the show is good. He watches from the balcony where a few baffled people nearby snap some pictures of him, even posing for one when a girl shyly asks him in a pause in between numbers when Kris is having a bottle of water. If anyone notices him pausing to watch Kris take that drink, they don't say anything.
What? He's married, not dead. He's totally allowed to look.
When he does try to get backstage afterward it's actually no trouble at all. Well, he doesn't break in or anything, but he identifies himself and it's mere moments before someone has the go-ahead to let him through.
"Hey, stranger," says Kris, a towel hanging loosely around his neck.
"So you were right about being much better at your day job," says Jared.
"I’m going to take that as a compliment," says Kris, though his smirk says otherwise. "But I'm totally withholding refreshments now."
"Oh, you know how to hit me where it hurts," says Jared. "If I tell you you're the most brilliant actor I ever met, can I have a cupcake?"
More than one person cracks up behind him, and Jared makes a guess that Kris's friends know him pretty well.
"Yeah, but he played an angel, right?" says one of the guys. "That's not acting, that's just who he is." Kris looks embarrassed, especially when the guy also ruffles his damp, sweaty hair. "Isn't that right?"
"Quit it," says Kris with a laugh, batting him away. "You're embarrassing me in front of company."
"Oh, if they want to actually embarrass you, they're going to have to step it up," says Jared. "I'd embarrassed you more than that before lunchtime."
"Careful, they might take that as a challenge," says Kris, with both amusement and genuine wariness in his expression. "Jared, this is Andrew, and that's Cale, and that's..." But everyone else is too far away or too busy to introduce. "Well, these two are more than enough for now, I'm sure."
"Yeah, I saw you all on stage," says Jared.
"You were here for the whole show?" says Kris. "You should've told me you were coming. I could've--"
"Had security keep me out?"
"Gotten you better seats," says Kris, wiping the back of his neck with the towel.
"No, that's okay," says Jared. "I'm kind of conspicuous when I'm up front. People throw things at my head."
"Yeah, Kris doesn't have to think about that kind of thing," says Cale. "He's always in the front in family pictures too. And when he did class pictures in school--"
"You didn't even know me till college," says Kris, "you don't get to talk about what I was like in school."
"I've been to his house," says Cale, speaking directly to Jared now. "I've seen every school photo and every embarrassing thing he's even done."
"Thank God I'm not trying to date," says Kris. "I can just imagine how much he'd try to embarrass me then."
"He's obviously jealous," says Jared sagely. A lesser man would have scowled at him, but Cale just laughs. "So I don't know, you guys probably have plans or have to get out of town right away, but I was wondering if you had time for drinks."
"Oh, it is a date," says Cale. "Let me check, I might actually be carrying some embarrassing photos in my wallet to make the occasion official."
"I meant everyone," says Jared, "but I always like to get my hands on some good blackmail material. Come on, cough it up, don't be a tease."
"You should ask his wife," says Cale. "She's really got the goods, and she's not shy about sharing them."
"She's also back in LA," says Kris. "Sure, we're actually in town overnight, so I think we can do drinks. We didn't make other plans, did we?"
"If we did, nobody told me about it," says Andrew, "but then, I'm usually the last to know anyway. Lizzie would know."
"I'll ask Lizzie," says Kris. "But I'm about ninety-two percent certain we're free for drinks, or whatever."
"Tell her I promise not to keep you out late," says Jared. "You guys might be in town for the night, but I have to make the drive back to Vancouver tonight. I'm back on set in the morning. Late call time though, so at least I'll get a few hours of sleep."
Kris gives him a thumbs up and pushes Cale in his direction, presumably for entertainment value, and goes to find out what his plans are. And Jared just feels warm and happy and really glad he came.
Adam/Kris. 1000 words. PG. For daemonicangel. AU, sequel to Serendipity.
The Day Approaches
Prompt: A continuation of the political!Kradam au.
Adam finds him in his office late at night, glasses perched on his nose and so engrossed by the report in front of him that he doesn't even hear Adam come in. Adam clears his throat, and Kris jerks his head up then smiles.
"Please tell me you didn't break in," he says. "If you broke in, I'm going to have a whole lot of explaining to do. And I'd hate to have to have you arrested, that would put a real damper on this relationship."
