(no subject)
Everyday I show up to Printmaking class I get so hyped up listening to the teacher talk. He has such a passion for printmaking and it makes me excited. Almost everyone else in the class is taking it to fulfill an upper elective art class for the BFA requirements though. So here I am, the lonely student who is really psyched on photo intaglio and nothing goes right. Everyday it's like your parents forgetting your birthday or a betrayal by a good friend. Knocked down a few pegs twice a week. I'm so terribly far behind in that class at this point. I have trouble asking for help but I even broke down and asked a few weeks ago if he could go over what I was doing one on one. He did. It was exactly as I was doing it. His worked. Mine still don't. I'm the only kid psyched on this class, I even asked for help and I still can't do it. I feel like such a fucking idiot. Put film on a plate, expose the plate, put the plate in a wash for 9 minutes, rinse it off. I'm perpetually in a foul mood. The only thing I can fathom majoring in is some form of art and aside from moving to LA and doing an integrated media program, printmaking is it. That's my ticket and I'm at the point where I just want to quit school and be done with it. The knowledge that for the next 40 years of my life I'm going to be working a job I hate sucks, but I've just come to accept it as an inevitability. I want and I need to just sleep this shit off. I'm sorry I don't visit but I need my head straight.