Lena Headey's Movies - a completely unofficial career overview! (part 2)
Part two of my endless summer of hop, skipping and occasionally fast-forwarding my way through Lena Headey's career...
As ever, these are not entirely intended to be taken seriously. Except when they are ;-)
Anazapta (2001) Directed by Alberto Sciamma
I have to admit to approaching this movie with more than considerable trepidation. The reviews, well, let’s just say they weren’t exactly complimentary. Bearing that in mind and with expectations suitably lowered, I was actually quite pleasantly surprised. It’s no classic, don’t get me wrong, but it’s an entertainingly muddy, rain-lashed romp through some kind of Medieval nonsense about a nasty plague, a nasty bunch of religious-types and Lena in a chastity belt. Truth to tell, I can’t really shed much more light on it than that (it’s not exactly one to watch on repeat and the plot was as muddy as the setting) but Lena has a huge role in it and it was fun while it lasted.
Easily available on DVD in the UK. Seems to be a little trickier and a lot more expensive to obtain in the US.
Ripley’s Game (2002) Directed by Liliana Cavani
Happily, not a direct sequel to The Talented Mr Ripley (because Lena’s not in that, which means I haven’t seen it!) Ripley’s Game finds John Malkovich assuming the role of Tom Ripley, a man who has a big ol’ gorgeous house and a gorgeous missus but seems to pay his mortgage by indulging in the odd spot of criminality. He ensnares hapless, terminally ill, terminally dull Dougray Scott in his latest devious scheme and the boys trot around murdering people and generally being naughty. Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Lena is saddled with the thankless role of the goodly and hoodwinked wife. The film is perfectly watchable but it’s difficult to care about any of the characters (especially Scott who wanders limply from scene to scene) and it’s instantly forgettable. Would enliven a dreary Sunday afternoon, but then so would The Cave and that has the advantage of wet suits.
Widely available on DVD.
Possession (2002) Directed by Neil LaBute
Me: “You want to watch it through?”
C: “Well yes.”
Me: “But Lena’s only in it a tiny bit.”
C: “I know, but I feel like we should.”
Oh how that exchange came back to haunt us. Based on a novel by A. S. Byatt, Possession is a tedious attempt to marry love stories in the past and present. It is an attempt grievously thwarted by risible dialogue, a plodding pace and leads (Gwyneth Paltrow and Aaron Eckhart) who enjoy about as much chemistry as oil and water. And Lena? Lena has a tiny bit-part as the hapless, secret, doomed (sigh) lesbian lover of the woman in the flashbacks. Eventually she wanders into a pond with rocks in her pocket. I suspect that was probably because she’d had the misfortune of reading the remainder of the script…
Widely available on DVD.
The Actors (2003) Directed by Conor McPherson
The Actors is a somewhat bizarre non-com in that it’s a movie that sells itself as a comedy but isn’t actually very funny. An excellent cast (including Michael Caine and Dylan Moran - who is very bloody funny, just beg, steal or borrow series one of Black Books) deserves better than this muddle of a plot centring around mistaken identities, terrible disguises and daft contrivances. There are some genuine laugh out loud moments but they are too few and far between to be redemptive. Recommended only for Lena’s gorgeous hair, the leather trousers, Lena making the smoking of a cigarette outrageously sexy, and for those who are curious to know what her version of an Oirish accent is like.
Easily available in UK. Only available on R2 (UK format) import in USA.
The Brothers Grimm (2005) Directed by Terry Gilliam
An interesting experiment in… actually, who the fuck knows? It’s Terry Gilliam directing which means the whole piece looks fantastic, but this alt.fairy-tale veers wildly between outrageous black humour, slapstick and genuine nastiness and ultimately never really works out where to set its stall. Having said that, it’s never less than entertaining and consequently something of a shame that it ended up as such a hodge-podge of studio-meddling and half-arsed editing.
Heath Ledger and Matt Damon are the eponymous brothers who start out as tricksters and end up starring in their own real-life fairy-tale, while Lena has fun as Angelika the trapper’s daughter. Actually, she didn’t have fun. By all accounts, this movie was the one where she contemplated throwing in the acting towel for good, but it’s still well worth watching. As are the DVD extras where Lena, conspicuous by her absence, finally crops up in one interview to grit her teeth through ten seconds of by-the-book-speak about what a wonderful experience it had been, which was possibly the finest part of her entire performance.
Widely available on DVD or here: http://www.youtube.com/user/lenaprofile#p/u.
The Cave (2005) Directed by Bruce Hunt
“Life-changing and brilliant” (Lena Headey, Brunch with Bridget, ep 59)
There can’t be much left unsaid about this 2005 horror classic aside from the fact that - thanks to one of those ludicrous Hollywood drownings where three seconds of CPR miraculously revives her - Lena wears an ever-diminishing wet suit for the latter half of it… oh, and it’s complete and utter bollocks. But it is kinda fun if you’re in the mood for a brainless, shamelessly derivative, occasionally nicely designed and utterly cheese-laden popcorn flick. On the plus side, it is Lena-heavy and it does also feature Piper Perabo so you pays your money and you takes your chances.
