(no subject)
Hmm... I found Ode to nice guys and Ode to nice girls at Katie's LJ and thought I'd post them here... it's true and so is the rest of what she or someone along the line wrote so here it is
Nice guys, and nice girls do exist. But for those that lament over that sort of crap... grow a pair. Yes, I said grow a pair. Guys, the reason you're nothing more than a friend is because you never put yourself as more than a friend. You causually mention "hey, what if we dated?" instead of seriously pursuing the girl, which is why you get the much dreaded response of "you're too nice to date!" or "You're like a brother to me!" If you don't seriously try, she won't take you seriously. Those girls aren't going to go for you because, yes you're a nice guy, but nothing worth while is ever easy to obtain. Hence, try pursuing the girl a little bit. IF she's really worth your time, then put in the effort.
And on that same note, to the girls who get frustrated because the apple of their eye keeps saying he wants a "nice girl" but doesn't think of you more than just a friend. There's probably a reason for that. Either you've got some major problem/conflict that would make the two of you dating a complete clusterfuck, or maybe... just maybe... the guy you're attention is focused on is an immature asshole himself.
"But Stu! He really is a nice guy! He's nice to all the girls he dates and always nice to me!" Yes, but if he really was as good as you say... he'd be dating you instead of looking elsewhere. He's too wrapped up in himself and some convoluted ideal of a girl, that he's too immature to take the time to look at what's right in front of his face. Same goes for the girls that don't even bother to take a look at the guys they continually dump on.
So to the nice girls and nice guys... try taking a look around yourself. You might actually find that there are people who are just as good, that are interested in you. That or stop your bitching and DO something about it. Get off your ass and go find those guys or girls that are worth your time. Put effort into it. Stop waiting for everything to come to you. Because it won't. Nothing ever does.
And for all those "nice" people out there... there are those of us that realize this. That realize we've got some nice female friends that are worth something. We're the same guys that are seen as assholes because we're also not a doormat like the rest. We know when to say "No" and we don't take the bullshit when we don't need to. We're just as understanding, we listen, and we're patient... but as with anything, there are points where you draw a line. You don't take the crap from your significant other if they're being out of place, and you tell them so. No relationship will really be worthwhile or last if all you ever do is just pander to the other person's every whim. That's boring and stupid, and you'll just end up miserable. Show a backbone. People do take notice of that.
You really want to know the reason why those girls that are worthwhile are taken? It's because of guys who take the time to sit back, look around, and realize "shit, this one's a keeper" and they jump at that fact, while the rest of you "nice guys" sit on your hands and do nothing. Yes, I know there are those that have just had a really bad string of luck when it comes to relationships, and they are kind of jaded when it comes to starting another. And they're tired of being alone... and having no one. But in the end... you're just as valuable, and you're just as worth while. There will be those of us who will come along and see that. Everything just takes time. So be patient, for everyone's day does come. But that day will only come if you put in the effort.