"I didn't break in," Adam promises him. "I bribed someone."
"What?"
"Kidding, kidding," says Adam. "I signed in like a normal person. I can do things by the book sometimes. Actually, I do things by the book most of the time."
"What time is it anyway?" says Kris, and Adam sees that he has his watch off and his sleeves rolled up. It's kind of hot.
"Late," says Adam, his eyes still on Kris's bare forearms. "Close to eight by now. This place is just about deserted."
"No one likes to work late on a Friday, not even in politics."
"Especially in politics," says Adam, and is rewarded with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Which is also kind of hot, not that he's going to share that particular revelation. Not here and now, anyway; that's a conversation for a little later when he might actually be able to take it somewhere.
"Listen, let's not do this here," says Kris, which Adam hasn't even been thinking about, not seriously anyway. Unless by 'this', Kris doesn't mean 'this'. "I've been staring at these for long enough today already. I can get out of here."
"Something you don't want me to see?"
Kris purses his lips and, to his credit, doesn't lie about it. "Something I shouldn't let you see," he says finally. "Not yet anyway. There's no such thing as off the clock for you."
"Or you," says Adam. "Okay, fair enough." Though professional courtesy wars with professional integrity as he strains to get a glimpse of what Kris was reading. "I won't even pester you about it."
"You wouldn't be you if you didn't at least make a run at it," says Kris, "but I've accepted that. Let me save you some time and tell you you're really not going to get far this time, though." It's both nice and a little intimidating that Kris seems to know him so well when they haven't even been dating for very long. "So did you come in a misguided attempt to rescue me from my paperwork, or was there a greater purpose? We didn't have plans, did we? I'd feel like a real jerk if I forgot we had plans."
"We didn't have plans," said Adam, "but we could, if you really are willing to pack it in for the night."
"More than," said Kris, sliding the papers into a drawer and then locking it behind them. "I'm not sure we should...I mean, not nearby, anyway."
Adam presses his lips together for a moment, but it's not like the request is a surprise. "I know I probably shouldn't have come," he says, "but we've been meeting often enough lately that I didn't think anyone would think anything of it. Everyone knows I'm trying to get a story out of you. After hours or not."
Kris takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes. "I'm glad you came," he says when he looks up again, and he looks like he means it. He looks boyish again, bright-eyed and hopeful. "I like it when you come."
You don't even know what it's like when I come yet, Adam wants to say, but he bites his tongue so he doesn't sabotage what has so far been a fairly straightforward trajectory towards it.
"We can meet at the West End Café," he said after a minute. "They serve a mean panini and if you bring a couple papers people will think you're working and won't bat an eye."
Kris nods absently, then pauses and shakes his head instead. "No papers," he says. "That's premeditated. That's too much like an active lie."
"As opposed to a lie of omission?" says Adam, but not in a pointed way. Kris is the most honest politician he knows, which isn't necessarily the best survival skill. "Just remember that it's better if you say it on your own terms than if someone backs you into a corner."
"Don't talk me out of having dinner with you, Adam," he says, smiling as he locks up the rest of his things. Adam idly wonders if he would have been locking them up if Adam hadn't wandered up into his office. "I'll get there. It's just going to take a little more time."
It's not just that Adam wants to be with someone he can take out for dinner without it being a military operation. Now that he knows Kris a little better he's worried, too, about what might happen to him if he gets caught. Worried that people might even be targeting him for leverage now that he's shown right out of the gate that he's no pushover.
But Kris is a smart guy, and he didn't get where he is by accident. He's had people as tenacious as Adam hounding him since long before he was actually elected to office. Adam knows he could weather anything. He just doesn't want him to have to. He doesn't want Kris to be hurt.
Which tells him just how invested he already is in this fledgling relationship of theirs.
"West End Café," he said again. "Half an hour. I'll meet you there."
"Yes, you will," says Kris, and then there's this pause that Adam knows is meant to be inhabited by a good-bye kiss only neither one of them dares, not here.
So Adam just smiles and nods and slips out of the office again, and wonders what's going to happen when the day comes that Kris finally dares.
