Parenting
I remember that when I was pregnant I could only focus on having a baby, HAVING it, getting it, preparing for it. I just didn't have the capacity to really think about my family growing or sharing my home, getting a new roommate or even my thoughts on being a parent. Perhaps it was a self defense system or maybe I just didnt have any idea what I was in for.
Then we had a newborn, then a baby. It was rough at times, our marriage suffered, we often felt like we were drowning in exhaustion, raw emotion or fear. It was also amazing at time, deeply full of joy and wonder. Oliver moved into my heart and pushed the walls on a daily basis, somehow even changing the ways I relate to friends and my family. Motherhood consistently surprises me and changes me. I genuinely love it.
Now, I'm starting to get a glimmer of what it means to have a KID in our house, an independent person, a roommate! His emotions are bigger, his thoughts are more clear and his actions are deliberate and thorough. He's so much more than a crying pooping blob now, he's a family member. It's so wonderful to see him grow.
I came home from work today to see my baby with a fresh haircut, looking all dapper. I got him ready for bed and read him book after book, having him say words with me and making him laugh with silly voices. He was so calm, just sitting in my lap, no bottles, no crying, no baby! It was wonderful and calm and beautiful.
We watched Toy Story 3 last night and I suppose I'm still thinking about the eventuality that he'll grow and go. These 18 years are so short, the baby years gone already. This is a note to myself to cherish each and every day (well, maybe not the tantrums all day kind of days).
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