Widely available and really really cheap on DVD.
Imagine Me and You (2005) Directed by Ol Parker
This may just about be the sweetest movie ever made. Or the sweetest one Lena ever made at any rate. On her wedding day, Piper Perabo’s Rachel falls rather inconveniently in love-at-first-sight with her florist Luce (Lena). Only problem being that Rachel is now married to a very lovely bloke and she’s not actually into girls, or at least she doesn’t think she is. The movie is fluffy, utterly cute, very funny (Anthony Head effortlessly steals every single scene he’s in) and somehow manages to wangle a happy ending for everyone involved. As if that wasn’t enough, there’s synchronised disco dancing, Lena in pigtails and Lena and Piper making out like mad things on a bed of roses. And if that’s still not enough for you then I’m not entirely sure what you’re doing on this lj…
Widely available on DVD. The R1 version has loads of extras unavailable on R2 and a nicer cover to boot…
300 (2006) Directed by Zack Snyder
Y’all must have seen this. Loads of blokes haring around in loin cloths, all set against a gorgeous back-drop of green-screen-rendered prettiness, while Lena wears outfits that an ill-timed sneeze would chuck her out of. It’s loud, bloody, unexpectedly romantic and stunningly shot. Lena more than holds her own amidst the rampant testosterone and gets plenty of decent scenes, which, considering the emphasis placed on the blokes in the loin cloths, is no mean feat.
Widely available on DVD in vanilla or all-singing, all-dancing, digital, extras-laden versions.
St. Trinian’s (2007) Directed by Oliver Parker
I will freely admit that I’ve seen this twice now and I’ve laughed like a drain both times. Outrageously, unashamedly British, fabulously OTT and shot by someone who possibly suffers from ADHD, this is one to either love or loathe. Lena’s not actually in it very much (unless you find the deleted scenes where most of her stuff ended up) but Rupert Everett’s delightfully unhinged and hysterically funny performance as headmistress Camilla Fritton makes it worth putting up with the musical montages, the split-screen shenanigans, and the Girls Aloud cameo. I would imagine that a fair bit of the humour gets lost in translation but there’s still a lot to like here. And I have to say that Lena’s turn as a straight-laced, stick-up-her-arse school ma’am is quite disconcertingly yummy…
Widely available on DVD. Deleted scenes here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fZ_w-tPvb0 and here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozQYtd4eZEU
The Contractor (2007) Directed by Josef Rusnak
Skip through all the scenes of Wesley Snipes and his horse and then all the scenes of Wesley Snipes looking tearful in a loft with some kid and you might catch a few of Lena strolling about in an awesome suit with amazing hair. Seriously, the hair is stunning. Which is pretty much all I can say about this one because I’ve never actually been bored enough to sit through it in its entirety. Epileptics or those with a sensitive disposition should be warned that the amount of ridiculously tricksy editing - jump cuts, slo-mo, strobe lighting, pauses, double-speed - could be enough to induce seizure activity.
Widely available for $00.1 or 50p on DVD.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (2008-9) Various directors. Created by Josh Friedman
I am a Sarah Connor geek. There, I said it. I was a geek for the movies and I was and still am a complete and utter geek for the TV show. Most of that is down to Sarah. I’d never heard of Lena Headey before this show. I didn’t even know the show had been made until I read an article the week it started airing over here and sheepishly admitted to my long-suffering missus that I would have to watch at least one episode because it was Terminator and Sarah and, well, just that really. The rest, as they say, is her-story because, for all its flaws (and S2 had its fair share of flaws) Lena and TSCC gave us a stunningly good Sarah Connor.
Season one only lasted nine episodes before the WGA strike brought it to a premature conclusion. The over-arcing plot of the machine chasing the Connors who were in turn chasing down the origins of Skynet was well-plotted, well thought-out and - with just the right amount of disbelief suspended - one hell of a ride.
Season two had some brilliant episodes but the shattering of all the main character relationships was too much, too soon for a show that was still trying to win its audience over and establish itself as a serious contender in the ratings. Everything fans had loved was torn apart: Sarah and John spent much of the season at loggerheads, Cameron became glitchy and shifty, Derek wandered off to co-star in the Derek and Jesse Show, Riley wasn’t all that interesting and Ellison tried to teach ethics to an infant Skynet-wannabe. Despite all that, it was still excellent television, it had ideas and ambition, a superb cast, Bear McCreary working the score, and ultimately, above all else, it had Sarah.
Lena’s Sarah had me at “John. Now.” I hadn’t ever thought that anyone could step into Linda Hamilton’s boots, but Headey never tried to imitate Hamilton, she just quietly made this Sarah her own. Determined to change her son’s fate while simultaneously terrified of her own claiming her before she had the chance to complete her mission, Sarah spent thirty episodes fighting to keep a promise she had made to her son in episode one: “I’ll stop it.” The show eventually came full-circle back to that promise, with Sarah having survived rejection, betrayal, a couple of bullets, torture and the loss of pretty much everyone she had ever loved. Alone but unbowed, she renewed her promise in the show’s dying minutes as what remained of her family either left her or died around her. Lena’s Sarah broke my heart on a pretty much weekly basis, and in doing so gave us one of the most memorable female characters ever to grace the small screen. Forget the abomination that was Terminator Salvation, TSCC actually understood that Sarah Connor was the heart of the Terminator franchise.