Adam/Cassidy. 1321 words. R. For mylar1. Prequel to Those You Can Always Trust.
Better Than You Know
Prompt: A prequel to Those You Can Always Trust.
Cassidy's not a guy who gets his heart broken, because Cassidy's not a guy who gives anyone his heart to break. But that doesn't mean it doesn't get banged around in his chest a little, it doesn't mean he doesn't get upset or angry or burned out sometimes. He might not give his heart away, but he gives a lot of other things.
"I'll be there in about twenty minutes," says Adam, even though Cassidy hasn't asked him to come over, doesn't really like to ask for those things, even when he needs them. But Adam is Adam; he just knows.
It really is about twenty minutes before Adam buzzes up, and in the back of his head Cassidy wonders if Adam's left someone asleep in his bed but then Adam's not someone who would just do that. He'd at least leave a note, or give a goodbye kiss and a quick explanation. He's honest and considerate and maybe that's why he's the one who Cassidy ended up calling when his latest relationship all went terribly wrong.
That is, if he can call something only a month old a relationship, but sometimes it's not as much about when it ends as how.
"I'm fine," says Cassidy, but Adam just looks at him like he's full of shit and closes the door behind himself. Which is fair enough because Cassidy really is full of shit right now.
"You don't have to tell me about it," says Adam. "Unless you've been an exceptional actor lately, I'm pretty sure I can put the pieces together myself."
"I just hate feeling disposable," says Cassidy, and immediately feels vulnerable, like he's given away too much even though it's Adam, and Adam would never use someone else's insecurities as a weapon.
"I know," says Adam instead of 'you're not disposable', which is nice because Cassidy knows that, he doesn't need to be told, he just hates feeling like other people think he is. "It's too quiet in here. I'm putting some music on."
Cassidy's already got a CD in, something that got passed to him from a friend of a friend who thought he would like it, and it's kind of a techno cabaret thing that would wake the neighbors if they turned it up. But they don't, they just let it fill the loft so there's not such a conspicuous silence when they sit down together. Cassidy doesn't want to say anything and Adam doesn't ask, so there really is an unfamiliar silence between them, but not an uncomfortable one.
He doesn't feel like he needs to impress Adam. He doesn't feel like he needs to entertain him. He can just be what he needs to be right now and he's not going to pass or fail in Adam's eyes over any of it. Cassidy's not by nature a person who's self-conscious about his life and his choices, but he has moments, and this is a moment.
"I could stay tonight," says Adam after a little while, feet tucked up under him on the couch while Cassidy draws little designs on his thigh with a fingernail, just to touch him. "I kind of figured I would, actually. I guess I’m more telling you than asking permission."
Cassidy actually laughs, and his fingernail digs in a little harder, enough that Adam might actually feel it through his pants as more than a light caress.
"You don't have to get home?"
"No," said Adam, and if he says it then he means it. "I even brought clean underwear."
"I'm disappointed you brought underwear at all," says Cassidy.
"I like to be prepared," says Adam smoothly, putting his hand over Cassidy's and then lacing their fingers together so that he stops fidgeting. But Cassidy just curls his body around Adam's and runs the fingertips of his other hand up the inside of Adam's arm.
"Where did you get this?" Adam says after a few more moments of silence filled only with the music they've left playing. "Did you go to a show without me?"
"I go to a lot of shows without you," he says, "but I got this from Sara and she got it from...some friend of hers out east. I don't even remember the name of the guys, you can look if you want."
"Maybe later," says Adam, and holds Cassidy's hand, not tighter, but more firmly, more decisively. As if Cassidy might decide to get up and leave if he doesn't, but leaving is the last thing on Cassidy's mind right now. "Maybe once it ends and I need to put something else on."
"I didn't interrupt anything when I called, did I?" says Cassidy. "I probably shouldn't have, but you're usually up. I just didn't think about what you were doing up."
"I was sleeping, actually," says Adam, "but don't worry about that, I don't mind being woken up when it's important."
"I'm not sure I'd call this important."
