Two if by sea
I can still swim! albeit in very poor form, like I'd last all of ten seconds if I was unexpectedly thrown into the ocean and then drown, immediately. But I did, like, actual laps (okay, four) and rightly so because my swimsuit costs 78 dollars because what is money for except for spending. Hoping this will end where I am left with an amazingly toned/lithe body and can swim 10+ laps without having a heart attack (i.e. I signed up for swimming lessons and this was actually a prerequisites check to see if I could still float so in a way I surpassed my own expectations).
Then I ruined it all with pasta, but. Some stuff still sucks, but. I'm not hating my job and I'm learning a little guitar, learning a little about letting go. I'm finding out I have like zero embarrassment left because there's really no pain to be felt anymore when you've been, well, dumped, and y'know, sometimes that gets me far enough.
NYC in three weeks and then a strong-maybe Singapore/Hong Kong at the end of October which is legitimately weird and way exciting, like I thought this was stuff I should save up to share with someone special, but life still moves on and it can be something to look forward to all on my own, too. I have cousins I have not seen for years, and extended relatives I have only seen on scratchy VCR tapes. I have ancestral villages to visit and a peak to climb and an island to walk around on. I was standing in the backyard today and was suddenly hit with a very deep affection for gravity and how our house completely blocks out the tilt of the sun from the garden beds, and that is why we have never succeeded with perennial plants, hell, with one-summerial plants. Except a couple of peonies that my grandma picked out, which has to be more than coincidential. The earth moves, what, approximately 1000 meters a second and we are so lucky. We are in movement all the time!
I need: to finish Feynman, to play Mumford & Sons I Will Wait at just speed, to diet again because there are at least two weddings this year, to bike more despite my bike being so crappy even the bike shop won't repair it (even when it involves me paying them), to not get a chemical peel because I can so live with scars, to start graduate-level coursework (and all the steps leading up to, ugh), to save up for New Zealand. To not work out in my pajamas. To find a way to reconcile my guilt upon reading the news with being like, okay, my life should still be important to me.
Then I ruined it all with pasta, but. Some stuff still sucks, but. I'm not hating my job and I'm learning a little guitar, learning a little about letting go. I'm finding out I have like zero embarrassment left because there's really no pain to be felt anymore when you've been, well, dumped, and y'know, sometimes that gets me far enough.
NYC in three weeks and then a strong-maybe Singapore/Hong Kong at the end of October which is legitimately weird and way exciting, like I thought this was stuff I should save up to share with someone special, but life still moves on and it can be something to look forward to all on my own, too. I have cousins I have not seen for years, and extended relatives I have only seen on scratchy VCR tapes. I have ancestral villages to visit and a peak to climb and an island to walk around on. I was standing in the backyard today and was suddenly hit with a very deep affection for gravity and how our house completely blocks out the tilt of the sun from the garden beds, and that is why we have never succeeded with perennial plants, hell, with one-summerial plants. Except a couple of peonies that my grandma picked out, which has to be more than coincidential. The earth moves, what, approximately 1000 meters a second and we are so lucky. We are in movement all the time!
I need: to finish Feynman, to play Mumford & Sons I Will Wait at just speed, to diet again because there are at least two weddings this year, to bike more despite my bike being so crappy even the bike shop won't repair it (even when it involves me paying them), to not get a chemical peel because I can so live with scars, to start graduate-level coursework (and all the steps leading up to, ugh), to save up for New Zealand. To not work out in my pajamas. To find a way to reconcile my guilt upon reading the news with being like, okay, my life should still be important to me.