mis sentimientos
well, it finally happened...and kind of when i least expected it. Last night i had way too much free time, i had a day off, which was strange, but i also had absolutely NO homework...so i tried to relax...bubblebaths oh so yummy but since i had no hot water i actually boiled a huge pot and dumped it in the tub...the lengths to which i will go for a hor bath...then i had to remove the wonderful color from my toes, which made me sad, so ren you will have to replace it some time soon....;). Then i got a very surprising call from some friends i havent seen in a very long time...people i really dont have that much in common with anymore and yet...nothing felt like it had changed all that much and it made me happy to think that even though hes a druggy now...he hasnt changed in some ways...and then as soon as i was alone again...feelings overwhelmed me. i am so worried about ren, and scott,...and myself to be honest...and then thomas came over and started asking all of these questions, and ive just been holding it all in, eventually i had a nervous breakdown and the sobs wracked my body for a good couple hours and i drifted off into a fitful sleep...i feel oddly refreshed. I thought it was a little strange that the person around when i fell apart was thomas, especially with all the crap we have been through lately...it made me feel that maybe a little part is resolving itself, and i have missed the times when me and thomas talk about everything and can hang out without ripping eachothers heads off...but why wasnt it nicole? or ren?....it makes me want to analyze myself. Because i WAS trying to talk to them...and i couldnt, and then...thomas. anyways, none of my thoughts are really coherently flowing...i have lots of spanish today...and i get to work at kmart, oh joy, and that isnt sarcasm people. my mom is out of town until friday meaning i get the house all to my lonesome...