"I would," says Adam. And maybe that's what his job here is, to remind Cassidy that it's okay that this matters to him, that it's okay that he's roughed up and hurt because someone's decided he's not good enough, that he's let someone get close enough to inflict that kind of pain. That it's not something he needs to pretend isn't happening because he's tough and he's used to it and it's not supposed to matter to him. "If I thought it wasn't, I'd've hung up on you."
"Nice," says Cassidy, but it makes him laugh. "I feel so special."
"You should," says Adam, and when he lets Cassidy's hand go it doesn't feel like he's letting go so much as trusting Cassidy with his freedom. Trusting him to make good choices (when, frankly, both of them have been known to make questionable choices in the past, but sometimes that's just what being young is). Running away is still the last thing on Cassidy's mind.
He lets his hand slide down Adam's shoulder, down his chest, and then over the bulge in his pants, letting it rest there. Adam doesn't stop his progress, but a moment later he lifts Cassidy's hand and moves it over to his thigh again.
"You don't want that," he says.
"Are you sure?" says Cassidy. "Sometimes the best way to get over something is to get right back up on that horse."
Adam is obviously interested, but that's not news; this is nothing new for them. And Cassidy just wants to feel close to someone, to feel valued. Even the smell of Adam next to him, the warmth of his skin, the line of his throat and the smear of slept-in eyeliner, are comforting in their ability to turn him on.
But though Adam stays close he doesn't respond to Cassidy's touches by hauling him over his shoulder and carrying him off to bed. He just runs his palm over Cassidy's leg and takes his hand and lets Cassidy curl his body against his.
And Cassidy slowly realizes that Adam wasn't worried about him running or withdrawing, he was worried about Cassidy falling back on old habits in an effort to bolster his self-esteem.
Anyone else would have just let him. Maybe Adam really does know him, and what he needs, even more than Cassidy does himself.
He doesn't stop touching him but he stops touching him with intent, and the difference is evident in the way he just relaxes and stops worrying about it. And in the way Adam relaxes too.
"Thank you," says Cassidy, "even though that feels like a weirdly inappropriate thing to say right now."
Sometimes he needs to be reminded that even when his heart and soul and ego get a little bruised, there are stronger, kinder and more worthy people in his life.
"No problem," said Adam. "Someday I might be the one who needs this, and I know you'll be there for me too."
A/N: I don't usually do author's notes, but I felt like I should here. I realise this probably wasn't what you were expecting when you asked for this, but as I thought about it I realised that when Adam came to Cassidy in Those You Can Always Trust, what he needed was for him to say yes, but when Cassidy comes to Adam here, what he needs is for him to say no.
Kris, Brad, Adam. 1234 words. PG-13. For azrielen. Sequel to New School.
A New Fantastic Point of View
Prompt: A continuation of the Burning Man ficlet (Bradam+Kris).
"We're not calling him Fido," said Brad as Adam set out a paper-mâché dog right in the middle of their rough circle of chairs. "Unless we're setting him on fire. We can call him Fido if we're setting him on fire."
"We're not setting him on fire," said Adam. "He's our mascot."
"Isn't your mascot supposed to say something about you?" said Brad. "What does your little dog say about us?"
"That we're tenacious," said Adam, "and you're little."
"Which 'you'?"
"All of you," said Adam. "If we're not calling him Fido then what are we calling him?"
"Is it really a him dog?" said Kris. "Or is it a she-dog? How do you even know, with a paper-mâché dog? I doubt it's anatomically correct."
"It's a he-dog," said Adam, "and I know because I said so. What are you doing?"
"I'm checking," said Brad, looking underneath the dog, presumably for genitalia. Kris thought it kind of would've been a little weird if someone put a dick on a paper mache dog, but then weird was just part of the territory around here. "Apparently we need to find a neuter name."
"Maybe he's shy," said Kris, earning a grin from Adam and a scowl from Brad. "What?"
"Come with me," said Brad, straightening up again. "I'm obviously going a little stir crazy. Let Adam finish with the decorating, we're going exploring."
Kris looked at Adam like he would have some kind of objection to this, but Adam just shrugged and put his feet up on the dog. And heck, Kris was about ready to see some things anyway, to get out there and experience something new, something to make him feel like someone new for a little while.
"Don't worry about him, he'll be fine with Michelangelo," said Brad. "Grab your bike."
