(no subject)
Lately my moods have been such a rollercoaster. Sometimes im happier than ever, and sometimes I just wish I wasn't even alive. The difference between my high and low points is incredible. Lately it has just left me isolated and dead inside. I have no emotion, no passion for anything. There's no one here who I can call a true friend... I have plenty of people I know that I talk to at parties, but when I'm sitting in my apartment there is only a small handfull of people I can call to do something. I've had no motivation to really do anything on my own, even skateboarding now seems like a distant thing to me, I'm rarely out on my board anymore (even though I have taken a recent interest in urban mountain biking). I'm in one of the biggest cities in the world and I feel alone. Is that fucked up or what?
The only time when I'm not depressed is when I have an actual task ahead of me. When I'm in school I'm happy. When I'm riding my bike through the financial district I find myself risking my life doing stupid shit on it, just to dull the boredom of my lonliness. I dont know what the fuck is wrong with me to tell you the truth, I'm just frustrated I guess. Fuck it.
It doesnt help that working at CVS sucks.
The only time when I'm not depressed is when I have an actual task ahead of me. When I'm in school I'm happy. When I'm riding my bike through the financial district I find myself risking my life doing stupid shit on it, just to dull the boredom of my lonliness. I dont know what the fuck is wrong with me to tell you the truth, I'm just frustrated I guess. Fuck it.
It doesnt help that working at CVS sucks.