Both seasons widely available on DVD.
The Red Baron (2008) Directed by Nikolai Müllerschön
Blah blah, planes, rah rah, jingoism, blah blah, legendary flying hero… Yep, that’s what I thought too. A movie focusing on the “greatest fighter pilot of all time” didn’t exactly sound like my cup of tea either (milk, no sugar, thanks). But The Red Baron is actually bloody good fun. Well, aside from all the horrors of war stuff and the occasional hint of mortal peril. Mattias Schweighöfer makes for a very charismatic lead and enjoys some fairly sizzling chemistry with the lovely Ms Headey. Playing nurse Käte Otersdorf (say “Kate” but put an “uh” on the end) with an occasionally distracting Belgian accent, Lena is called upon to point out the downsides of war to the boisterous hero, look lovely in a nurse’s uniform and then provide some good old traditional hurt-comfort when he bangs his head.
Ignore the slightly heavy-handed pontificating and enjoy the fabulous, fabulous period costumes, stunning aerial sequences and a sweetly played but ultimately tragic romance.
Widely available on DVD (but a hell of a lot cheaper in the UK!)
The Broken (2008) Directed by Sean Ellis (review shamelessly copied and pasted from an earlier lj entry, because I’m just bloody lazy like that!)
Gina McVey (Lena Headey) seems to have a normal life. She works as a radiographer at a London hospital, has a handsome French boyfriend and has a close relationship with her father and brother. At a family dinner a mirror inexplicably crashes to the ground - cue nervous laughter and jokes about bad luck - but soon afterwards, Gina’s normal life starts to go to hell. Convinced she has seen herself driving by in her own car, Gina follows the woman to an apartment block, and upon leaving the building is involved in an horrific road traffic collision. The crash leaves her with a head injury, but more than that: a boyfriend she no longer trusts, dreams full of violence and terrifying images, and a lingering sense of something she’s not quite remembering. Tracking back to piece together the incident that resulted in the car crash, Gina gradually unravels the mother of all identity crises.
Written and directed by Sean Ellis, The Brøken is an exercise in style over substance. The film is beautifully shot in a London drenched with metallic shades of greys and blues, the only vivid colour the blood red of Gina’s injured eye and the blood that drips in her nightmares or pours in the one jarring schlock-horror death scene. Unfortunately, Ellis is so taken with the look of his movie that he forgets to grace it with any logic, so no one knows why a doppelganger would choose to assume the life of a London radiographer, it just does. The thrill, therefore, must be in the chase, and Ellis does deliver a sustained sense of unease, some genuine shocks and a decent final-reel twist. This is despite every scene being accompanied by a relentless and incredibly intrusive score which is irritating within the first five minutes then becomes the equivalent of white-noise, negating any effect its underscoring of the tension may have had.
As Gina, Lena Headey carries the movie, and her performance - her determination to solve her own mystery offset against her rising panic at the turns it is taking - never regresses to the level of simpering horror movie stalk- and-slash victim. Instead, Headey is engaging and sympathetic, and as the movie approaches its climax she accords it an emotional impact which the film as a whole perhaps does not deserve.
The Brøken is a confused movie; full of reflections and mirrors, it seems to suffer an identity crisis of its own. Devoid of logic or explanation and obsessed with its own appearance, its narcissism negates an interesting premise, a leading actress giving it her all, and the opportunity to have been so much more.
Widely available on DVD.
Tell-Tale (2009) Directed by Michael Cuesta
An unrelentingly grim revenge flick, Tell-Tale is a nasty little movie which even Lena’s presence can do nothing to redeem. Based (and I use that term incredibly loosely) on the premise of Poe’s The Tell Tale Heart, the movie centres around Josh Lucas’ heart transplant recipient whose donated organ had less than legal origins. Lucas is a dreary, highly unsympathetic protagonist, Lena certainly isn’t at her best and the whole endeavour leaves an unpleasant taste behind. Bad script, bad pacing, bad acting and crappy hair. For completionists only.
Widely available on R1 (but not cheap) and easily importable.
Brunch with Bridget - AfterEllen website.
Okay, so it’s not a movie or a TV series but I didn’t want to end on such a duff-note. Anyone who’s not seen the interview that Lena gave with her buddy Bridget on AfterEllen, hot-foot it over there now. It’s about twenty minutes long and it’s absolutely priceless.
http://www.afterellen.com/blog/karmankregloe/brunch-with-bridget-video-blog-59
Apparently, the vid is now copyright-restricted to US viewers only, which is a bit of an arse. I am infinitely saddened that I will never again witness Lena pillow-fighting or impersonating Angela Lansbury… ;-)