"Michelangelo?" said Adam. "Seriously?"
"You know you love it," said Brad, flashing him a brilliant smile. "If we're going to have a doggie mascot, it's at least going to be a classy one. If Cassidy comes back, tell him I'm taking his hat, all right? It goes with my shorts."
"Nothing goes with those shorts," said Adam, but he smiled back and Kris kind of envied their easy relationship, knowing just how much history they had with one another. "I'll see you later. Have fun."
It was hard to say whether or not Brad had a destination in mind, but he wasn't pausing at any of the many camps and the many people who were encouraging them to join them as they passed on their way out onto the open playa. Kris was still just looking, just taking it all in, smiling and watching and wishing briefly that he was a little bit flashier. But Kris had always just done his own thing, and he didn't see any reason to change that now. Being true to yourself and expressing yourself didn't always mean body paint and headdresses.
At least he had goggles, even if they were hanging around his neck right now.
"Keep up," said Brad, sounding like he was coming from far away, and Kris realized he'd gotten distracted again by a couple of girls in long skirts and nothing else. They were really colorful skirts.
Since Brad was already turning around to come back for him, Kris stopped his bike where he was and took a look around at the people just going on with their business all around him and feeling like one tiny piece of a very large whole. At least, until someone singled him out.
"Hey, aren't you--?"
"No, but he gets that a lot," said Brad, because he knew Kris wouldn't lie about it. "Isn't he just adorable?"
Kris just smiled and didn't have to say anything at all.
"You're a lucky guy," she said, and Kris wasn't sure if she believed them, or was just going with it in the spirit of the moment.
"I'd be luckier if he'd put out," said Brad, pinching Kris's cheek. "I mean, just look at that mouth." Kris opened his mouth to protest, but that didn't actually help at all. "See what I mean?"
"The week is young," she said, like it was an inevitable conclusion that Kris would give in to Brad's charms before they left the playa. And Kris wasn't saying he wouldn't have, if Brad had actually been using charms on him, except that it seemed to be something that could get really complicated really fast.
"How true, how true," said Brad, giving her a brilliant smile before giving Kris's arm a tug and they were on their way again.
"Thanks," said Kris when they were out of earshot, not only of her but of anyone. Despite the vast numbers of people who swarmed in to form a city, there were moments when you really could feel alone out there. "I didn't want to be mean."
Brad just shrugged. "You deserve to be able to get away from it all for a while as much as the rest of us," he said. "Come on, we're almost there."
"I didn't know we had a destination," said Kris. "I though we were just riding."
"We can't do both?" said Brad, and technically Kris thought they were mutually exclusive, but he guessed you could do one on the way to the other. They were now obviously headed towards a large art installation standing alone on the playa, made up of thin, towering sheets of twisted metal, put together like a gigantic blossoming flower reflecting the light of the sun. Beneath it was a platform and, after dismounting, they sat down on the edge of it. There were a few other people around, but mostly they were alone.
Brad crossed his legs in front of himself and pulled a joint out of his front pocket, offering it to Kris to light up. Which, with a quick look around - just habit, really - he did.
"You're not what I thought you'd be," said Brad when Kris passed it back, holding the smoke while he watched a family of four bike by in the distance, two parents and two children, all of indeterminate sex.
"Yeah, I get that a lot," said Kris. "People get weird ideas about me. I don't know where they come from."
"Oh, don't give me that," said Brad. "You know exactly where they come from. People have expectations about people with your background and you know that perfectly well. It's okay, I'll own my stereotyping. But I think you like subverting it sometimes."
Kris just smiled a little bit, and okay, he might be a little busted on that one. "It's not my fault if they assume things," he said.
And it wasn't his fault if Brad assumed things about him either; with Adam in his life, he should've known better.
"So why here?" said Kris, looking up at the towering flower above him for a moment, both reflecting the sunlight and shielding his eyes from it.
"I just saw it when we were riding," said Brad. "I decided it was going to be our place."
"Our place," repeated Kris, exhaling in a stream of smoke, watching it drift away in front of him. He didn't really lay claim to places, or attach relationships or memories to them, but this was different.
This was someone reaching out to him, and Kris was going to take it.